


Under Your Wings

by etoile_etiolee



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Bottom Jensen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mpreg, Pregnant Jensen, Top Jared, Were-Creatures, Were-Dragons, Werebabies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-06
Updated: 2015-05-02
Packaged: 2018-03-10 17:40:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 43,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3298526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/etoile_etiolee/pseuds/etoile_etiolee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared, a weredragon, and Jensen, a human, are happily married. They know they have little to no chance to have a child of their own and have settled for adoption. The thing is, if reproduction between weredragons and humans is rare, it's not impossible. Life is sometimes full of suprises. </p>
<p>This work is my intellectual property.  Please ask before sharing on website other than livejournal and ao3.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Beta work by firesign10
> 
> The banner I made for this fic was an artist entry for the reversebang. However, the author posted an incomplete fic and never wrote back to the reversebang mods. I was then allowed to write the story myself.

_Prologue_

Jared and Jensen got married in February, in a very intimate ceremony with around fifty guests, where they exchanged vows, and then withdrew to a small reception in a nearby restaurant. The same evening, they left Boston to go spend a week at the Great Brewster Island, owned by the Padaleckis and two other weredragon families. They held another ceremony there, following the weredragon traditions, where Jared’s parents and sister shifted and flew together under the grey sky to Jensen’s amazement. He had seen Jared in his dragon form multiple times, but to see his whole family aloft, that was another thing entirely. He kissed Jared and told him to join them in the sky. His husband was a powerful dragon with large wings made of grey membrane scattered by blue and green spots. He rose up high in the air, swirling past his sister’s slightly smaller frame, with the same enthusiasm he put in everything he did.

_Holy shit,_ Jensen thought, looking up in the skies with a hand over his eyes to protect them. _I married a weredragon._

They bought a house half an hour away from the city, in a quiet area near a large park where Jared would be able to fly any time he wanted to. The Padaleckis had a cottage on Great Brewster Island, ready for them any time they wanted to visit, or when Jared needed to be close to his dragon side. Jensen was twenty-five and working as a nurse for two retirement homes. Jared was twenty-four and had started his own business with his friend Genevieve, a catering service that specialized in meals for weredragons. Not that weres and humans didn’t eat basically the same food, but weredragons were especially fond of spicy, strong-tasting meals, with lots of meat. Jared and Gen’s little business was doing well, although Jared had to work countless hours and they couldn’t spend as much time with each other as Jensen would have liked. Still, they were a solid couple who were crazy in love with each other, and that was enough.

They had learned early in their relationship that they wouldn’t be able to have children of their own. Jensen was a carrier, but an interspecies reproduction with weredragons was, although not completely unheard of, still an exception. They would have had a better chance if Jensen had any were genes, whether it be werewolves or werecats, transmitted through either side of the family. Some were-species were more compatible with humans, mostly primate and large mammals, but Jensen had looked at his family history and there hadn't been any interspecies breeding in the last four generations.

To tell the truth, Jensen didn’t really mind. He liked the idea of having kids, but as he had told Jared, there were plenty of children that needed parents. Adoption was definitely in his sights. Jared was basically right there with him, although Jensen knew he had more trouble accepting the reality of adopted progeny. Weredragons were close-knit families, and passing their knowledge and biological heritage through the next generation was important. It was his instinct speaking. His disappointment didn’t last long, though. Jared was a generous and kind man. “I’ve been selfish,” he told Jensen. “Because there are so many orphans out there, so many kids in need, and I can provide them a good environment to grow up. That’s the way to go, Jensen.”

They decided to give themselves three years before considering the idea of adopting more seriously. They were still young, after all. They wanted to take time for themselves before starting a family. They also needed money, and a good profile for the social service if they wanted to have a chance. Being a solid, established couple, eventually married, would play in their favor.

Meanwhile, though, they didn’t think about it too much. Well, Jensen didn’t and he knew Jared well enough to feel they were on the same page. They had each other, and it was enough. 

 

_Chapter 1_

For their second wedding anniversary, Jared and Jensen want to keep things simple. The fact that Jensen has his night off in the middle of the week is already something to be celebrated. He'd accepted the position of head night nurse at the Whispering Willows Retirement Home three months ago, tired of working at two different places. He’d been assured by his superior that it wouldn’t last more than two years before he could have a permanent position on the evening or day team, and he has one weekend off out of two. He’s still having a hard time adjusting. An old nurse once told him that no matter how long you work the night shift, your body never really get used to it, and Jensen now understands what she meant.

Jared and he see even less of each other because of their demanding schedules, and they’ve decided that as long as Jensen works nights exclusively, they would postpone their adoption project. Luckily, they get along so well they still make their relationship work.

This, for instance; Jared and him sharing a meal in their favorite restaurant, chatting about their day, laughing and goofing around like two teenagers? It's enough. And seeing the way Jared’s eyes shine under the soft light? Yes... It’s all Jensen needs.

Licking at his spoon after he’s finished his chocolate cheesecake, Jared makes an obscene, satisfied noise. “Gosh. Wish I had this recipe.”

“You don’t need it,” Jensen points out, pushing his half-finished crème brulée toward his husband. "Yours is sensational already." 

“Aww, come on.”

Jared is always very modest when it comes to his catering service, but Jensen is proud and he knows how hard Genevieve and Jared have worked to establish themselves in the business. They now have four full-time employees, and their reputation is still building. Jared is the chef. He supervises every recipe, he creates new ones. Jensen is always the first one to test them, and he has come to really appreciate weredragon delicacies. 

Jared finishes the dessert and grabs Jensen's hand over the table, smiling at him. “Okay, I know you’re not a fan of long, cheesy love declarations, so let’s get home so I can fuck you silly to celebrate our anniversary, how does that sound?”

Jensen snorts and feels a blush crawling up his cheeks. “That sounds fantastic.”

Jared winks at him.

They stumble in the kitchen, still shivering from the cold, grabbing at each other and trying to kiss while taking off their winter coats. Jared knocks a chair down, Jensen bumps against the fridge’s door, they snicker very quietly, as if there is someone else in the house they might disturb.

“Bedroom?” Jared asks.

“Yeah, before we get seriously hurt,” Jensen answers.

They climb the steps to the second floor holding hands. In their room, Jensen makes a show of undressing himself while Jared looks at him, mouth slightly opened, eyes attentive and hot.

“Come on,” Jensen coaxes, kneeling on the bed while fisting his cock softly. “Do it.”

“Yeah?” Jared smiles, pulling his shirt off, then his jeans.

“Please?”

“You know I can’t resist you when you’re dressed, imagine when you’re naked.”

Jensen winks at him, giving his dick a more forceful stroke. He’s always felt at ease with Jared, free of any inhibitions. Maybe it’s his husband's natural character that had allowed it in the first place, had given Jensen the space and love he needed to be comfortable with himself. Only then was it easier for him to open to others. Weredragons are known to be exuberant people, and if the cliché surely isn’t always true, it fits Jared perfectly. His presence is always surrounded by energy, even when he isn’t doing anything. That’s the first person you notice when entering a room -and no, it’s not because the man is basically a giant. It’s more than that. It’s like Jared is surrounded by an aura that spreads and touches everyone around him.

Or maybe Jensen is just head-over-heels gone for him. Has been since the first time they had met, on the subway. Jared had stepped on Jensen’s foot while trying to make his way inside the car. He’d apologised intensely to Jensen, who had blushed to the tip of his ears at this Greek god paying attention to him. It had made Jared worried about his health. “Are you alright? It’s hot in here, you look hot... Well, I mean, you look like you... I’ll shut up. We should sit.” 

Jensen will never forget the chat they had in the subway, and that he had passed his station without noticing it, until they had reached the end of the line and Jared had wondered where he was going. When Jensen had told him, Jared had frowned. “That was three stops ago.”

“I forgot. We were... talking,” Jensen had mumbled.

“That’s the nicest thing a handsome man has ever done for me, forgetting to get out of the train,” Jared had said, smiling hesitantly.

It had been an adorable way to reveal his sexual orientation, and Jensen had smiled so wide he thought he might have pulled a muscle.

“Thank you. I always pull that trick with guys I like,” he had replied, so eager to say that YES, YES! he too was gay, that he had completely forgotten to be embarrassed.

Then, well, they had never really left each other after that.

“Jen ? Do you need some time alone?”

Jared is now completely naked, his impressive cock half hard between his legs. Jensen realizes he has drifted off, his hand still wrapped loosely around his shaft. “Was thinking about when we met in the subway,” he admits, sitting back on his heels.

Jared smiles playfully. “Are you, Jensen Ackles, going all romantic on my ass?”

“Maybe. So… I’m waiting…”

Jared huffs and rolls his eyes, but it’s only for show. He takes a deep breath and lowers his head, his long bangs falling on his face. Jensen waits in expectation: as always, the sound of Jared’s wings tearing off his skin and appearing behind him, stretched and shaking, makes the want in his belly urgent and fierce. Jared as a dragon is impressive, with his black scaled skin and long tail, but this hybrid between human and beast is Jensen’s favorite form. Not all weres are able to achieve it, and if they can, it's to different degrees. Jared is beautiful, his strong, perfect human body contrasting with those wings, pearly blue pointy fingernails, and those eyes… The same color, but catlike, pupils reduced to vertical slits.

“Yeah…” Jensen murmurs, sliding his other hand up his stomach, teasing himself until he can brush his fingertips over his nipples, shivering at the sensation.

“Okay, I need to touch you, now,” Jared breathes out, kneeling on the bed in front of Jensen, who’s more than happy to comply.

He lies on his back and bends his legs, exposing himself to his husband. Jared makes a noise close to a growl and leans forward, his large hands pushing Jensen’s thighs against his stomach as he shoves his face between his legs, nuzzling at Jensen’s hole.

“Yeah, that’s it,” Jensen encourages him, grabbing a fistful of hair and pushing Jared’s head against his ass. He keeps teasing his nipples, letting out constant moans. Jared loves it when Jensen is noisy, and if at the beginning of their relationship, he had trouble letting go, he had soon discovered that he loves being noisy too. Loves giving everything up so that Jared can play him like an instrument.

And, god, does he ever. The rimming he submits Jensen to might be the death of him, and it goes on forever, until Jensen’s a quivering mess, pleading to come, but Jared won’t have it. He tugs on Jensen’s balls and lifts his head, winking at him. There is a faint blush rising from his chest to the tip of his ears, he’s covered in sweat, his mouth swollen from the rim job, and he’s never been more beautiful, his wings hovering over the both of them.

“Fuck me, then,” Jensen pants, trying to regain some of his control.

“Yeah, okay.”

Jared doesn’t waste time opening him up with his fingers. As a bearer, Jensen self-lubricates, and he’s already wet down there with a mix of fluid and saliva. Wet and desperately empty, even with two of Jared’s fingers stroking his prostate. “Come on,” Jensen complains. “I can take it, come on, need it.”

Without further hesitation, Jared lodges the tip of his dick in Jensen’s entrance while Jensen holds his legs up, his thighs quivering from exhaustion. He barely feels the pain, and when Jared bottoms out, so deep, so big inside of him, his wings flap with a loud whooshing noise. Jensen wraps his legs around his lover’s waist, his arms around his neck, tilting his hips up.

“Give it to me,” he pleads in a gravelly voice he can barely recognise. 

Jared crushes his mouth against Jensen’s and starts pounding into him, hard. Neither of them is going to last long, and Jensen doesn’t care. He wants Jared to fill him up, wants to drip for hours afterward, because Jared, half shifted, comes longer than when in his human form, and the come that will soon fill Jensen is a lot more than human, with this slightly hot feeling to it Jensen can’t get enough of.

Predictably, he orgasms a few minutes later, when his cock brushes against Jared’s stomach. He screams Jared's name without any shame, scratches his back, and then, finally, Jared comes too, and it’s overwhelming how intense Jensen feels, like his orgasm can’t reach its peak, like it’s still building until it painfully explodes out of him, leaving Jensen out of breath with white dots flashing in and out of his vision. 

Someone’s whining. And it’s him.

Jared is shaking against him, his head shoved in the crook of Jensen’s neck, sucking at the skin there softly. “Love you so much,” he murmurs.

“Love ya too,” Jensen slurs.

He wants to let sleep take him with Jared still inside him. Two years of marriage, plus the year before that, and it’s like the first time every time they make love. Jensen still can’t believe his luck.

_Three Months Later_

Jared stirs in his sleep, waking up to the familiar sounds of Jensen coming back from work. His husband’s routine is always the same. He starts the coffee maker, then takes a quick shower and has breakfast, eyelids heavy and eyes rimmed red, always a little pale. He’ll go to sleep around nine, when Jared is ready to leave for work himself.

Jared rolls out of bed and stretches. He wants to have this quiet moment with his husband in the morning. Too many nights sleeping alone, and with Jensen’s state right now, they need to talk.

Jared knows what it's like to work so hard there’s nothing left to give when you get home. He knows he has to be patient and let Jensen settle in his new routine, giving him space and time to adjust. Except… it’s been six months since he’s taken the night shift job, and it seems to be getting worse instead of better.

In the kitchen, he finds Jensen looking down at his coffee mug with a disgusted expression. His jam-covered toast is intact as well. Jensen’s eyes are glassy, underlined with dark circles. His left leg is shaking, like it does every time he’s stressed or worried. 

Jared walks up behind him and drops his hand on his shoulders, kissing the top of his head.

“Tough night?”

“Yeah…” Jensen trails off. “We lost Mrs. Gibson. Again. It took me two damn hours to find her.” 

Jensen deals with a lot of Alzheimer patients, some of them still in good shape physically, although they are so confused they become a danger to themselves and others. This Mrs. Gibson has taken up the habit of wandering around during the night, completely naked. His family has refused to allow an order for her to wear a restriction belt during the night. They even signed legal papers stating that they would not hold the nursing home responsible for any accident. It frustrates Jensen, although he says he understand the family’s point of view. “I still feel responsible,” he’d told Jared more than once. “I won’t let that poor woman wander around, scaring other patients or worst, escaping the building. Wouldn’t be able to live with myself.”

“Where was she?” Jared asks, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

“She was sitting in the rocking chair of Mrs. Green, two floors down, humming a song. Thank god Mrs. Green sleeps like the dead. It was kind of creepy.”

Jensen sighs, then takes his coffee cup between his hands, lifting it to his mouth. A second passes before he drops it abruptly and runs out of the kitchen.

Jared finds him in the bathroom, kneeling in front of the toilet, throwing up. He wets a towel and put it on Jensen’s neck, then waits. Jensen doesn’t like to be taken care of. It’s gotten worse in the past month or so. Jensen can’t stand Jared hovering over him. 

“What is it this time?” Jared asks, trying to keep the sarcasm out of his voice.

“Oh, shut up,” Jensen mumbles, dragging himself up on quivering legs.

He rinses his mouth in the faucet while Jared stares at him, mouth hanging open. Jensen never talks to him like that. The “shut up” is not playful or exasperated -it’s brutal, harsh.

“Jen, what the fuck?”

“Why don’t you get off my back, Jared?” Jensen snaps, passing in front of him to exit the bathroom.

Jared follows him up the stairs, then in their bedroom.

“I’m on your back because I care about you!” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Jensen grumbles, grabbing the pillows discarded on the floor.

“Hey, are you messing with me? You’re exhausted. You’ve lost your appetite. When you’re not throwing up, you barely eat. You sleep twelve hours in a row, you’re…”

“I’m what?”

“Do you know how long it’s been since we’ve had sex?”

Jensen snorts and opens the closet, taking out a folded comforter and another pillow there. “Oh, okay, is this about sex? You have blue balls or something?”

“No,” Jared replies in frustration. “You’re not okay, man. This job, it’s making you sick.”

“I don’t have any other choice,” Jensen replies, arranging the sheets, their comforter, plus the other one he just took out on his side of the bed. He then surrounds it by pillows. It’s a strange arrangement, but Jensen’s sleeping habits have changed since he’s working nights. What’s another new ritual, really?

“You can quit.”

“Oh, and you’re going to pay the bills, keep me home so that I can cook and clean and-“

“Holy shit, what’s gotten into you? I never… I can’t… You know what, I’m not even going to answer to that. I’m worried, because I love you and I hate seeing you like this. That’s all there is to it.”

Jensen sits amongst the pillow. He lowers his head, bites his bottom lip. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs.

“Yeah, well, we need to talk about this, because you can’t go on like that, Jen.”

“What do you mean?” Jensen looks up at Jared through his thick eyelashes. Jared sees insecurity and fear in them. This is all so un-Jensen like.

“I mean I want you to feel better, I want you to be happy, it,” Jared says softly. 

“It’s not that simple,” Jensen says in a defeated voice. 

He’s exhausted. Jared sighs, dragging his fingers through his hair. “You sleep, and we’ll talk this afternoon when I’ll get back. If there is anything you need, call me.”

“Okay,” Jensen says in a feeble voice, burying himself under the comforters.

Jared looks at him in silence for a long time. Then, reluctantly, he closes the door behind him and gets ready for work.

Jared knows better than to call during the day to disturb Jensen’s sleep. He’s preoccupied, though, barely able to concentrate on anything. Genevieve finds him in the kitchen past three o’clock in the afternoon, baking a batch of brownies. That’s Jared’s go-to recipe for comfort, for himself as well as for the ones he loves.

“Hey. Is that recipe almost done?”

“Yeah…”

Gen tousles Jared’s hair and bumps his shoulder. “Come on, I’m taking you out.”

“What?”

“It’s a beautiful day, you’re baking brownies, which means there is still something going on between you and Jensen. I’m taking you to the park. Stretch our wings a little. It’ll do you some good.”

“But tonight’s command-“

“Matt can handle it.”

Jared would probably fight more, if he didn’t feel so bummed out. Genevieve is his best friend, they grew up together, spending their summers on Great Brewster Island, flying side by side while Jared’s little sister was trying to keep up. Gen is his confidant, always has been, and she knows how worried he is right now.

The park is almost empty at this hour. Jared and Genevieve undress in their respective cabins. Genevieve comes out first, her lean, elegant green dragon frame sliding under the sun as she walks on her four short legs and stretches her wings, almost translucent in the sunlight. Jared follows. He’s big, even considering dragon standards. It feels so good to let his wild side out, to growl at the sky and feels the familiar burn of the fire swelling in his throat. He tries to empty his mind and just feel, the air on his scales, the vibrating membranes of his wings trying to catch any draft that could lead him up.

Genevieve gives a strong stomp on the ground and rises, in a vertical position. Without holding himself back, Jared follows her.

Genevieve decides to follow Jared home. He hesitated, but after everything he had said about his husband, he knows she’s worried as well and needs to see with her own eyes. “He’ll still be sleeping, and when he wakes up, I’ll just have a peek, say I was on my way and leave you guys alone.”

To tell the truth, Jared is relieved. He’s not used to seeing Jensen like this, wonders if he could suffer from professional exhaustion, if this can head straight into depression. Gen will probably reassure him, tell him that his husband just looks tired, that’s all.

Jared sure hopes so. Jensen is the one who keeps him grounded, not the other way around. Jensen is reasonable, pragmatic, and always ready to fix problems before they become too big. Jared wears his heart on his sleeve, like his mother says. Which really means that he gets emotional and irrational about the smallest things. He needs his husband to balance him. He doesn’t know how things are supposed to work the other way around. 

The house is quiet. It’s four o’clock in the afternoon, which means Jensen is going to wake up soon. Jared makes some tea and shares a cup with Genevieve, sitting at the kitchen’s counter. He’s physically drained, but his mind is going in every direction. After a while, Genevieve stops trying to make conversation.

One hour later, Jared abruptly stands up, pushing his chair on the floor with a loud creak. “I’m going to check on him. He doesn’t usually sleep this late.”

“I’m coming with you.”

“No,” Jared murmurs, like they’re already in the bedroom. “He’s going to think we’re creeping up on him.”

“He won’t. I just want to see him, make sure he's okay. Then I’m out.”

Jared glares at Genevieve who stoically stares back. He sighs. “Okay, then...”

On the second floor, Jared practically tiptoes to the room, then turns the knob with caution and opens the door about ten centimeters wide. Jensen’s still sleeping, he can tell just by the way his husband is breathing. He’s tucked in on himself, surrounded by the pillows and comforters, his hair a golden brown mess peeking out of the sheet.

Genevieve pushes Jared so that she can have a look too. She freezes in place, frowning.

“What?” Jared mouths silently.

She keeps frowning until Jared takes her by the arm to pull her back so that he can close the door.

Jared waits until they’re back in the stair to ask. “What?” He repeats.

“Nothing, it’s...” Genevieve shakes her head. “He always sleeps like that?”

“What do you mean?”

“All those blankets and pillows and...”

“No. It’s funny, right? It started maybe two weeks ago. I don’t know, maybe he’s trying to find a better way to sleep? He told me, sleeping during the day, even if the sun’s blocked out, it doesn’t feel like sleeping during the night. He’s...”

“Jared.”

Genevieve stops at the bottom of the stairs and grabs Jared’s arm.

“What?”

“You know whom I saw sleeping like this not so long ago?”

“Huh?”

“My sister,” Genevieve says in a dramatic voice.

Jared can’t figure out where the conversation is going.

“Huh?”

“My sister. Holy shit, Jared, are you a weredragon or not?”

“What do you say?”

“Obviously, he’s _nesting_. Come on! I can’t believe you haven’t figured it out.”

Jared knows what nesting means. He’s not an idiot. But thinking that Jensen...

The pillows, the comforters, the way he tucks himself in the middle of it.

Oh.

The morning sickness, dizzy spells, tiredness and... 

“Whoa,” Jared grunts, leaning against the wall.

“Well, he is a carrier,” Genevieve says. “You told me about all those symptoms, and I thought about it but I figured hey, they must have ruled that possibility out.”

“We can’t...”

“No, reproduction between weredragons and humans is not impossible, it’s simply very rare. There’s a difference. Unless you tell me you use protection and-“

“Why would we? We can’t-“ Jared repeats with stubbornness.

“Oh, but I think you guys did it. I’m betting twenty dollars you got your husband pregnant.”

Jared feels a little dizzy. Okay, a lot. He sits on the stairs and tries to catch his breath.

“But weredragons are nesting, not... humans.”

“Well, he’s pregnant with a weredragon, and he might have some weredragon genes.”

“No one in his family has ever...”

Genevieve rolls her eyes and sits next to him. “Come on, Jared, did you get the genetic test done?”

“Of course we didn’t. Who does?”

The genetic tests are still a not so exact science. It’s a way to find recessive were genes in humans, but the results can’t be absolute, they are given in percentages. This is without taking into account how expensive they are. Jensen and he had decided not to go through with it early in their relationship. What if the results had showed that Jensen had a five percent chance of possessing were genes? It might have given them false hope. They both knew that the possibility of actually making a kid together was close to none, and they had decided to let it be. 

“So, what are you gonna do?” Genevieve asks softly, rubbing soothing circles on the small of Jared’s back.

“The hell if I know. With the way Jensen acts these days, I don’t even know how to bring up the subject without getting shut down.”

“He’s pregnant. It’s not exactly bad news, right?”

“Who’s pregnant?”

Jared literally jumps, hearing Jensen’s gruff, sleepy voice. Then he stands up quickly –too quickly, like he’s been caught doing something forbidden, facing Jensen who’s rubbing at his eyes and holding onto the railing.

“I better go,” Genevieve says as quickly as Jared stood up. 

“Seriously, guys, who’s pregnant?” Jensen asks again. 

Genevieve smiles reassuringly at Jared, then bids Jensen a quick goodbye, running off down the stairs and out the door. Jared stares daggers after her for leaving him alone to break the news.

“Huh... You? Maybe?” Jared tries a smile that feels like a grimace.

“Am I still asleep?” Jensen asks, except it’s more of a reflection than a question.

Jared takes a deep breath. “We should go sit in the kitchen.”

_This is going to be a long conversation._

**To be continued...**  
_ _ _


	2. Chapter 2

Jensen has the decency to listen to Jared from start to finish without interrupting. He’s made himself a coffee, but he doesn’t touch it, just rubs at his face now and then, nodding when a reaction is asked of him. When Jared’s done, Jensen yawns.

“Seriously? That’s it?” Jared asks, a little frustrated because he’s the one who’s sweating, he’s the one who’s nervous and on edge.

“I’m not... _nesting_ ,” Jensen says, wrinkling his nose like the term is describing something disgusting.

“You are. And there’s more, you know, like-“

Jensen lifts a finger to shut Jared down. “It doesn’t make any sense. When was the last time we fucked with actual penetration and...”

They haven’t done much in the past month, Jared is very aware of this. But as he tries to remember, he realizes how long it’s really been. If he skips a mutual blow-job –in March, hell, it was back in March, and then three weeks ago in the shower when they jerked each other off... 

“Our wedding anniversary,” Jensen murmurs, looking as bummed out as Jared. “Wow, our sexual life sucks. That was three fucking months ago.”

“Yeah.”

“I mean, I would be three months along already, right? I’m sure it would show, at least a little bit, right?”

Jensen lifts his t-shirt and looks down at his stomach, his pale skin quivering. It’s not exactly flat, but he isn’t a work-out maniac like Jared, so...

Wait. Isn’t it a bit rounder than usual?

“Huh...” 

“We’re imagining things now,” Jensen says, lowering his tee quickly, a pink blush crawling up his cheeks. “What the hell, Jared, if you think it’s possible, go get me a pregnancy test. I’ll do it.”

Jared looks at Jensen for a long time, his mouth wide open. He had imagined a discussion that would have ended up in a fight, not with Jensen being so reasonable, so... himself.

“Okay. But... aren’t you freaked out?”

Jensen shrugs. “Seriously? I know I’ve been messed up lately. My work schedule is screwing with me and that, that’s what worrying me, Jared. I can’t go on like that, I can’t just quit and... Shit. The thing is, it would be nice, knowing that my body is dealing with a pregnancy, not telling me I can’t get used to working nights.”

“You don’t have to.”

Jensen’s features tense. “We need the money. If I don’t keep this position, they’ll put me back at the bottom of the priority list. It’s like I would have worked my ass off for five years for nothing. Anyway, don’t get your hopes too high, okay? I know you’ve always wanted a baby and I’m sorry we can’t. I don’t think I’m pregnant, Jay.”

At this point, Jensen stands up and kisses Jared’s cheek. Maybe he’s in complete denial, or Genevieve has it all figured out wrong. Jared doesn’t know what to think.

“I’m going to get dressed while you’re gone,” Jensen says pointedly.

“Okay.”

Jared receives a pat on the shoulder, like he’s some kid who just lost a baseball game. Well, he wanted Jensen to act like himself. He sure as hell is now.

“No.”

“Look yourself, Jensen.”

“Your are shitting me. It’s... it must be defective, you should-“

“I am not going back to buy a fourth pregnancy test,” Jared states as firmly as he can.

The bathroom seems so tiny suddenly, with the both of them staring at the three positive pregnancy tests, Jared sweating so much his shirt clings to his skin and Jensen breathing loud and fast.

“So. I am. Pregnant, I mean,” Jensen finally admits, eyebrows raised in disbelief.

“Apparently,” Jared agrees.

Jensen runs a hand through his short hair, concentrating on the tests. “We’re gonna have a baby,” he says very slowly, as if testing the words coming out of his mouth.

“We are,” Jared nods. 

And then it hits him. “Oh my god, Jensen, we’re gonna have a baby! A baby of our own. I mean, the stats were so against us and now... now...”

Jensen has a small smile. “Holy shit. I need to sit.”

He does look a little pale. Jared pulls the lid of the toilet seat down and helps him sit. Jensen’s hands are shaking.

“You okay?”

“Well, I’m shocked,” Jensen admits. “I’m... I’m pregnant, Jay.”

“Yes, you are, you totally are,” Jared exclaims, feeling a rush of joy and excitement coursing through his veins. He crouches in front of Jensen and grabs his face delicately, kissing him on the mouth. Jensen’s mouth opens immediately. He laughs nervously in Jared’s.

“It’s... I don’t even know how I feel, it’s so... I never thought...” he stutters, pressing his forehead against Jared’s.

“But it’s good, right?”

“It’s surreal,” Jensen corrects. “But yeah, it’s... Wow. We made a baby, Jay.”

“Gotta call my mom, and yours... and Genevieve because I owe her twenty bucks, and we need to make an appointment with a doctor and...”

Jared knows he’s babbling. He doesn’t care. Everything that has been wrong with Jensen lately, every thing that was so worrying, so negative, it suddenly shines under a brand new light. It’s good, it’s...

“Hey,” Jensen grabs Jared’s arm when he starts to get up.

“What?”

“Weredragons don’t... They’re not mammals,” Jensen says in a shaking voice.

His eyes are still wide, not with surprise now but with panic. Jared frowns, unsure as to where the conversation is going. “Huh, no... technically.”

“You were born out of an egg,” Jensen explains with the same uneasy voice.

“Of course.”  
Jensen knows this. Jared still has a small part of his eggshell. It’s tradition. 

“Jay?”

“Yeah?”

“Remind me how it goes when a lady weredragon is pregnant and...”

“What? Well, I think... Yes, she carries the egg for six months, then she gives birth to it, and then... It’s roughly three to four months before the baby is ready and then...” 

“How does the egg comes out?” Jensen asks, his face getting paler by the second.

“She huh... Well, she has to be in her dragon form, of course, and then-“

“Oh. My. God.”

“What? Jensen, what’s it all about?”

“What’s it all about?” Jensen snorts, grabbing Jared’s shoulders. “I’m a human! What... How... Is there an egg inside me or a human fetus? Because I can’t shift to my non-existent dragon form to expulse a freaking _egg_ out of me! How’s this supposed to work? Oh my god, what are we... We know shit about a weredragon human hybrid, I can’t give birth to an egg!”

“Oh.”

Jared sits down on the cold tile floor. He never thought about the mechanics of it all. He never thought about it period. 

“Well... It has happened before, right? You’re not the first human pregnant from a weredragon, Jen. It’s... I’m sure...”

“We don’t know,” Jensen replies, his eyes impossibly wide. “And I’m probably three months along already and... oh, god.”

On this, he slides down the toilet seat, lift it up and throws up a long trickle of bile. Automatically, Jared is ready with the cold towel. 

“We need a doctor. We need to see a doctor right fucking now, a specialist,” Jensen grunts before another dry heaving spell shakes his whole body.

“Jen, I’m ...”

Jared shuts up, because he doesn’t know. He’s not sure of anything. Jensen won’t react positively to his hopes and suppositions.

“I’m gonna call my dad,” he says.

“Yeah, you do that,” Jensen agrees, his voice muffled by the toilet.

Gerry Padalecki is an influential member of the North American weredragon community. He’s been lobbying for his people most of his life, spends half of his time in Washington to represent dragons in the Were Committee. If there is a doctor that can help with a weredragon slash human pregnancy, Gerry will know.

Jared gets his mother on the phone, but doesn’t tell her anything except to ask to speak to his dad. He’s not ready to receive hysterical congratulations yet. His father promises to be discreet, but reassures Jared. Two weredragon human hybrids have been born in the past year in the U.S, and both are in good shape, as well as their parents.

“There is this doctor... He’s teaching genetics in Harvard, but I could pull some strings for him to see Jensen.”

“Yes, please.”

Jared’s father chuckles. 

“What?”

“You guys must be panicking, but this is good news, son. Congratulations. I’ll see what I can do and call you back.”

Jared is calmer when he hangs up, that is, until Jensen appears in their bedroom, his face a worrying shade of green. “I don’t want to be pregnant with an egg, Jay,” he states.

“Everything is going to be alright.”

Jensen glares at him. “You know what my granny used to tell me? When you don’t have anything intelligent to say, you better keep your mouth shut.”

“Okay,” Jared complies.

He knows when to give Jensen space. 

In the bathroom, he picks up the three pregnancy tests and stores them away for keepsake. He realises he's smiling all the while.

The next morning, Jared and Jensen find themselves in the waiting room of a young genetic obstetrician called Danneel Harris. She’s been recommended by the specialist friend of Gerry Padalecki as one of her most brilliant students, and she’s accepted to see them immediately despite her busy schedule. The bright side is her office at the Were Obstetrics Clinic is ten minutes away from their home. The downside is that even if they had an appointment with the world’s most renowned specialist, Jensen would still be grumpy and scared as hell, which isn’t a great combination.

Jared had wanted him to take the night off, which Jensen had refused, mostly, Jared thinks, to mess with him. He’d arrived home from work exhausted, snappy, and hadn’t said a word to Jared. What’s worse is that Jared thinks he might have heard Jensen crying in the shower. He feels so useless. He gets that his husband is scared: there's too much unknown right ahead of him, but isn’t he overreacting a little? They’re not the first human/dragon couple to conceive. It is possible, and if Jensen’s already is three months along, his body surely is doing everything necessary to sustain the pregnancy.

Jared is pretty sure that nothing he might say would make a difference. Sitting next to him, Jensen yawns and rubs at his eyes, then goes on with his quivering thigh nervous habit. 

Jared tries to concentrate on the four years old Reader’s Digest he’s reading, but even the story of a young puppy drowning saved by a bunch of kids passing by doesn’t take his mind off Jensen’s imminent nervous breakdown.

“Jensen Padalecki-Ackles?” The secretary calls.

Jensen bolts up from his chair so quickly it startles Jared. “Yeah?”

“Dr. Harris will see you now.”

Jensen nods and follows the secretary without even looking whether Jared is tagging along or not.

Dr. Harris is a beautiful woman in her late twenties or early thirties. She smiles at both of them as they introduce themselves, and invites them to sit in front of her desk. She says she knows very little about their situation, that Professor Olson only told her that she would have a case of dragon /human pregnancy. Jared takes care of reciting the facts, seeing how Jensen is busy biting the nails of both his thumbs alternately.

 

After he’s done, Dr. Harris warns that she has a very intimate question for them. Jared wonders what kind of question has a doctor blushing all of sudden.

“It’s... In the studies, we’ve come to realize that if an interspecies reproduction like yours is achieved, most of the time, it’s when the were is in his dragon form. I’m not judging or anything, it’s only for statistics.”

“What? You think this guy makes love to me when he’s a dragon?” Jensen’s eyes are wide, and he’s pointing at Jared like he’s some kind of freak.

“Jen, I...” Jared clears his throat. “We don’t... I know some do, but huh... I can achieve a mid-shifting form... It’s just my wings and... we sometimes...”

“Alright!” Dr. Harris claps her hands like she’s relieved the matter has been taken care of. “An early shifting stage achieves the same results.”

“Okay, I’m glad you have your statistic covered,” Jensen cuts off abruptly.” We have some worries to address. Lots of worries.”

“Let me reassure you, Mr. Ackles. If the conception of a weredragon/human hybrid is rare, the pregnancy usually follows a normal course.”

“But why am I nesting?” Jensen insists.

“Well, you probably have some weredragon genes, even if it goes back to four or six generations. Maybe more. Where were genetics are concerned, there are still a lot of unknown factors, and we wouldn’t probably find anything even with the most specialised genetic tests. That’s not the main reason, though.”

“What is?” Jensen asks in a grim voice, like he’s ready to receive incredibly bad news.

“Were genes are dominant. You are pregnant from a weredragon, and it’s your body that’s adapting to it, not the other way around. It’s the same principle that is at the genesis of the different were species. They could turn humans in the old days, you did know that, right?”

Jared shivers. That period of history is called the Blood Age, and not for nothing. When different species of shifters appeared, they had the capacity to “turn” a human into one of their own, by biting them and sharing biologic fluid. It triggered hundreds of years of savage wars between the different species as they fought for dominance, and fought humanity as well. Luckily, this capacity has been lost with time, and the last “turning” case ever registered dates back to five centuries ago.

“Oh, my god, has Jared turned me into a weredragon by knocking me up?” Jensen’s face is pale, and he looks like he’s about to throw up.

“No-no-no,” Dr. Harris says quickly. “No, nothing like that. But it’s the same principle. Your baby’s genes are dominant over your human genes, that’s why you experience symptoms usually seen only in oviparous pregnancies.”

“So I was right, I’m pregnant with an egg,” Jensen murmurs, grabbing Jared’s hand for comfort.

That’s so unlike his comportment of the last few weeks that Jared is filled with emotions. He presses his husband’s hand back. 

“Not necessarily,” the young doctor objects, smiling. “There is a fifty-fifty chance the fetus is in an egg. But let me reassure you, Mr. Ackles, if you do have an oviparous pregnancy, there is a very safe method to assure both yours and the baby’s health. We schedule a C-section at the thirtieth week of gestation and the fetus achieves its full growth safely in his egg.”

“Or it’s a human pregnancy...” Jared finishes.

“One way or another, the baby will be born in its human form, whether out of the egg or from your uterus, Mr. Ackles. I would go ahead and say that your child will be a typical weredragon because there is no known case where a were and a human birthed a child that wasn’t completely-“

“Listen,” Jensen cuts her off, voice slightly hysterical. “All of this... it’s very interesting, but can we skip to the part where you show us if I’m pregnant with an egg or a baby?”

“Yes, enough talking, right?” Dr. Harris smiles at the both of them. “Let’s move to the exam room and have your first sonogram, Mr. Ackles. This will also allow me to date your pregnancy with precision.”

Jensen refuses Jared’s help while he puts on the paper gown in the adjacent room, hidden by a curtain. Meanwhile, Dr. Harris is getting the sonogram machine ready. Jared paces in the small space that's left, getting more nervous by the second.

“My husband is a nurse in a retirement home,” Jared tells her. “He’s working nights, full time. Is this something he can keep on doing with this pregnancy?”

“Jay, I can hear you,” Jensen growls from behind the curtain.

“We, huh, can discuss it later,” Dr. Harris says, diplomatically.

Jensen lays down on his back, a cheap thin sheet covering his legs. He’s shaking slightly, his teeth chattering. Jared knows it’s not from the cold, but from nerves. He sits next to him and puts what he hopes is a reassuring hand on his shoulder. 

Dr. Harris starts by uncovering his belly and pressing her hands softly all over the lower part, nodding to herself. “Yes, I can feel your uterus, Mr. Ackles. It seems consistent with a three months pregnancy but we’ll know for sure with the sonogram. Can you lift your gown higher, please?”

Jensen complies, blushing slightly. Dr. Harris presses the skin around his nipples. Jensen winces.

“Sensitive?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s normal. The milk ducts are forming.”

“Wow,” Jared mumbles. He hadn’t noticed that Jensen’s nipples are larger and redder. It’s not that surprising, considering their lack of a sex life lately.

“Okay, now let’s get going with the ultrasound.”

Jensen closes his eyes and takes a deep, shuddering breath.

“It’s gonna be okay,” Jared tells him in a soothing voice.

Jensen doesn’t answer, doesn’t even react when Dr. Harris spreads a good amount of conductive gel below his navel, explaining that they heat it so that it’s not disagreeable for the patient.

It takes a little time before Jared can see anything on the screen other than black and grey wavering blobs. Dr. Harris presses the wand harder on Jensen’s stomach, then she smiles at Jared. “Here it is,” she says.

Jensen’s eyes open wide and he stares at Jared, then the screen. The recognizable shape of a fetus is showing on the screen, a tiny black and white bean with an enormous head. It’s not the first time Jared has seen a baby on a sonogram –his friend Lila had thrown a sonogram party when she was pregnant with her twins, and a whole bunch of her friends had to stare at the dvd recording of two little beans, “awwing” as much as it seemed necessary- but knowing that this baby is his, that he’s growing inside Jensen... It changes everything.

“Oh,” he murmurs. “Oh my god, Jensen, that’s our baby.”

Jensen stares, mouth slightly opened, his eyes bright and shining. “How could...” He swallows loudly. “How could I did not feel it, it’s... wow. That’s inside me, really?”

Dr. Harris laughs. “Yes. Let me take some measurements.”

She works on her computer, showing them the head, the legs, and the arms. She isolates the heart and the heartbeat fills the room, a loud and rapid “tump-tump-tump-tump.”

“That’s a strong heartbeat,” she declares. “Usually, weredragons fetus have a stronger, quicker heartbeat that human ones. “

“Oh,” Jared repeats. “Oh, god.”

He feels tears filling his eyes and doesn’t care. When he looks at his husband, Jensen is swallowing hard and biting his lips not to let his own tears slip.

“What... what about... Is it in an egg? How can you tell?” He asks in a shaking voice.

“No, it’s not. There is no trace of the usual markers for a shell forming. It’s in an amniotic pouch. See?”

Dr. Harris points at the moving uneven circle around the baby. There is not much to tell, Jared isn’t an expert and he has no idea what a shell would look like, but when Jensen burst out laughing nervously, hiding his face behind his hands, he stops staring at the screen.

“It’s okay, baby,” he tells him, grabbing his hand and kissing his palm. “No egg. A normal, human pregnancy.”

Jensen nods. He is still shaking.

“Hey, look at me.”

Jensen shakes his head from left to right. “No.”

“Why?”

“Cause I’m crying like a little girl,” he hiccups.

Jared laughs and wipes at his own eyes. “It’s okay, I’m crying too.”

“You always cry, it doesn’t count.” 

Dr. Harris shuts the sonogram computer screen down and leaves the room discreetly, winking at Jared.

They fight in the car on the way back home. Jared knows he should let the issue go. Jensen had gotten ready for their appointment as soon as he’d come back from work, so he hasn’t slept since he woke up yesterday, when he learned that he was pregnant.

The baby, though, the baby is Jared’s as well, and after everything Dr. Harris had told them once the ultrasound was over, he wants what’s best for Jensen and the kid. That’s why he keeps on pushing despite Jensen’s irritation.

“I know! I know I have to take care of myself, I’m freaking twenty-eight years old, Jay,” Jensen snaps.

“She said your body will keep on reacting strongly to the weredragon part of the baby. She said you need a lot of sleep, a lot of rest, and I don’t see how you can achieve that by working full time. She said the night shift is especially tough on your metabolism-“

“I. Was. There,” Jensen says slowly between clenched teeth. “If I take a paternity leave now, my health insurance will cover maybe half of my salary, and it’s a standard three months. After that, the only way I can have income is by asking for temporary disability insurance, and it’s not enough, Jay! We won’t cover our expenses like that. With a baby coming...”

“This isn’t about the money. You know we could make it work. You’ve never been so concerned about our incomes until now.”

Jensen hits the dashboard with his hand. “Maybe it isn’t about money, but it’s my life, being pregnant with your kid doesn't give you the right to decide for me.”

Jared sighs. He just doesn’t understand Jensen these days. 

“Jen. Talk to me. Please. I’m not the enemy here. I love you.”

Jared stops the car in their alley but stays seated. Jensen is immobile as well, his head lowered, his cheeks red.

“I’m scared,” he admits in a barely audible voice  
.   
“Jen-“

“Let me talk,” Jensen cuts him off softly. “You wanna know? Let me explain to you. I had made up my mind, ya’ know? Never getting pregnant was okay, we would adopt maybe a couple of kids and everything would be alright. And now, I’m... happy, don’t get me wrong. But everything is spiraling out of control and I don’t know how to deal with it. I’m exhausted, I’m snappy, the food I used to love makes me want to vomit. All I want to do is to lock myself in our bedroom and stay there, and I know it’s supposed to be... the nesting thing, but it’s so strange to me...”

Jensen shakes his head and lets out a sad? laugh. “I took the position of head nurse because I wanted to have a more stable schedule, and because I thought I was ready to take on more responsibility, and for the past six month all I've done is fight to keep it together, and it angers me, thinking that maybe this job is not for me because I worked so hard to get there, and now... It’s all mixed up, I can’t figure out what makes it so difficult: is it just the pregnancy, or is it me, you know? I’m not strong enough to do the job.”

“That’s bullshit, you’re strong. There aren’t a lot of people that would do what you do, Jensen. I’m not only talking about the schedule, I’m talking about everything this job implies. You take care of people, some of them are dying and you stay with them until the end. You change diapers of patients that used to be lawyers or teachers and you... You’re never disrespectful, you love them. And most of them don’t recognise you from the day before. I couldn't do it. It’s a freaking vocation.”

“Yeah, well... I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do. You have to give me a little time. I wasn’t supposed to be able to have a kid from my dragon husband,” Jensen smiles tentatively. “And now I’m three months pregnant, and our kid will be born on Halloween and this isn’t... it's nothing I have planned. So, major freak-out.”

Jared feels his heart melt at the pleading expression in Jensen’s eyes. _Please don’t push me too hard, I need you to understand what I’m going through,_ they say. 

So Jared bends toward Jensen and grabs his face between his hands, kisses him softly on the forehead. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Jen. I’m not the one who's pregnant. If this is a shock to me, I can’t imagine how you must feel. You’re right. Let’s take time to think about all this.”

Jensen nods and kisses Jared back. “I’m happy you know. About this...” 

With hesitation, Jensen slowly lowers his hand to his stomach. Jared smiles too, and joins his own hand. 

“That’s incredibly cheesy,” Jensen comments.

“It is,” Jared flashes his dimples. “Can we call our parents now?” 

Jensen rolls his eyes. “Yeah, you big baby, we can.”

To Be Continued...

**A/N:** Writing something like an mpreg weredragon/human takes you to funny places. I've never read fics with dragons or weredragons and if they are implied rules, I do not know them, except for the nesting part. I still know that dragons are supposed to be borned from eggs. I know that some egg-laying fics exist out there, it's totally alright, it's just not my thing. So, when I was figuring out how my story's pregnancy would work, I had to answer some questions, trying to keep true to characters and fic -hey, writing crack doesn't mean all the logic goes out the window, at least for me, it just means that the universe I create has its own sets of rules. I write crack very seriously ;-)

Anyway, I was absorbed in the pseudo science of it all, then I came t think: wait. Jared was born from an egg. Does it mean he didn't have an ombilical cord, and therefore lacks a navel? When I realized I was in deep on wikipedia reading articles after articles on bird and lizard reproduction, I stopped. Too much! Woman, you're telling a story about a _man being pregnant from a were dragon_ and somehow you're trying to write a thesis on oviparous versus mammal pregnancy? Enough. :D So, yes, Jared has a navel, because he's not really an oviparous, he's a man with the hability to change into a dragon. Because a man without a navel would be a little freaky (anybody ever saw the movie "The Brood" by Cronenberg?) And if I, by mistake, at any point of the story I did not follow the pre-established rules of a were universe, I am sorry. 

I'm glad we clear that up. ;-)


	3. Chapter 3

It’s two in the morning and the night is dark: a few stars, the sound of the wind howling against the windows: the Whispering Willows Nursing home is located on a hill - it's always windy.

Jensen is sitting at his desk, a small room behind the nursing station that’s currently empty. It’s time for the second round of the night for the two orderlies he’s working with. Felicia is doing the first floor, with the more autonomous patients. Briana is taking care of the second floor, the one where the main nursing station -Jensen’s- is actually located. So far, the night has been quiet. 

Jensen is working on a file about a wound care he just did. His lower back aches lightly. Some of the bed aren’t electric and can’t be lifted to accommodate the cares needed, so Jensen spent the last half hour bent over Mr. Hanson’s left leg, disinfecting an ulceration.

Two weeks has passed since he learned he was pregnant. At the end of each shift, he swears to himself that he’ll talk to his boss, ask for a lighter, daytime schedule, and the hell with his position. Then he changes his mind at least six times on his way home. He tries to look well and in good shape in front of Jared, but he knows he’s not fooling anyone.

Sometimes Jensen has trouble understanding why he’s being so stubborn about keeping his regular schedule, even with the pregnancy taking its toll on him. And god, is it ever. He always feels cold, yet slightly feverish, he has trouble eating, trouble sleeping. He wakes up several times during his sleep, grabbing frantically at the covers, blankets, and pillows around him, constantly rearranging them, and then he stops all of sudden and wonders what he’s actually doing.

Being pregnant is making him a little crazy. Jensen’s in love with the little thing inside of him, but at the same time, he feels so lost and confused with everything that’s changing in his body and mind that he has trouble feeling the pure excitement knowing that in a few months, Jared and he will have a daughter or a son. They will be a family. It’s something they had hoped for, but in a different way and Jensen, well...

...Truly, he knows why he’s trying so hard to keep a normal life rhythm. He doesn’t need a psychologist to tell him that he tries to hold onto anything that’s normal in his life, anything that has the reassuring resonance of a routine, of things he does and knows. Even if it’s holding to his job like his life depends on it. Jensen loves his job –the night position, he’s not so sure about, but he wanted to be a nurse ever since he was a teenager and it hasn’t changed. Still, he’s never been the kind of career person that puts his job in front of everything else, and it’s ridiculous, even to his own eyes, how much he fights to prove to himself he can do it; even pregnant, even with an heavy, exclusively night-shift schedule.

Likewise, Jensen understands perfectly why Jared keeps bringing it up, no matter how subtle he tries to be. Snapping at his husband on every single occasion isn’t something Jensen used to do, and he doesn’t like the man he is these days. 

This morning. Before going home, he’ll wait for his boss to arrive and talk to her.

Maybe.

...Or maybe it can wait another week or so. Jensen’s pregnancy is barely visible, and only for those who know. He’s 15 weeks along, at the very beginning of his second trimester. Some people work until they reached the ninth month, after all.

Jensen grabs his thick cotton hoodie on the back of his chair and puts it on. It’s old and purple, overall ugly, but it’s comfortable and warm. The light blue scrubs he’s wearing have short sleeves, and are made of a light polyester fabric –easier to wash and maintain, but they don’t do anything for Jensen’s apparent new trouble with regulating his body temperature.

“Hey,” Briana knocks on the open door and smiles at him. “You okay?”

“Yeah, just cold,” Jensen answers. “Everyone’s sleeping?”

“No, that’s why I came to get you. Mrs. Campbell locked herself in her room, again.”

Jensen rolls his eyes and gets up. Mrs. Campbell is a new patient, suffering from the intermediate stages of Alzheimer. It’s the worst moment to introduce someone to a new place. Loretta Campbell is persuaded she’s been kidnapped. She’s 88 years old, must weight 90 pounds wet, and she’s not really aggressive, just suspicious and lost. 

“I think she must have pushed something against the door,” Briana explains. 

Jensen knocks. “Mrs. Campell?”

“Go away, I’m calling the police,” the old woman says.

Jensen pushes on the door. It moves a little. He knows the only thing that Mrs. Campbell could have possibly move to block the door is the cheap dresser near the entrance. Using his shoulder, Jensen applies a steady pressure and, sure enough, the door opens slowly but steadily.

Mrs. Campbell is standing behind her bed, looking fierce despite her short, thin frame. She holds a potted plant in her hands. As soon as she sees Jensen, she throws it in his direction.

It’s not the first time Jensen has been physically hurt by a confused patient, but Mrs. Campbell's throw is deceptively firm. Jensen lifts one of his arms just in time to protect himself. The pot is a ceramic one, it doesn’t break, but the soil flies everywhere, gets in his eyes and his face. Surprised, he backs up one step, colliding with Briana.

“Oh my god, Jensen are you okay?” 

He nods, rubbing at his eyes. “Take care of Mrs. Campbell.”

Jensen can feel the assisting nurse walk pass him, saying in a soothing voice. “Mrs. Campbell, that’s not very nice of you.”

“I just wanna go home,” the woman replies in a desperate voice. “Why don’t you people let me go back home?”

Jensen opens his eyes. They’re burning and itching, but he knows he’ll be alright. He sees that Briana has the situation under control and he won’t have to call the security guard. That is something he tries to avoid as much as he can. Alzheimer patients aren’t violent by nature. They’re just lost, and right now, all Jensen feels is pity for the poor woman who doesn’t understand why she’s not living at her own place anymore, and why strangers are now taking care of her.

All the fight is gone from Mrs. Campbell’s face, and she lets Briana seat her on her bed, repeating over and over again. “I just wanna go home, just wanna go home.”

“I’ll send you Felicia with an Ativan,” Jensen tells Brianna, who nods, rubbing soothing circles on Mrs. Campbell’s back. 

He walks back to the nurse station, covered in dirt and some unknown plant leaves. He’ll ask Felicia to take the broom with her. Now, he needs to rinse his face and look at his arm.

It’s only when he reaches the desk that he realises there is a long cut just below his elbow, and that his ugly hoodie and pants are scattered with droplets of blood. He curses. He’s probably going to need stitches.

Grabbing a clean towel so as not to bleed everywhere, Jensen protects the cut and calls Felicia on the walkie-talkie they use to communicate. He tells her what he wants her to do and ends the conversation quickly.

He’s calm. He’s a professional. This is far from the strangest incident that ever happened to him. 

Jensen is washing his hands in the sink near the nurse station when a sudden thought hits him. 

_The baby._

If he hadn’t stretched his arms forward to protect himself, the ceramic pot would have hit him right in the belly.

But it didn’t, Jensen tries to reason. Why is it so hard to breathe suddenly and why is his heart pounding so hard against his chest that it actually hurts. He holds onto the sink and gulps another enormous gasp of air, but it doesn’t help. All it does is trigger a flight of shooting stars in front of his irritated eyes. 

“Jensen?” Someone calls him.

And he wants to answer, he really does, but all he can do is collapse slowly on the ground.

The phone is ringing.

Jared grunts. 

The phone is ringing. How irritating. The phone has no business ringing in the middle of the night, he’s sleeping.

Wait.

Jared jerks awake and blindly grabs his cellphone on the bedside table. _Let Jensen be alright_ , he thinks immediately. _Please let Jensen be alright._

“Yeah?” He answers, turning the night light on.

“Jay? Can you come and get me?”

Jensen’s voice is thin, the words a little slurred. Jared is already up, looking at his watch. It’s a quarter past four.

“Jensen? You okay? Where are you? Is the baby...”

“The baby’s fine,” Jensen cuts him out. “I’m okay, I’m at work. I just don’t think I should drive right now.”

“What happened?”

Jared is jumping on one foot, trying to put his jeans on while holding his phone. All he hears is a long sigh at the end of the line.

“Jen?”

“Apparently I had a panic attack.” The words are barely audible. “Now, can you come and get me?”

“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”

Jared hangs up and finishes dressing himself, trying not to worry too much. Jensen has been under a lot of stress lately. He’s never had a panic attack before but hey, he’s never been pregnant before. It can’t be that bad, can it?”

It’s pretty bad.

Jensen gets in the car in silence while Jared assesses the damages. His face is pale –not only pale, but cartoon-character white except for two red spots on his cheeks. He has what looks like dried dirt over one eyebrow, the same stuff on his scrubs pants, along with other brown stains Jared’s not sure he wants to know about. Jensen is holding his ugly purple hoodie in his arms, and it’s only when he stretches to buckle his seatbelt that Jared sees the thick white bandage wrapped around his left arm. He suddenly understands that the brown stains on Jensen's scrubs are dried blood.

“Jesus, Jensen, what happened? What's with your arm? Do you need to go to the hospital or...”

“No, I don’t need a hospital,” Jensen says in a calm voice but in the same time, he carefully avoids looking at Jared. “It’s been taken care of. Why don’t you drive us home, and I’ll fill you in.”

Jared nods and starts the car. The streets are empty, the sky slowly shifting from dark blue to a lighter tone. It’s going to be a warm day, Jared can tell.

“So, a patient was confused and threw this... potted plant at me,” Jensen explains after a couple of minutes of silence. “I lifted my arms to protect myself and the ceramic pot cut me. That’s all. I needed a few stitches, Kim did them.”

“Kim? What, you guys are two head nurses at night now?”

Jared knows Tina is the evening shift head nurse. Jensen had applied for the position, but Tina had been working there longer than him and got it.

“I called her... Well, Felicia did. Anyway, I’m fine,” Jensen murmurs, looking out the window.

“I don’t understand. What does a panic attack has to do with all this? Jensen?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m getting to it,” Jensen sighs. “It’s... I don’t know, Jay. This thing happened with Mrs. Campbell and I was fine, and then I... thought about the fact that if I hadn’t lifted my arms, I would’ve been hit right in the stomach. Right... Well... You know.”

“Oh. Jen.”

“Please don’t _Jen_ me!” Jensen snaps with irritation. “I don’t know what happened really. One minute I was fine, and then the other I was laying on my back and Fel was lifting my feet. She said I almost passed out, had a panic attack. This is... god, this is ridiculous.”

Jensen runs a hand through his hair, something he does when he’s embarrassed. 

“You were scared for the baby.”

“Yeah...” Jensen trails off. “Don’t say it, okay?”

Jared frowns at him, confused. “Say what?”

“That this job is dangerous and that I’m a selfish bastard that put your kid in danger for no other reason than my fucking pride.”

“What? Jensen, I would never think that.”

Jensen mumbles something. 

“Come again?”

“Well, I do,” Jensen repeats very slowly. “You were right about everything. The job is too tough right now, and there is no way I can do it without risk. I’m working with senile people. Some of them are aggressive. And that...that's without counting the germs. A pregnant person's immune system is less effective, patients are sick, and I can’t count the number of times they've puked or sneezed or downright spit on me.”

Jared is split between amusement and disgust. “O-kay...”

“We’re gonna have a kid, that’s great, and I’m there angsting like a tween, working beyond exhaustion, risking our baby’s health and being a jerk to you.”

“Jensen. You’re not a jerk, and you couldn’t predict this woman would throw something to you. And I’m sure you’re exaggerating the other stuff.”

There. Jared can be the logical, down-to-earth person in this couple. He didn’t think about what Jensen’s job exposed him to either. All he could see was his husband’s exhaustion.

“New plan,” Jensen announces as if Jared hasn’t said anything. “We get home, I get some sleep, then I come back here to meet my boss and ask for a very long paternity leave.”

“You sure about that?” 

Jensen had been all over the place, emotionally speaking, since before they knew about the baby. Jared fears Jensen will regret the decision after meeting with his boss. He wants what’s best for the baby, and what’s best for his husband. He doesn’t want Jensen getting hurt at work at all, but what if he spends the next six months regretting his decision, worrying about money, about his professional future?

“This panic attack was my mind and my body telling me to slow down,” Jensen murmurs. “Trust me, it was no fun, and I prefer not to experience it again any time soon. We’ve always wanted a family, Jared. It’s time I do what’s necessary for it to happen; it’s time I make our baby my first and only priority.”

“You do, Jensen. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself.”

“Ah!, that’s what I did,” Jensen says like he’s just had an epiphany. “Not anymore, Jay.”

::: :::

Jared helps Jensen clean himself without wetting his bandage and helps him to bed, not even blinking when Jensen asks him if he could get the decorative cushions on the couch for him. There is literally no other comforter, blanket, pillows or cushions anywhere else in the house. They’re all in their bedroom now, and Jensen always takes his time arranging them correctly all around himself before he settles to sleep. It’s cute. It’s adorable. Jared’s husband blinks sleepily at him, his face still pale, and his vulnerability twists Jared’s heart a little. 

“You’re not coming back to bed?”

“Nah. It’s almost five. I don’t think I’ll be able to get back to sleep.”

“Sorry for all this,” Jensen whispers. “Really.”

“Nothing to be sorry for. Just get some rest.”

“Alright. See you tonight. Don’t worry, I’ll grab a cab to go to the Willows.”

Jared exits the room and closes the door behind him. He’s not planning to go to work today. He just needs to wait until a decent hour to call Genevieve. Something tells him Jensen is going to need him after talking to his boss.

::: :::

Jared has just hung up with Genevieve, at seven o’clock ( _seriously, Jay? I still had half an hour of snooze, this better be good_ ) when he hears some noise coming from their bedroom. He knocks at the door and when he doesn’t get any response, he opens the door softly.

Jensen is sitting in bed, scratching at his bandage, looking half awake. He's breathing quickly, his chest rising fast.

“Jen?”

“’m fine. Nightmare,” Jensen mumbles, shifting around to get the pillows and cushions closer to him. “Why is it always so cold?”

“It’s not. Dr. Harris told us, remember?” 

This impression of cold comes from the fetus. Weredragon babies consume a lot of heat, even before their birth, resulting in the pregnant human having more trouble regulating his or her body temperature. This, of course, is a problem specific to this kind of interspecies pregnancy.

“Well, I am cold,” Jensen says, pouting, something he would never do if he would be totally awake. “You, huh... you’re not at work?”

“Nah,” Jared brushes it off. “It’s supposed to be quiet today, I decided to stay here. Listen, Jensen, I can turn the heat on, but-“

“Not what I need. “ Jensen ruffles his hair and yawns impossibly wide. When he looks up at Jared, he has this hesitant expression on his face. “Could you huh... shift?”

“Like, all the way?” Jared asks.

“You freaking radiate heat when you’re in your dragon form,” Jensen explains. “Come on, come lie in bed with me.”

“I don’t even know if I’m going to fit.” Jared says, but he’s starting to undress already, feeling his muscles twitching because he’s barely thinking about shifting. 

Weredragons aren’t even close to the size of the dragons described in legends, and whenever someone asks about it, Jared explains that an adult weredragon is the size and a half of a large feline. Still, with the wings and the tail, it’s not easy to move in a room this size.

Jensen is still looking expectantly at him, though, so Jared finishes undressing and kneels on the floor, letting the metamorphosis happen, in fact barely feeling it, because he’s so used to it. 

“Beautiful,” Jensen whispers in awe, with the same exact expression he's has since the first time he’d seen Jared shift.

Jared steps carefully on the bed, keeping his tail relaxed and his wings plastered against his back. It’s a tight fit, but he wraps himself around Jensen, replacing the pillows and cushions. Jensen smiles at him and scratches the tender scales under Jared’s long muzzle, where the skin is so sensitive. Then he lies back down, turns on his side and wraps an arm around Jared’s middle.

“You are hot, in every sense of the word,” he says, quirking an eyebrow. 

Jared lets out his forked tongue and licks a stripe on Jensen’s cheek, smiling –as much as he can anyway- when his husbands frown and pushes his face away.

“You know I hate that. Your tongue is freaking harsh, man.”

Jared just sighs through his large nostrils. He’s almost comfortable; as long as he doesn’t move, he won’t fall off the bed. Jensen is asleep less than ten minutes later.

The Staff Director at the Whispering Willows is a man called Jeffrey Dean Morgan. Jared has never met him, but according to Jensen, he’s fair. Still, Jared has been waiting for nearly half an hour, sitting on a too-small chair under a secretary’s constant gaze, like they’re at some secret facility and she’s scared Jared is a spy.

He does look nervous. And he is. For Jensen. And god damn it, half an hour is comparable to eternity when you’re waiting. He told his husband he was coming with him so that Jensen could pick his own car, but it’s more than that. He’s worried things aren’t going to go well.

The door finally opens. Jensen comes out, smiling. Jared feels a weight lifting off his shoulders, takes a deep breath, smiles too.

“How did it go?”

“It was okay,” Jensen says, grabbing the hand Jared is holding out to him. “I’m... relieved, Jay. It was a good decision.”

They walk out of the office and into the long corridor that leads to the exit. Jensen has a small, knowing smile, like he’s thinking about something funny.

“What?”

“Morgan. He’s a were-eagle. Have I told you that?”

“No. I thought they were extinct.”

“Well, there aren’t a lot left. Which means Morgan’s wife is human. Were-eagles and humans have trouble conceiving –not as much as weredragons, but it’s still not easy. He told me about his wife and their three kids, and how during each pregnancy she would show all those signs typical to were-eagles nesting. Anyway, long story short, he was very sympathetic to my case.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes. He’s giving me a year before officially offering my position to someone else. By then, the baby will be three months old, and I guess we’ll figure out where to go from there. If I decide to take longer, I will still be on the employee list, except, well, at the bottom. He can’t do better, and it’s a miracle I didn’t just lose my job.”

“That’s good, right?”

“It is.” Jensen scratches the back of his head. “I’ll start right now on the paternity leave, which will give me time to apply for a temporary disability allowance. It’s not ideal, but I guess we can work it out.”

“You look... relieved,” Jared says, unable to hide his surprise. 

“I am,” Jensen admits. “Morgan’s wife, her first two pregnancies were oviparous, but the last was like mine. He said she would get overly protective, very stressed, had those emotional ups and downs. The fact that she couldn’t protect the egg but only herself was confusing for her. So yes, if I’m going to go in overprotective mode, working as a nurse here isn’t the best place to do it.”

“Ah, come on, I’m sure-“

Jared stops suddenly, seeing an old man walking straight toward them at a quick pace. Both of his fists are closed, and he seems pissed. Seriously pissed. As he comes closer, Jared can hear him mumbling, “Fucker, you fucker, gonna kill you fucker, you cunt you-“

He’s coming for Jensen. And the baby. What the hell is this place? His husband has stitches from being attacked hours earlier, and now this crazy-looking guy is coming straight at them, and the baby.

Jared hears clothes tearing, feels a sudden sharp pain on the top of his head and blinks, confused.

He’s not touching the ground. He’s trying to stretches his wings in the too small space, snarling at the man who’s plastered against the wall, looking scared beyond words, shaking all over.

And something is tugging at one of his foot. Jared looks down and sees Jensen, eyes wide with surprise.

“Jared, what the hell? What the hell, man, shift back now!”

Jared doesn’t understand. He’s never shifted unconsciously since he hit puberty. The urge is there sometimes, but it’s easy to get it under control. And now, here he’s in full dragon form, gathering attention quickly. The man isn’t alone on the corridor anymore: other people come to see what it’s all about and Jared can hear footsteps behind him.

“Jared!” Jensen repeats louder.

Without thinking, Jared shifts back so quickly he finds himself half sitting, half lying on the ground, naked as the day he was born.

“Oh, shit,” he murmurs, trying to hide his manhood.

“What the fuck?” Jensen grabs a folded sheet on a cart nearby and gives it to Jared, while announcing to whomever is watching them. “It’s okay, it’s my husband Jared, we’re fine.”

“That was hot,” a feminine voice declares, which makes Jared hide under the sheet, feeling his cheeks burn like he’s still in dragon form.

“Nice, Janice, can you get Mr. Sampson into the common room?” Jensen replies easily, the shadow of a smile crinkling at the corner of his eyes.

“I tore my clothes,” Jared complains.

“Even your shoes,” Jensen agrees, helping him up. “Come on.”

He pushes Jared through a door nearby that turns out to be a small supply room.

“Are you okay?” Jensen asks, concerned, dragging a strand of hair away from Jared’s face.

“That... This old man he was coming right at you and I felt... The hell, Jensen, I don’t know what happened, I didn’t realize.”

“Well, you untameable beast, Mr. Sampson is inoffensive. Parkinson and Tourette syndrome makes him seem a little special. Wait...”

Jensen turns on his heels and shuffles through a plastic drawer. “Okay. I don’t have anything larger,” he adds, giving Jensen Jared a pair of scrubs pants and a shirt.

“It hasn't happened to me ever since I was fourteen!” Jared complains. “And why the hell do you find it so funny?”

For a were, shifting accidentally is very humiliating, and Jared starts to get annoyed at Jensen’s attitude.

“Hey, calm down,” Jensen says in the same too compliant voice. “It happens.”

“It’s like you’re trying to make me feel better because I came too soon,” Jared snaps, which has Jensen laughing out loud. 

Despite his frustration, Jared realizes how long it’s been since he’s seen Jensen laugh that freely. He can’t help but smile a little.

“It’s just... You know, it’s reassuring, knowing that I’m not the only one doing crazy stuff since I’m pregnant. Makes me feel a little better about myself.”

“Oh, well, if tearing my clothes apart and scaring that poor Mr. Sampson could help.” Jared shrugs.

Jensen grabs his face and kisses him quickly. “So you can grab whatever’s left of your clothes. Think I saw your car keys too, and your wallet, so don’t forget them. I have to take my own car, think you’ll be alright?” 

“Jen, I’m barefoot,” Jared growls.

“It’s the month of May, you won’t die! Although maybe...Wait for me here.”

That’s how Jared finds himself walking toward the exit with too short scrubs, wearing a pair of hospital socks and trying not to look too obvious. Jensen follows right behind, snickering, and then when the old Mr. Sampson sees them pass through the common, he points at Jared and yells: “Fucking dragon!,” Jared kinds of wants to become invisible.

Jensen is still laughing, though, a clear sign that Jared doesn’t understand what his husband calls hospital humor. It could be worse, he guesses, turning back show Jensen the finger as soon as they’re outside. Jensen keeps smiling.

“All in all, it’s been a good day,” Jensen says, patting Jared on the back. “I can’t wait for your sister’s next visit, I bet the tale of you shifting like this will amuse her. A lot.”

“Then wait until I tell Josh you had a panic attack,” Jared counters.

“Okay...” Jensen grunts. “You keep your mouth shut, I do the same.”

They both know they won’t be able to keep their word. And despite everything, yes, it’s been kind of a good day. Going crazy together because they’re having a baby, Jared thinks, amused... It’s probably what all parents-to-be go through anyway.

To be continued...

_A/N: As most of you know, I'm a nurse. Nothing I tell about Jensen's experience in a nursing home is an exageration -as a matter of fact, I toned it down so it wouldn't seem unrealistic ;-)_


	4. Chapter 4

Jensen feels better as soon as he starts his paternity leave. Getting back to a normal schedule is easy: his body is made to be awake during the day and sleeping during the night, after all, so all it takes is a few days back in that routine. And then there is this period of bliss, cuddling with Jared at night time before they fall asleep together, waking up with him in the morning. Jensen sleeps so much better now, he feels more energetic than he has in six months.

Jared seems so relieved to see him doing better that it makes Jensen feels guilty: all the fuss he made about keeping his job while pregnant seems ridiculous to him now. He tries to make it up to Jared in any way possible. And yes, this includes a lot of sex. Jensen’s sexual appetite is back with a vengeance. When they make love, Jared spends an obsessive amount of time caressing the tiny baby bump that is swelling under his navel. Jensen makes fun of him. Jared shrugs it off and goes back to stroking and kissing his belly.

At the beginning of June, they have an appointment with Dr. Harris, and they learn they’ll have a little boy. Jared is ecstatic, Jensen doesn’t mind whether it's a boy or girl, as long as the baby’s healthy. 

Dr. Harris asks about Jensen’s nesting habits. 

“I think it’s under control,” Jensen answers.

Jared tries to stifle a laugh. Jensen rolls his eyes at him. “What?”

“Our bedroom is filled with everything in the house that can be used for Jensen’s nest. It’s a miracle I can find him in bed amongst all those blankets and pillows.”

“Shut up, it’s not that bad.”

“It’s not bad, it’s just... cute.”

Jensen kinds of want to punch Jared’s huge grin away. He’s not cute. He isn’t.

“Well, it’s part of the pregnancy and it’s normal,” Dr. Harris explains. “If you have those urges to build a nest, don’t resist them, Jensen.”

Jensen shakes his head. “I don’t even realize I’m doing it.”

“Yes, it’s called instinct. Just like Jared’s involuntarily shifting. I know those changes can be difficult to put up with, but I don’t want you guys to worry about it, alright? Jensen, in the second trimester, you will probably feel the need to eat differently -more red meat, spicy meals, just like weredragons prefer a certain category of food. This isn’t something you have to worry about either.”

“I don’t eat a lot of red meat now, and so far, nothing has changed,” Jensen declares. He doubts he’s going to start craving beef. He’s not a meat lover, never has been. And if Dr. Harris looks at him with a knowing, almost amused look, well... he’s just going to ignore it.

“Well, if you experience any symptoms that are bothering you, you have my personal phone number so don’t hesitate to call. I’ll see you next month.”

Jensen nods. He doesn’t think of any reasons he would need to do it, though. To tell the truth, he’s never felt better.

Usually, Jared takes two weeks off in July, the same time as Jensen does, so they can spend their vacation together. This year, they talked about it and decided against it. Jared wants to take a whole month off when their baby is born. It's a perk of being his own boss. Genevieve says there is no problem, but he’s aware of the pressure he’s putting on her, so yeah... no summer holidays for him.

Jensen says he doesn’t mind. Jared would have thought his husband would have found it harder to stay home by himself. Jensen has been working full time ever since they met each other. Whenever he had a free day, he liked to go out, run errands, do all the things Jared hates like grocery shopping or buying new clothes. Jensen doesn’t mind any of it.

At least, he didn’t. Jared had thought he would have been out and about more often after the beginning of his paternity leave, but Jensen suddenly seems to be content just staying home. Last week, Jared actually had to coax him into going grocery shopping with him, because as absurd as it may sound, although Jared is the one that cooks their meals, most of the time he relies on Jensen to buy what’s needed. Maybe nesting isn’t just piling up pillows and comforters, maybe it extends to the house as well. Jared tries not to point that out to Jensen, since the nesting thing makes him embarrassed, god knows why.

When Jared gets home that Thursday afternoon, he finds Jensen and Briana sitting in the backyard. Brianna wears a short summer dress. It’s been hot today, it was hell in the kitchen, even for Jared and Genevieve who aren’t much affected by it. 

Jensen wears jeans, a t-shirt and a shirt. He looks perfectly comfortable, while Briana’s forehead is covered in small droplets of sweat. Jared shakes his head. It’s hard to believe that Jensen needs so many layers to keep warm. The air conditioner hasn’t been turned on, as it usually is when May comes. 

“Hey Jay, I was telling Jensen how a great cook you were,” Brianna announces, standing up to kiss him on the cheek.

Jared burst out laughing. “Do you want to have dinner with us, Bri?”

“How did you guess?” She winks at him.

Jared kisses the top of Jensen’s head. “And how was your day?

“Quiet. I think I felt the baby move.”

“Really?”

“... or it was just indigestion, I’m not sure,” Jensen declares, very down to earth. 

“Well, next time-“

“Yes, I’ll tell you, and you won’t feel anything. But I’ll definitely tell you,” Jensen smiles at him.

During dinner, Brianna asks them if they have started working on the baby’s room, which, they haven’t yet. Jensen explains he’s in no hurry, since he plans of having their son sleep with them for the first three months, at least. It takes Jared by surprise because they haven’t talked about it. Jensen goes on about close contact parenting, co-sleeping, wearing your baby instead of using a stroller, and Jared has no idea what it’s all about. He keeps it to himself until later that night, when Brianna is gone and Jensen is taking a bath.

A hot bath. Jensen used to hate taking baths. Not anymore. Jared has trouble seeing him through the steam as he sits on the floor, wincing while folding his legs. It’s way too hot. It can’t be healthy. But here’s Jensen, looking positively blissful, his eyes reduced to slits, one hand resting lazily on the small swell of his belly.

“So,” Jared clears his throat. “What is this co-sleeping stuff you were talking about?”

“It’s great. We can buy this crib and attach it to the side of the bed so the baby will be right there next to me, and it’s way more secure than having him sharing our bed.”

“Where does that come from?”

Jensen frowns at him. “Well… Why not? I mean, it’s supposed to reinforce the attachment between the baby and us. And if I’m breastfeeding…”

“You don’t know if you’ll produce enough milk, Jen.”

“Why do you look so annoyed?”

Jared doesn’t really know. He just feels… left out. “These things, we’re supposed to talk about it together. I mean, it’s our baby.”

“I…” Jensen stops, just like he realized something. He drags a hand over his face and sighs. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“This nesting thing is hitting you hard, dude,” Jared adds, smiling.

It’s Jensen’s turn to seems put out. “It’s not nesting, it’s… Why do you always smile like I’m some kind of idiot whenever you talk about it?”

“I don’t-“

“Hell, Jared, you think it’s easy? I’m trying to adapt, you know? To everything, and you… you think it’s cute that I need a freaking hot bath when it’s 80 degree outside? Or that I have to physically restrain myself not to take our bathroom towels to add to the pile that’s already ridiculous in our bedroom? I think I’m doing a damn good job of not freaking out on you constantly, so stop acting like I’m adorably crazy!”

“Hey, whoa, sorry,” Jared rises to his knees. He’s such an idiot. Jensen is right: he’s been doing so good since he stopped working. Every change he’s been going through since the beginning of the pregnancy is dealt with calmly and reasonably. He’s always in a good mood, brushing off the quirks and strange habits he’s came to adopt. And Jared, well, maybe he did it on purpose, teasing him about the nesting once more. Maybe he’s scared of Jensen taking all the decisions, getting to carry their child, preparing for its birth, thinking forward. Because he doesn’t feel like he’s a part of it. Not as much as he’d like to.

Jensen is pulling the drain stopper and sitting up, his face unreadable.

“I need to get out, now.”

“Jensen, I’m sorry, I really am.”

Jared stands up and moves away from the bath. Jensen grabs a towel while standing up and wraps it over his shoulders. “We don’t have to, you know, the crib in our room and… the attachment parenting stuff,” he murmurs. “It was just an idea.”

“It’s a good idea.”

Jared takes a step forward and wraps his arms around Jensen’s shoulders. Jensen tenses but doesn’t pull back. “Whatever you want, Jensen. I just wish I could… feel things the way you feel them.”

“Oh, god, then let’s swap places for a day so that I can feel like myself again,” Jensen jokes weakly. “I just… those ideas I have, they’re strong. Sometimes it’s scary as hell, thinking about how much I want to protect the baby, how important it is to get everything ready and perfect. I can’t ignore any of it. I just know deep down it’s right. Fuck, I’m not myself anymore.”

“Then talk to me, please, just a little more, just… let me know.”

Jensen lifts his head. “Jay? It makes me feel a little like an idiot, and you find it cute and I hate that, so… I don’t really feel like sharing when I have an urge to pile up the cushion prettily.”

“I didn’t think being cute was an insult.”

Jensen lifts an eyebrow.

“Okay, I get it. But even if you have the impression I'm treating all of this like a joke I'm really not. I know how overwhelming it must be, and it’s all because of me. I’m the dragon here.”

“Really?” Jensen smiles. “I never would have thought.” He then takes a serious expression. “I get it too. I’ll try to share more if you want me to.”

“I really do,” Jared slides a hand under the towel and let it rest on the swell of Jensen’s ass. “Like, right now, wanna share this hot body of yours for a little while.”

“Because I’m horny, I’ll ignore the cheesy pun,” Jensen deadpans.

The interspecies prenatal group is Genevieve’s idea, and as soon as Jared asks Jensen if he’d be interested, he gets an enthusiastic nod. The first class they attend is on the second week of July. It’s not a typical prenatal class. The first half an hour, an OB nurse comes to answer questions and gives some general information. The second part is dedicated to discussion amongst the participants, administered by a psychologist specializing in were relationships and reproduction. Jared and Jensen are the only new participants that week, and the first thing the psychologist -a tall bearded man who goes by his first name, Tim- does is to ask them to introduce themselves.

Jared and Jensen exchange a look, Jensen clearly indicating that he would prefer if Jared took the lead. Jared clears his throat and smile nervously at the other couples. 

“I’m Jared, I’m a weredragon, and this is my husband Jensen. He’s not a were, we huh… we were pleasantly surprised to learn about Jensen’s pregnancy. He’s due October 30.”

A murmur runs amongst the other participants and they get some wows and some smiles too. Jared feels ridiculously proud. He grabs Jensen’s hand and holds it tight while his husband is busy staring at his feet, red to the tip of his ears.

Afterward, Tim suggests they split in groups at their convenience while he circulates amongst them. There is a table in the corner with fruits, doughnuts, milk and decaf. Tim invites them to serve themselves. Awkwardly, because they don’t know anybody, Jared and Jensen go straight for the catering table. Jensen grabs a doughnut. “What are we supposed to do now?” he asks in a low voice.

Jared doesn’t have time to answer. A couple is coming toward them. The woman is pregnant, young looking and pretty, with strawberry blond hair. The man is more withdrawn, and with just one look at his serious, almost contemplative face, Jared knows he’s a weredragon. He can’t explain it. He just knows.

“Hey, I’m Amy, and this is my husband, Jason. He’s a weredragon, I’m a weretiger. We’re expecting our daughter in October, a couple of weeks before you guys.”

They shake hands. Jared has never met a weretiger before. They tend to stay in the south, where the weather is warmer. 

“Congratulations,” Jensen says, looking at Amy with curiosity. “Do you mind me asking how…” he lets out a nervous laugh and scratches the back of his head. “How it all works?”

Amy smiles. “Well, we didn’t know if the baby would take after me or Jason, but apparently, weredragon genes are dominant in most cases of interspecies pregnancies, so our daughter will most probably be a dragon. I… I have an oviparous pregnancy and I’ve been experiencing symptoms that are specific to weredragon breeding. Nesting and stuff. So… yeah. If everything goes well, we’ll have the egg taken out surgically next month.”

She presses a protective hand on her belly. “You guys must be thrilled, right? Human and weredragon pregnancy are quite rare.”

“Yes, we were very, very surprised,” Jensen says, looking way more at ease suddenly. “We’re having a little boy and huh… It’s a human pregnancy. No egg.”

“Wow, I thought it was always an egg. What about the nesting?”

“Well, I’m a… a little out of control,” Jensen admits, shoving his hands in his pockets.

Amy burst out laughing. Jared doesn’t quite realize how it happens, but five minutes later, he’s discussing his catering business with Jason while Jensen and Amy are sitting in a corner, laughing and murmuring to each other like old friends. Jason casts them an amused look.

“Amy’s been quite worried since she’s gotten pregnant. Her family is in California, and having a kid with a weredragon isn’t exactly common. Look at her. I haven't seen her that comfortable in weeks.”

“Well, Jensen seems to be enjoying this as well. I’m glad.”

“You know,” Jason lays back against the wall, “I don’t know if you have seen family members caring for an egg, but Amy won’t get away from it once it’s out. Scares me a little. I remember my mom barely getting out of her room when she was watching over my little sis. I was terrified. Each time I would come to see her, she was in her dragon form, wrapped around the egg in her nest, and then she would shift, but for a second or two, it was like she was ready to set me on fire.”

“Wow.” Jared tries to take everything Jason has just told me. He doesn’t remember Megan’s birth or the nesting period before it, and he’s never been close to a pregnant weredragon. He wonders what this will mean for Jensen. 

“I huh… Jensen has changed. He’s nesting but… You know, with no egg? What will it do to him?” 

“It’s always a little more difficult in those cases,” Tim joins the conversation, seemingly coming out of nowhere. He’s tall, almost as tall as Jared, with a grey beard and long, curly grey hair. He looks more like a long-time recluse freshly out of the woods than a psychologist. “What is usually seen is a tendency to stay indoor, a reluctance to go out, especially amongst crowds or crowded place. The need tends to get stronger as the pregnancy progress. Your husband, Mr. Padalecki, will most probably want to nest what’s inside of him, which can be tricky.”

“Will it… will it be hard on him?”

“I’m speculating here, of course,” Tim shrugs, then addresses Jared a quick smile. “It depends. It’s stronger for certain people while others just go on with their usual daily activities, unfazed. It does trigger a lot of anxiety, if your husband has a tendency toward it. And you say he’s already nesting?”

“Yes… And he doesn’t go out as much as he did.”

“When did the nesting start? Early in the pregnancy?”

“That’s actually what tipped us thinking that maybe he was pregnant.”

Tim lifts an eyebrow. There is something authoritarian about him. Jared can’t quite explain it, but he knows immediately that the man knows what he’s talking about.

“Then it’s more than likely that Mr. Ackles will experience some of those symptoms.”

“Holy shit, what am I supposed to do?”

Jason snorts, seeing Jared’s distress. Tim smiles too, a warm, knowing smile. “Go with it, do not question or confront him about his nesting instincts. You have to understand, Mr. Padalecki-“

“Jared.”

“Very well, Jared. What is crucial for you to understand is that your husband’s behaviour is not something he can control. It’s instinct. Fighting it will only result in more anxiety and a feeling of inadequacy in your partner.”

“You seem to know a lot about it.”

“That was my thesis subject, and it still fascinates me,” the psychologist admits. “I’ve never met a weredragon/human couple experiencing a human, mammal pregnancy. I hope you and your husband will come back. I think I can be of some help.”

“Well, Jensen seems to like it,” Jared says, watching his husband laughing out loud at something Amy just said. “And I think I’m a little lost right now, so yes, we’ll definitely come back.”

“You know,” Tim says, grabbing an apple from the table. “I can’t be a hundred percent certain, but your husband will most probably ask for a home birth.”

This, this is a little bit of a shock. Alright. A big shock. Jared shakes his head. “We’ve already talked about the birth with Dr. Harris. We’re registered at Boston General.”

“It comes with the nesting instinct. Protecting the baby, staying close to the nest. I’m not saying it’s a certain fact, but in most case similar to yours, that’s what happens.”

“But how are we supposed to-“

“There are excellent midwives clinics in the area,” the man points out, patting Jared on the back. “I’m just saying,” he adds before walking away to another small group.

“Wow, are you alright, man?” Jason asks. “You’re a little pale.”

“A human delivery is not exactly like a baby breaking his egg shell, I’m not sure I can go with it,” Jared admits.

It’s scary as hell, that’s what it is.

“I’m not sure you have the choice,” Jason objects, pointing at Jensen and Amy. “If there is one thing I’ve learned since the beginning of Amy’s pregnancy, it’s that I have very little to say when it comes to the way she handles it.”

“Yes, don’t you feel like a spectator sometimes? Like you’re not really part of it.”

“All the time,” Jason answers quickly. “But hey, it’s not their fault. And I sure as hell wouldn’t want to be in their position. Plus, I intend to catch up when our daughter is born. Can’t wait.”

“Yeah…” Jared trails off, still overwhelmed by the whole discussion. 

At that moment, Jensen looks up at him and smiles. It calms Jared down. A little.

In the car on the way back home, Jensen is babbling enthusiastically, still in the same mood he was back at the prenatal class.

“We’ll go back, right?” He asks.

“Yes, of course.”

“Hey, did you know that the eggshell protecting a baby inside the womb is not hard but soft. It can accommodate to movement and stuff without any risk of breaking. It hardens when it comes in contact with air. I touched Amy’s belly and I couldn’t feel any difference with mine.”

“I did not know that.”

“Still freaks me out, though, and I am still glad I don’t have to deal with this. Hey, can we stop for ice cream?”

Jared lifts an eyebrow. “You don’t eat ice cream anymore because it’s cold.”

“Well, now I want some. We’ll eat in the car and turn the heat on.”

“O-kay,” Jared says in a neutral voice, not really looking forward to sweat half of his body mass in the already hot SUV.

“We don’t have to,” Jensen adds because he can read Jared so well.

“No, it’s okay.”

“You don’t look like it’s okay. As a matter of fact, you look broody since we left the class.”

Jared feels immediately guilty. “I don’t mean to. It’s just… I’ve talked with Tim. He has a lot of insight about a weredragon/human pregnancy. I'm trying to take everything in.”

“Like…” Jensen looks at him with suspicion.

“Like he says it’s possible you’ll want to give birth home, not in a hospital.”

Jensen burst out laughing. “What?”

“It’s the nesting stuff.”

“The _nesting stuff_ , you say it like it’s something gross,” Jensen cuts him off, annoyed. “Anyway, Jared, you do remember what I do for a living, right? I’m a nurse, I know everything that can go wrong during a delivery, I know how bad it hurts. I want doctors and nurses and pain medication. I want a hospital. Don’t worry about it.”

Jared nods and tries really hard to believe it. Of course, a month ago, Jensen was persuaded he would work until the seventh or eighth month of his pregnancy, and now staying home doesn’t bother him. He enjoys it. He enjoys doing nothing, cleaning, daydreaming under the sun wearing a hoodie. So, really, how much trust can Jared really put in his words?

Not his fault, it’s instinct, Jared tries to rationalize. _We’ll cross the whole delivery bridge when we’ll get there._

He flashes a smile at Jensen. Jared’s the emotional one in their couple, and it’s hard finding himself having to be the voice of reason.

And there are still four months to go. An eternity.

_To be continued..._


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N:Sorry if I'm late to reply to some comments. Life is a little crazy right now._  
__________

Jensen’s parents come to visit at the end of the month. They’re from Texas. Jensen doesn’t get to see them often. He’s thrilled, but a little nervous, he's the first male bearer in the last three generations of Ackles. Jared can tell he’s uneasy about his father seeing him at six month pregnant, now with a belly that can’t be mistaken for anything else than what it is. Alan does look surprised, almost taken aback; then he smiles as widely as Jensen does and grabs his son in his arms, patting him on the back and beaming with pride.

“This is really happening,” he says, shaking his head like he still has a hard time believing it. 

Jensen, blushing red, lets his mother hug and kiss him too; she's all over her son’s personal space, calling him her baby who’s gonna have a baby and saying how gorgeous he is and how proud she is. Jared puts a stop to it by grabbing his stepmother –softly- and welcomes her by kissing her cheeks. Jensen’s never been a fan of PDA, even with Jared, and lately he’s been reluctant about letting anyone touching his belly with the exception of his husband. Even Dr. Harris has remarked the way he had instinctively tried to move away from her during her last exam. 

“Feeling territorial much?” She’d asked, like it wasn’t anything to worry about, putting Jensen at ease. “Trust me, I’m a doctor,” she’d added, making both of them laugh. Jared thought that she was great.

After Donna Ackles’s first demonstration of enthusiasm, though, Jensen is more relaxed. He’d asked Jared not to make a big deal about this whole nesting thing he’s got going, and Jared understands. It’s been weird enough for Jensen, but trying to explain it to people who never had to deal with these behaviours had seem too complicated to spend energy on it. Jensen is an only child, coming from a family that never had a tendency to merge with other species. He has an aunt that’s married to a werewolf, but that’s about it. Donna and Allan are wonderful people and they’ve always been open-minded and accepting, but the truth is, they don’t know much about weres in general. 

For now anyway, Jensen’s nesting is limited to the bedroom, so it goes unnoticed. The week his parents spend at their home goes by pretty fast. Allan had planned to help with painting the nursery, because Jared is working and he hadn’t been very enthusiastic at the idea of Jensen doing it himself, even if his husband had rolled his eyes and pointed out that there was no danger with acrylic paint. Allan is taking his job seriously. The soft yellow Jared and Jensen had choose is applied, the crib that’s resting in a corner as well as the changing table and the drawer set are assembled. Each day, when Jared comes back from work, he has a new surprise. 

As for Donna, she is determined to take Jensen shopping despite his reluctance. She jokes that her son is so independent he doesn’t want to have his mother spend too much money on their grandchild. Jared figures she’s not even close. The shopping mall isn’t exactly Jensen’s favourite place these days, but when Jared tries to discuss it with him, Jensen brushes it off. “Well, I’m not thrilled, but I can do an exception for my mom. She really, really wants to do this.”

The afternoon Jared arrives and sees Jensen sprawled on the couch, looking half asleep and exasperated, he knows Donna has had her way.

“She’s crazy,” Jensen murmurs, not moving a finger. “I mean, we’re not having triplets, I have no idea what are we going to do with everything she bought.”

“How are you?” Jared sits next to him on the couch.

“I’m glad it’s done, and I love my parents, Jared, but I swear to god I’m going to pop open a non-alcoholic bottle of champagne when they leave.”

“Where are they?”

“In our kid’s room, where do you think?”

Jared finds Donna directing her husband, who’s fixing a curtain pole to the wall. Seeing him, the woman grabs something in the middle of what seems to be at least a hundred different boxes and bags. “Those curtains will be great, what do you think, Jared?”

“Yeah, sure, they’re awesome.”

They’re white curtains with a small duck pattern, Jared thinks. He’s never been too good at decorating, but he figures if Jensen let his mom buy them, it must be okay.

He stays trapped in the room for half an hour, looking at onesies, hats, jumpsuits, bottles, butt cream, pacifiers, cleaning products. The more stuff he sees, the more he panics. Does a baby really need so much? How come he’s never wondered about it before now? Since the beginning of the pregnancy, he’s been taking things as they came. Of course, they bought the furniture for the room, and even the co-sleeping crib –stashed away in their bedroom for now- but really, is Jared ready for this? How is he supposed to know when to use one of the three different butt creams Donna has bought? Or, you know, just… Unsnapping those very tiny pressure buttons on the pj’s with his damn ginormous hands? Gosh, he didn’t even know there were small mitts to cover a newborn’s hands with so that he doesn’t scratch his own face with his fingernails. “Because you can’t clip a baby’s nails before he’s at least two weeks old,” Donna explains.

Jared escapes the room as soon as he can, feeling short of breath, his t-shirt so damp it clings to his skin. He needs air. The dragon in him roars to get free.

He decides to go for a short flight to free all this negative energy. Jensen is now fast asleep on the couch, wrapped in a thick comforter, which makes Jared’s clothes feel even tighter and uncomfortable.

Jared can barely make it to the small wooden area nearby before getting undressed and finally, finally, allowing himself to shift. 

He spits a tiny blue flame, just for the thrill of it, making sure he’s not setting anything on fire.

Jensen loves his bedroom. He can’t understand how he never realized how comfortable and cozy it was before he got pregnant. As soon as the dinner dishes were done, he’d announced he was tired and going to bed early. He’s taken a bath, and now he’s settling in the middle of the bed, taking his time to arrange the pillows and cushions to his liking. It relaxes him so much sometimes he comes here in the middle of the day for no other reason than rearranging his bed. He doesn’t question too much what this means. Right now, he’s busy rubbing the lining of an old comforter with his thumb, appreciating the texture, a little rough from too many washing, but solid, the perfect material to have in a safe and comfortable…

_…Nest._

Jensen freezes for a moment, wondering where this thought came from. Knowing he’s nesting and actually thinking about his bed as a nest are two very different things. He sits straighter and rubs the swell of his stomach, feeling the soft push of his son under the skin. “Dominant genes, right?” He murmurs. “Kid, you don’t need dominant genes, you already have me wrapped around your little finger.”

Talking to the baby, or to himself, is a new thing too, another behaviour he can’t explain but which too has a calming effect on him. And god, does he need it after the day he’s had with his mother. He isn’t the only one to have had an exhausting day. He knows Jared had shifted and gone for a flight before dinner. It’s not something he usually does, not after a long work day. Jared had told him he was alright afterward, that he just needed to release some energy, but he was more silent than usual during dinner, and had eaten half the batch of brownies he’d brought from work. Jared eats his emotions, and he has a lot of emotions. Sherry Padalecki sometimes jokes that he'd become a cook to indulge his habit. Maybe she’s not that far from the truth.

Jared comes in, fresh from a shower, a few moments later. Jensen has a book opened on his thighs, although he’s not reading. He’s watching his husband walking around the room and getting ready to sleep. Yep, still in the same nervous mode. 

“So, what’s going on?” He asks.

“Nothing’s going on. I’m good,” Jared replies, finally sitting next to Jensen.

Jensen grabs his hand and put it on the swell of his stomach. Jared tenses but doesn’t pull back.

“This little guy making you nervous?”

Jared’s head drops. “How did you know?”

“Well, you went to see my mom and everything she bought, then you went out and shifted. So I figured, maybe seeing all that tiny baby stuff had something to do with it?”

“Oh god, Jensen, there are so many things I don’t know about babies. I never… It never occurred to me how ignorant I was, and our son, he’s coming soon and I’m going to be a terrible father,” Jared blurts out.

“What?” Jensen can’t help but smile. “No, you won’t.”

“There are different creams to put on a baby’s butt, did you know that? Some for rashes, some for-“

“Jay,” Jensen stops his husband before he can go on. “No, I did not know that, and it’s not important. We’ll learn, like every parent does. We can buy ourselves one of those big books with illustrations and everything. We’ll have some help when the baby’s born. I figure your mom, the way she’s talking, will probably be around for at least the first week.”

“Yeah, but-“

“Come on. We still have months to go. We didn’t suddenly become baby experts because you got me pregnant. We’ll figure it out.”

Jared finally lifts his head and looks at him. His hand on Jensen’s belly starts stroking it. “You seem so calm and confident about this.”

“Well…” 

Jensen tries to come with a good answer. The truth is: he doesn’t know why, it’s just how he feels. Whenever he thinks about their son’s birth and what will follows, he’s filled with a calm that’s serene, soothing. Whether it’s because of the were genes and instinct, or just the way Jensen is as a person, it’s not important. 

“I don’t know,” he finally says. “I just think everything is going to be okay.”

Jared frowns at him for a long time, then presses his lips on Jensen’s.

“We don’t even have a name yet.”

“We would have one, if you’d consider my choice,” Jensen brings back their argument from a week ago.

“We won’t call him Henry! It’s an old, ugly name.”

“Well, thank you for the total absence of respect toward my ancestors.”

“I have all the respect in the world for your great-grand-father, but my son won’t be called Henry. Besides, Henry Padalecki sounds wrong.”

Jensen feels a pinch of annoyance. Without even thinking, he grabs the pillow that’s the closest to him. “Why not Henry Ackles? I mean, your _genes_ are dominant, not… everything.”

“Well, I don’t know, I guess we can call him Ackles.”

“You better guess right because I’m the one carrying him and-“

Jensen stops, realizing he’s squishing the pillow angrily. Gosh, this is stupid, he’s never had a temper before. 

“We are ridiculous.”

“Yes, we are.”

Jared smiles and lies down next to him. It takes all of Jensen's will not to protest that his husband has misplaced half of his nest. Jared is part of it, part of the cocoon Jensen’s brain hyped on hormones is constantly trying to improve.

Jensen turns on his side and slides a hand down Jared’s stomach, going for the elastic band of his boxers. Sex is always a good distraction, after all, especially for Jensen. 

“What do you want?” Jared asks, immediately turned on, with the low voice Jensen likes so much.

“You fucking me, while I’m on all fours,” Jensen answers simply, feeling his cock already hot and heavy with blood. 

“Oh god, yes,” Jared launches himself at Jensen, and now there isn’t any order or reason to the mess of comforters, blankets and pillows. Something in Jensen’s mind is protesting loudly, but of course, his sexual desire takes the lead and he thinks fuck it, kissing his husband back fiercely.

Jared does provide everything Jensen wants and more, and Jensen’s just so horny he kind of gets lost in it, being pounded restlessly from behind, his husband teasing his cock, caressing his balls, sucking at his neck and Jensen pleads and moans and asks for more. He’s so close, just a little bit more, a little bit more-

“Jensen, baby are you in pain?”

Hearing the voice of his mother is like falling in a very cold body of water. Jensen freezes. Jared does the same. For a horrible second, nothing happens.

“Donna,” comes Allan’s voice next. “Would you-“

“Jensen baby, answer me, is Jared with you? Where does it hurt?”

And yes, Jensen should tell her everything’s fine, but he doesn’t have time to come back from the shock before the worst case scenario happens. He hears the door open.

“Jesus,” Jared all but shouts, falling on his side and dragging Jensen down with him. His cock pops out of Jensen’s hole with a loud squelching noise that there is no way Jensen’s parents could miss. Luckily, while Jensen is busy freaking out, Jared has the presence of mind to cover both of them with a sheet, at least where it counts.

“Donna, I told you he was alright,” Alan growls.

Jensen keeps his eyes squeezed shut. _None of this is happening_ , he repeats to himself. His parents haven’t just barged into his and Jared’s bedroom when they were having filthy sex. Nope.

“I, huh, I’m sorry, I thought,” Donna babbles.

“What did you think they were doing, seriously?” Alan asks.

“Mom, Dad, could you please just get out,” Jensen mumbles into the pillow pressed against his face.

“Come on, Donna,” Alan adds, and maybe Jensen is just imagining things, but he thinks he hears a smile in his father’s voice.

“Yes, of course, my apologies, I’ll…Jensen? What’s with all the pillows and cushions, they’re everywhere.”

“Oh god,” Jared whispers dramatically.

“Donna! Let’s go! Now,” Jensen’s father orders.

The door closes, finally. It feels like a little eternity has passed.

“Fuck my life,” Jensen declares while Jared bursts out laughing.

It’s more nervous than anything else, so Jensen lets it go. 

“One more day,” Jensen feels the need to point out.

“We still have the dinner with my parents tomorrow to go through,” Jared points out, because he’s just a spoilsport like that.

“Geez, thanks for reminding me,” Jensen grunts.

He sits up in the wet spot and curses. The room is a mess. The bed is a mess. He can’t believe he was just second away from coming. Now sex is the last thing he wants to do. At least with his parents still in the house.

“I suppose we’ll drop it for tonight,” Jared sighs, turning on his back to look at him.

“What do you think?”

“Well, you were loud.”

Jensen, already busy rearranging the bed, throws a pillow at him. “You love it when I’m loud. It’s all your fault.”

“Of course it is.” Jared keeps on smiling, like they’re characters in a sitcom. Too bad Jensen doesn’t have any witty replies to trigger the laugh track.

“Shut up and help me.”

August comes with an invitation from Jason and Amy. At their parental class the day before, Tim had told Jared and Jensen it’s a great honour to be welcome into a house during a nesting period. Jared doesn’t know why they deserve it. After all, they’ve only see the couple three times, but it is true that Jensen and Amy had connected pretty strongly.

“You have to respect Amy’s need to protect the egg,” Tim tells them. “She might seem a little different to you, and even if she did invite you, she might not want you guys get too close.”

“Of course,” Jensen agrees, putting a hand onto his own stomach.

It all seems very natural to him. The day their visit is planned, a Saturday, Jensen decide they should go to the baby store to buy a gift for the baby. It surprises Jared because Jensen doesn’t go out anymore, not when he can avoid it. The prenatal class and taking walks around the neighbourhood are basically his only social activities now.

Jared just goes with it. The baby store is crowded, as it always in the middle of the day during weekends. They have to make their way amongst parents with kids and babies. Jared keeps a protective hand on the small of Jensen’s back, and for once, Jensen doesn’t protest but only gets closer. For someone who’s always cold and dressed like it’s the middle of the winter, he’s suddenly sweating, his face beet red, his breathing fast and shallow.

“You okay?” Jared asks, which makes his husband tenses.

“Yeah, let’s just get it over with.”

“What are we getting them? A toy, clothes?”

Jensen points at the back of the store. “Nesting stuff is over there.”

“Alright.”

Jensen doesn’t hesitate before choosing a simple white blanket, running his fingers on the fabric, eyes closed.

“I’m sure they already have a blanky for the baby.”

“It’s not for the baby, it’s for Amy’s nest,” Jensen explains. “This is so soft, Jared, touch it.”

Jared does and tries to look as impressed as Jensen visibly is. “Huh. Okay. You huh… you want one? For you?”

Jensen looks at him under his long eyelashes. “Yeah, I’d really like that.”

Gosh, this nesting thing is getting intense. Jared wonders if Jensen is conscious of all the changes in his usual behaviour.

“Okay, then, we’re settled.”

Jared grabs the two blankets and tucks them under his arm, using his other one to take Jensen’s hand and drag him toward the cashier area.

All the four opened cash registry have a long waiting line. Jared can see Jensen looking left and right in a frenzy, something very close to fear in his wide eyes.

“Why don’t you go wait for me outside? Or in the car?” Jared suggests. 

“You don’t mind?” Jensen asks without even looking at him.

“No, of course, go on.”

It takes Jared twenty minutes of waiting before he can finally pay for the blankets and get out of this hellish store. 

Jensen is waiting for him in the car, and it takes Jared a few moments before he can see that he’s curled in on himself, head tucked between his arms.

Jared’s reaction is to feel the first sparks of shifting running under his skin. He takes a deep breath and gets himself under control, because whatever is wrong with Jensen, turning into a freaking dragon won’t solve anything.

“Jen?” He asks softly, opening the passenger’s door.

“Can we just go?” Jensen mumbles between his arms.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah I… just… I wasn’t feeling too good in the store. Too many people and… Even in the parking lot. All the noises are so loud it hurts and I’m sure it’s not good for the baby.”

Jensen lifts his head. His pupils are blown, his teeth chattering and his face has turned from red to a greenish white.

“Is huh… “ Jared clears his throat. “Did you have a panic attack?”

“Fuck yes, I did, now can we go?” 

Jared pulls open one of the blanket package and tucks it around Jensen the best he can. It seems to do him some good because he sits a little straighter and smiles at him. “How pathetic am I?” 

“Not pathetic at all,” Jared says with intent. “I’m taking you home.”

The surge of protectiveness that almost made him shift doesn’t go away, doesn’t even falter. Jared drives slowly, casting constant looks at his husband, wondering if he’s doing enough for him, if the toll this pregnancy takes on him is much more than Jensen wants to admit to. After all, Jensen has always been independent, responsible, taking care of himself, of his career, of his husband. Dealing with the vulnerability of his pregnancy is visibly his hardest struggle since Jared has known him. And Jared feels at a loss about what to do, sucked up in the same whirlwind of changes that are going through both their lives. Still, he wakes up and go to work every morning of the week, sometimes even on Saturdays, and Jensen spends his days alone. Dealing. 

Jared is tired. He knows Jensen must be as well, even though so far, he’s physically handling the pregnancy pretty well, exercising, eating healthy, not suffering from anything else than gastric reflux since he stopped working. He’s only taken on twelve pounds so far, his belly is small but firm, the rest of his body almost unchanged. Still, exhaustion is far from being reduced to one’s physical shape. Sometimes emotional exhaustion is worst. Not Jared’s words -Tim’s. The guy knows his stuff.

Jared just wishes he’d knew what to do.

Back home, Jensen goes straight for their bedroom to rest before they go visit Amy and Jason. Jared calls Genevieve. She answers at the first ring, and as awesome as she always is, she listens to Jared ramble on and on about his insecurities, about his husband, about the baby coming and everything that comes to his mind.

“Babe,” she finally cuts him off. “Listen, it seems to me that so far, Jensen is handling things pretty well. I mean, the panic attack, it was the first one since that time at the nursing home. And you keep telling me how good he feels to be at home and how comfortable he seems to be.”

“But what if? What if I can’t help him through all of this? He was so… vulnerable this afternoon and-“

“He’s pregnant, Jay, of course he’s vulnerable, and he’s not used to it, but each time I saw him I thought he looked kind of zen with everything. Even the nesting. You’re freaking out because of what? You think you’re not doing your job of taking care of him and the baby? Because you do, you’re perfect.”

“I spend more time with you that I spend with him,” Jared murmurs, still unconvinced.

“Listen, Jay, you can take a couple of days off, you know I can manage. I mean, maybe it’s you that’s tired, maybe it’s you that needs a break.”

“I’m not the one pregnant, having to deal with all those nesting instincts, and my body changing, and-“

“Which means what? You can’t be tired? I know, you don’t want to take days off before the baby’s born, but when I tell you I can manage, I really can manage. And just for fun, how long has it been since you’ve spend a couple of days on Great Brewster Island?”

“Well…”

Jared tries to remember.

Amy and Jason’s apartment is quiet: all the curtains are drawn, the heat is up, and Jason answers the door, whispering.

“I’m so glad you guys could come,” he smiles.

He looks tired, but happy. 

Jensen tries not to seem impatient while Jason takes them to their living room and offers them something to drink, doing small talks with Jared. After the events of the afternoon, Jensen still feels a little out of it, and this apartment building doesn’t do anything to calm him down. So many people in such narrow spaces. He feels a little like he’s choking and has to concentrate on the breathing exercises Dr. Harris has taught him. Holding the wrapped-up nesting blanket helps.

He wants to see Amy, he needs to see her. That need is strong. He can’t quite explain it to himself, just like so many other things. He just tries to have a little control over it.

“How’s Amy?” he finally asks when there is a pause in the conversation.

“She’s good. Of course, she barely gets out of our room, only when she needs to, but she’s handling it pretty well. We should go see her now, yes? She was so excited to see you, Jensen.”

Jason guides them to their room at the end of the hallway. The door is closed. He stops, his hand on the handle.

“I don’t know if she’s shifted yet so let me get in first, alright?” He asks, then knocks softly on the door. “Amy, honey, Jared and Jensen are here.”

There is a soft growl on the other side. Jason pushes the door open.

A whole corner of the bedroom is littered with comforters and pillows and there is a small but beautiful tiger right in the middle of it. Jensen is breath-taken. The tiger is wrapped around something he can’t see, but he has no doubt it must be the egg. Amy’s purring, loud and regular, the sound soothing despite how impressive she is in her animal form.

Jensen feels tears prickling his eyes, blinks them away with annoyance. Being so emotional all the time is not something he’s comfortable with, and he doubts he’ll ever get used to it.

He doesn’t seem to be the only one, though, because Jared gets closer to him and wraps an arm around his waist.

“Guys, can you give us a minute?” Jason asks, stepping into the room.

“Of course.”

The door closes behind them. Jensen hears some shuffling, then low voices. He waits in anticipation, hugging the wrapped blanket in his arms.

“You alright?” Jared asks.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine,” he brushes him off.

It’s Amy that opens the door, her hair tucked on the top of her head in a bun , wearing a pair of pyjamas. She has the same tired but serene expression as her husband. “Sorry, I tend to forget the time when I’m in my tiger form, come on in, guys.”

Jason is sitting on the nest of pillows, one arm wrapped around an impressive-sized egg, more round than oval, of a pale blue color speckled in a darker tone. 

“Oh my god,” Jensen murmurs. “It’s… It’s beautiful.”

“There's all this tech stuff you can buy now,” Jason explains, caressing the egg with caution. “Wrappers that can keep the egg’s temperature even and electronic devices that can tell you if anything unusual happens. And supports to protect the egg. We prefer do it the old-fashioned way. All the studies say it’s better for parental attachment anyway.”

“It feels right too,” Amy explains, unwrapping the gift Jensen has just given to her. She smiles when she sees the blanket, rubs it against her face. “Thank you so much, it’s perfect.”

She immediately kneels near her husband and arranges the blanket with the others. Jensen wants so bad to get closer, to be able to touch the egg, but he hesitates, knowing nesting instincts are strong and not wanting to make a faux pas.

“Come on, Jensen,” Amy tells him, just like she can read his mind, “come and meet our little girl.”

Jason stands up to give them some space. Jensen approaches slowly, followed by Jared. When Jensen kneels near Amy, he can see the way she looks at his husband, almost suspicious. Jared seems to get the message because he doesn’t come any closer, and when Jason offers him a beer, he accepts, leaving the room with him.

Jensen barely registers it. He stretches a hesitant hand toward the egg, then stops, unsure of what to do. Amy grabs his wrist and guides him until he can lay his palm on the hard surface of the egg. 

It’s warm, it’s… almost vibrating. Jensen can feel something shifting inside, despite the hard shell.

Instinctively, he lays a hand on his stomach, wishing he could too have his baby safe at home, without having to worry about people touching his belly, getting too close, invading his personal space.

“Our doctor says she’ll probably be ready to hatch in a couple of weeks,” Amy whispers. “She’s an impatient little girl. There is already a couple of cracks in the shell.”

“How do you feel?” Jensen asks.

“Tired, and sick of this room, to be honest,” Amy laughs. “I can’t go out for a walk even though I know Jason is here and taking care of her. I tried, but I got so anxious I ran back in here after five minutes. And I can’t… I keep shifting, it feels better to nest in my animal form, which is a nonsense because tigers sure as hell don’t nest, but it takes a lot of energy from me. And, you know, I want to see what she looks like, and hold her in my arms.”

“Yeah… Can’t wait either,” Jensen says, feeling a soft kick under his hand. “It’s hard,” he adds.

“I know,” Amy nods. “It’s hard, but it’s worth it.”

Jared is quiet in the car on their way back. Jensen is too. He feels…. confused, he can’t explain why. Seeing Amy’s nest and her little girl’s egg has made a profound impression on him. 

“You okay?” Jared finally asks while they’re waiting at a red light.

“Yeah… I don’t know. We’ve still got three months to go, Jay, and… I’m not sure I can make it.”

“What?”

Jensen tries his best to explain. “I want to hold our baby in my arms right freaking now. I want to be able to feel that he’s okay, out of arm’s way, sleeping in his crib next to us. Anything can happen to me and then what would I do if-“

Jensen stops. He knows his anxiety is rising again. It’s been a long day. Besides, it doesn’t do any good wishing for things that won’t happen. He’d wanted a mammal, human pregnancy, that’s what he got. He’d been so scared for their baby to grow in an egg, and now, he can’t see how it makes any sense.

“Yes, seeing Amy and Jason with their egg was pretty impressive, right?” Jared agrees. “We’ll be fine, Jensen,” he adds. “You’re doing everything you can to protect the baby and I’m fucking proud of you.”

Jensen smiles. Jared tries so hard to make him at ease with the pregnancy, all the time. He’s protective and attentive to his every need. He’s great. Not that Jensen has ever had any doubts.

“I talked with Gen today,” Jared adds, then clears his throat. “She kind of forced me to take a couple of days off.”

“Really?”

“And I was thinking… We haven’t visit the Island ever since you got pregnant. What do you say we pack our things tomorrow morning? I’ll call my dad to be sure the cottage will be ready for us. I think… I think I need this, Jensen.”

Jared speaks as if there is some shame into needing to get away from the city. Jensen hadn’t realized how long it’s been since they’d done it. He hadn’t even thought about it or the toll this might be taking on Jared. Being pregnant, he realizes, makes it hard not to become at least a little self-centered.

Jensen thinks of the cottage settled on a cliff, of the noise of the waves hitting the rocks down below. The Island is peaceful, quiet, and he feels like an idiot because he hasn’t thought about it before, and he feels he needs it as much as Jared does.

“It’s a great idea,” he says with sincerity. “What would we do without Gen?”

Jared smiles widely. He seems relieved. “I love you, you know that?”

“Of course you do,” Jensen jokes. “I’m adorable.”

_To be continued..._


	6. Chapter 6

Jensen feels a little sick during the ride to Great Brewster Island. He doesn’t usually get seasick, and they’re both sitting in the car on the huge ferryboat, barely feeling any swaying, but the slightest movement makes his stomach churn. He just closes his eyes and takes deep breaths, he doesn't actually have to get out and find a place to puke his guts out. So many cars tucked one behind the other, trapped in the middle of the sea; Jensen wonders if it’s the boat’s motion that's making him sick or the feeling of being unable to escape.

Jared rubs soothing circles on his back and speaks to him softly. Jensen lets him. He needs this, badly, trying to ground himself to his husband and nothing else. 

When the ferry finally reaches the port, Jensen feels this prickling sensation under his skin, all over. He wants to be on land already, can’t stand one more minute of being caged there. 

“Fuck, what is taking so long?” He rasps, keeping his eyes closed.

Jared grabs his hand. “Just a few more minutes, baby. You’re doing good.”

And Jensen knows, logically, that he shouldn’t find it so comforting, because that’s not the kind of man he is, right? He’s used to taking care of himself –hell, he’s the one who usually comforts Jared, but now, Jesus, he needs it so bad.

The car finally moves, slowly at first. Jensen feels the switch from the ferry’s floor to the road, and it’s like he can finally breathe for the first time. He opens his eyes, lowers the window, and takes a huge mouthful of fresh air.

Yes, that’s better.

“We did it,” he croaks, just like they’ve accomplished some incredible exploit. 

“You okay, you need to stop?”

“No,” Jensen grabs a water bottle in the glove compartment. “Now I’m good.

Great Brewster Island is owned by the Padaleckis, the Corteses and the Collins, the three principal families of weredragons in New England. It's been this way for the past hundred years, after the Cleveland Were Rights Treaty was signed. Jensen doesn’t know much about were politics, and everything he’s learned has been from Gerald Padalecki’s stories. His great-grand-father was one of the first weredragons to immigrate to America, and the man is passionate about the subject. 

Some special laws apply here on the island, like the unrestricted right to fly and the absence of any aerial traffic in the area. Most of the inhabitants don’t live on the Island all year long, but there are a few families, like Jared’s parents who own a big centennial house, built on a small hill at the back of the Island. 

There is a grocery and utility store, a gas station, and a restaurant on the tiny main street. That’s about it. Riding on the road to the Padalecki’s residence, you could almost guess the place is deserted. The sun is up and warm in the sky, but a soft, cool wind blows. Jensen shivers and wraps his arms around himself. He can’t wait to be at the cottage already.

“Here we are,” Jared announces, letting out a contented sigh. 

His parent’s house finally comes into view, but Jared drives past it, going down a small uneven road through the woods. It’s a five minute ride, at most, to the cottage at the top of the cliff; it looks as tidy as ever, a small wooden two story construction that seems higher than wider. There is another one a few miles to the left: the one the Padaleckis had built for Megan, Jared’s sister, although she visits way less often than Jared. She lives in Germany and works at the US embassy, were division, following her father’s footsteps. She’s an intern still, but Gerry is so proud of her that there is a light in his eyes each time he mentions his daughter.

Jared stops the car near the entry and runs around to help Jensen out, even though he can very well get out of the car by himself: his belly isn’t so big yet that it makes it difficult to move. He smiles, happy to be away from that damn ferry and relishing the quietness of the Island. He goes to help Jared with the stuff in the trunk -I can do it, geez, at least let me take a bag, I’m not incapacitated- and then stops the argument when he sees the small cloud of smoke escaping the stone chimney. 

“Is our cottage on fire?”

Jared beams at him, his arms full of bags. “Talked with my mom and she said she’d send Dad to make a fire in the fireplace for us.”

Jensen is touched, so touched, in fact, that he feels his throat close and his eyes prickling. He takes a deep breath, asks Jared for the keys, and walks quickly to the cottage so that his husband doesn’t see how much of a wuss he really is these days.

As it turns out, it's not only the fireplace that has been taken care of. The cottage has been cleaned, there isn’t the faintest trace of dust anywhere. In the main bedroom, on the king bed, he finds a pile of folded blankets, some extra pillows and cushions. There is a note on top of it. Jensen takes it and recognises his stepmother’s fine writing.

_Dear Jensen,  
I know this can’t replace the nest you made yourself back home, but I hope it will help you feel safe here for the upcoming days. See you guys at dinner tonight.  
Love,  
Sherry_

“Wow,” Jared says in a loud voice, dropping the bags on the ground. 

“Your mom.”

“Yeah, I guessed that much.”

“She’s awesome,” Jensen murmurs, still too much close to tears for his liking. 

He picks up a pillow on the bed and feels the texture, soft but yet firm. 

“Well, she knows what you’re going through.”

“Still awesome.”

Jared is behind Jensen in a second and wraps his arms around his belly. The baby kicks, hard enough for Jared to feel him. He laughs, shoving his face in the crook of Jensen’s neck. “Love you.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Jared is obviously horny, there is no subtlety in the way he presses his crotch on Jensen’s ass, but Jensen doesn’t feel like it right now, not until the room is settled to his liking.

“Please just… let me rearrange the bed,” he asks, blushing slightly.

“Of course. I’ll be downstairs unpacking the groceries.”

Jared gives a playful slap on his ass and walks out of the room, humming a stupidly cheesy song.

Jensen goes to work. The bed is a little hard for his liking, so he spreads the thickest blanket on it. There, it's already better. Jensen can sit in the middle of the bed for the rest of the work now. He grabs another folded blanket and holds it for a long time in his hand. The texture is perfect, so soft and malleable that it doesn’t even feel like fabric. He wonders if he could bring it back home with him. Surely, Sherry wouldn’t mind…

Laughing at himself for being so excited about a pile of sheets, Jensen stretches his legs and lays back on the pillows in a half-sitting position. He feels tired, but it’s a good tired, like his mind is suddenly empty of all of his usual worries. It’s the Island, he realizes; the quietness, the space, the atmosphere. No noise from the city, no choking feeling, no strangers brushing past him that he has to worry about.

He doesn’t even feel sleep coming to wrap its lazy arms around him. 

::: :::

They don’t do much during their visit, which is fine by Jared’s standards. The dinner at his parent’s goes well. Jensen spends most of the evening talking with his mother about her nesting experience, which has Jared smiling at seeing how his mom and his husband, who always got along but have never been close per se, now seem to share a precious secret. 

Jared shifts a lot, goes for long flights over the Island, sometimes with his father and sometimes alone. He knows a lot of people here but doesn’t make any special effort to meet them. He needs the rest, and he needs Jensen to rest. And Jensen seems perfectly content to just hang around the cottage, sitting in front of the fireplace with a book or napping in their bedroom. Mid-afternoon on the second day, they make love. Jensen initiates it, says it’s to make up for falling asleep the day before. It’s slow and intense and Jensen comes twice, which never happens. The second time, it’s from Jared playing with his nipples and rubbing his belly -it’s so damn sexy that Jared’s cock tries to jerk back to life, even though he came less than five minutes ago.

Afterward, they just lie in bed and enjoy each other’s enjoy each other, and the baby starts hiccupping, which makes both of them laugh, watching as Jensen’s belly trembles every five seconds or so.

It’s good, spending so much time with each other, seeing Jensen so relaxed and feeling as relaxed himself. For the first time, Jared lets himself imagine bringing their son here. He won’t shift until he’s two years old, maybe three. A tiny, clumsy dragon trying to take his first flight. Jared can’t wait. 

::: :::

Going back home is hard on both of them. Jared is less than enthusiastic about going back to work. Jensen is just… silent. Not necessarily broody, but too quiet. More often than not, when Jared comes back at the end of his day, his finds his husband sleeping in their bedroom, burrowed under the sheets. Come mid-August, Jensen comes down with a bad cold, and seriously, how could he even catch something when he barely gets out of the house anymore? 

“Because life hates me,” Jensen declares dramatically, his voice muffled by the wad of Kleenex he holds against his nose.

It’s only normal that he looks paler than usual. Jensen usually goes through a cold or stomach flu without Jared even noticing it (and yes, by his own admission, Jared turns into a giant baby when he’s sick; at least it happens rarely as weres have a stronger immune system) but this time, after a week, he doesn’t get any better. He doesn’t have a fever, though, and the symptoms don’t get worse. They just don’t get improve. He looks pathetic, with his hair plastered on his head, his swollen eyes, and his nose rubbed raw. If he usually has trouble getting warm, now it’s turning into an obsession. The furnace is on in the middle of the summer, and now Jensen wears a hoodie on top of a long-sleeve shirt. Jared is relegated to the guest bedroom, because according to Jensen, he messes with the bed blankets too much and keeps waking him up.  
It doesn’t help Jensen’s mood when they get a call from Jason who proudly announces that their little girl has finally hatched, and that they are welcome to visit and meet her. There is no way Jensen will risk making a newborn sick, so they have to excuse themselves. It makes Jensen so upset Jared suggests they go to their next prenatal class. They missed the last two because Jensen wasn't in the mood, but maybe Tim can help Jensen put everything into perspective. He’s good at it.

Jensen refuses. He says it’s not any less dangerous to pass his cold to pregnant people, and that, right there, doesn’t really make sense. “Come on, you’re not carrying a deadly disease. And unless you sneeze directly in the face of people-“

“Jared. We’re not going.” Jensen cuts him off.

There is definitely something going on with Jensen, something more than his never-ending cold. He wasn’t sick when they had gotten back from the Island, but he'd already been in this strange, melancholy mood. Maybe Jared is slow on the uptake. It takes seeing Jensen undress for his bath to take action.

Jensen hadn’t let him get close, especially over the course of the last week, so it’s not really surprising that Jared hadn’t seen him naked.

It’s kind of a shock. Because Jensen has lost some weight. Enough for Jared to notice the second he sees him without all the layers of clothes he usually wears. His hips look thinner, even his belly seems to have shrunk a bit. It triggers Jared’s protective instinct instantly, and he feels like growling, barely able to hold it in.

“That’s it,” he says firmly while Jensen cautiously steps into the bath. “You need to see a doctor.”

Jensen sighs, lowers himself into the water while holding to the edges of the bathtub. “We have an appointment with Dr. Harris a week from now.”

“You've lost weight.”

Jensen sits back and stretches his legs, looking down at himself. “No.”

“Yes. I want you to see a doctor. This cold won’t go away, and you’re not well.”

“Jesus, Jared! Cut me some slack.”

Jared keeps a firm tone. “I did. Not anymore. I’m worried. I’m calling Dr. Harris now.”

And without waiting for a response, Jared gets out of the bathroom. 

::: :::

Dr. Harris takes Jensen completely by surprise when she decides to admit him for twenty-four hours, after she found him dehydrated. He has lost weight, not much, but still. He’s a nurse. He knows he’s not doing well, but he also knows the cold isn’t the only thing responsible. His symptoms aren’t only physical, but psychological as well.

In the car on their way to the hospital, Jared is holding the wheel way too tight and looking straight ahead. He’s mad, Jensen can tell, and he doesn’t blame him. He’s not trying to defend himself either. He’s too busy having the beginning of a panic attack, riding through the city and thinking about Boston General, and how crowded it is, how it's crawling with germs. Strangers are going to prod and poke at him, and he’s not sure he’ll be able to take it.

Breathing exercises, he reminds himself, except his nose is blocked and it messes with the whole technique. He tries it nevertheless, but the more he breathes, the more he loses control, taking in huge breaths. It never feels like enough, because his belly is pushing up against his stomach and lungs and… yeah, he’s going to be sick, right here in the car, and they’re on the highway so there is no way Jared can stop.

“Jen?” 

Jensen closes his eyes and tries to calm himself down. He pictures the cottage on Great Brewster Island, being alone and surrounded by trees and rocks, the sea dashing against them down below. 

“Jensen, why are you breathing so fast, are you okay?”

“Trying to calm down,” Jensen hisses. 

Luckily for him, Jared doesn’t ask anything else, and after a while the urge to throw up subsides. Jensen is surprised to find his forehead covered in sweat and that they’re parked in front of the hospital.

“Panic attack?” Jared asks, his features slightly less tense than during Jensen’s appointment.

“Yeah I’m… fine now.”

“Okay, let’s go, Dr. Harris said they would be waiting for us.”

“Jared, listen…”

Jensen wants to explain, how difficult everything has been since they’ve left the island, how difficult it is right now, just thinking about entering the huge building that is Boston General, but Jared cuts him off. 

“Let’s not have this discussion now, okay? Later, when you’ll be taken care of.”

“Okay.”

Jared is rarely angry –he’s one of the sweetest people Jensen has ever met, so he knows not to push. He let his husband take him by the arm and walk him inside, then in the elevator, to the third floor –the obstetrics ward.

Jensen is not even sure he would’ve been able to walk by himself, because his anxiety started to rise again as soon as they entered the hospital. He can do this. He can. It’s a hospital, it’s safe. He should know better.

That’s the whole problem, actually, the difference between what Jensen’s guts tell him and what his cerebral, reasonable mind tries to counter. Jensen was fine in their home until they had decided to spend some time on the Island. When they came back, nothing had been the same. Jensen had realized how crowded the neighbourhood was, how close was the highway and constant and loud the noise coming from it. His home, where he had felt safe and comfortable, had lost its appeal compared to the quietness of Brewster Island, the solitude of the cottage, the feeling of being apart from the rest of the world.

Reasoning that he would have to get over it and actually getting over it had been two very different things. The cold from hell that won’t get better is just an after-effect of Jensen’s constant nervousness, of his lack of sleep, of his anxiety. He hadn’t taken good care of himself and the baby he wants so badly to protect could’ve been suffering from this.

Jared doesn’t have to be angry at him, really, Jensen is already doing a good job of being mad at himself.

They make him wait outside while Jensen changes into a hospital gown and gets settled in bed, then hooked to an IV drip. A foetus monitor is also plugged in, and Jensen shouldn’t be bothered by it, his son is fine, Dr. Harris had reassured him. He knows the foetal monitor is only a precaution, something that’s automatically done whenever someone is hospitalized in the prenatal ward. 

He is bothered, though, because the elastic band holding the monitor feels like it's pressing too much on his skin, because staring at the baby’s heartbeat on the screen is way too nerve-wracking. The connection is lost each time Jensen coughs or moves too much, even when the baby shifts inside his belly, and seeing the little beating heart sign disappearing isn’t a good feeling.

Jensen’s own heartbeat is monitored as well, and one of the nurse looks at it for a long time. It’s steady and fast, around a hundred and twenty beat a minute. 

“Your heart rate is fast”, the nurse announces. “Are you feeling short of breath, Mr. Ackles?”

Jensen feels like rolling his eyes. He knows what’s wrong with him. “I’m alright, I’m just having a bit of an anxiety fit right now.”

The two nurses exchange a look. “Listen,” Jensen tries to sound as calm as he can. “My doctor calls it nesting anxiety and she knows about this. I’m a nurse, it’s no big deal, trust me.”

“Still,” the first nurse says, looking dubious. “I would prefer to contact Dr. Harris, just to be on the safe side. Can you try to rest in the meantime?”

“Yeah,” Jensen huffs in frustration. 

A few seconds later, he’s finally left alone, but not for long. Jared comes in, drags a chair close to his bed and sits abruptly.

“Your heart is beating too fast,” he declares.

“The nurses told you?”

“Of course. I have to ask because you won’t tell me anything, will you?”

It gets to Jensen now, and he can’t do anything as he feels his eyes prickling with tears. “I know you’re upset, and you’re right. I’m all over the place about doing what’s best for the baby-“

Jared sighs, looking exasperated. “I don’t think you’re a bad father, and it’s not about the baby, Jensen. I know how much you love him, and I think I have a pretty good idea of everything you’re ready to go through to make sure he’s alright. It’s you that’s worrying me.”

“It’s just a cold.”

“Exactly,” Jared raises his voice. “It’s not just a cold - you’re in the hospital, Jen! And only because I forced you to see Dr. Harris. And that, that’s what scares me. The way you keep locking me out. Why didn’t you tell me how bad you really felt, why would you do that?”

Jared looks hurt, and that’s what upsets Jensen the most. He doesn’t know how to answer to that, and everything seems so out of proportion right now. He doesn’t control anything, the beeping noise of his heartbeat combined to the baby’s is so freaking loud he can barely think. A sudden crashing sound outside of his room makes him jump, and he wraps both hands around his belly instinctively. The noise is followed by laughter.

Jensen wants to go back home so badly it hurts. He sits up abruptly and starts peeling off the tape that’s holding the IV drip needle inside his arms.

“Jensen, what are you doing?”

Jared grabs his wrist and holds it tight. Jensen blindly tries to get a grip on his husband. He’s breathing so deep and fast his vision is scattered by flashing dots. 

“I need to get out of here, Jay, please. It’s … I can’t… Too many people and… Germs and noises and…”

“Jensen, look at me.”

“I want to go back home, take me back home. T-take me back to the Island, I need-…”

“Jen, listen, calm down, I’m here, I’m right here with you.”

Jared’s too calm voice just makes everything worse. “You don’t get it!” Jensen pants. “You think I’m shutting you out, but I’m just trying to… To deal with the nesting bullshit and now I don’t even feel safe home anymore, and… I’m not doing it on purpose!”

“I know, I know, Jensen, just… Breathe with me, okay?”

Jensen tries. He really does, but his stomach is churning and he knows that this time, he won’t be able to get the nausea to subside. It must show on his face because Jared is right there with the trashcan, helping him so that he doesn’t throw up all over himself. Jensen shivers violently, heaves and spits a long trickle of bile. Jared is rubbing soothing circles on his back, hushing him. And of course, that’s the moment two nurses decide to come in and see what it’s all about, because Jensen doesn’t feel miserable and pathetic enough already.

::: :::

Dr. Harris comes to see Jensen in the evening. By then, the pill Jensen was given to help calm him down has started to work. He looks a little stunned, or drunk, but it’s better than the impression of a cornered animal he was giving off earlier. Jared has settled on the bed the best he could, one leg stretched out and the other resting on the floor. Jensen dozes on and off, resting on his side, one arm wrapped around Jared’s waist.

And Jared feels like a total jerk. He shouldn’t have gotten mad at his husband. He’d been worried and his frustration had gotten the best of him. He had known Jensen had been anxious about coming to the hospital and had decided to ignore it, which seems childish and cruel right now.

Dr. Harris sits on the chair near the bed, looking at Jensen’s file. Then she closes it and smiles at the both of them.

“You’re feeling more relaxed now, Jensen?”

“Yeah,” Jensen says, the hint of a Texan drawl in his voice. “Told the nurses not to bother you, knew it was only anxiety.”

“Well, I’m glad they did.”

“It’s my fault,” Jared feels the need to explain. “I should have seen the panic attack coming, but I was upset and-“

“Hey, whoa, what the hell are you talking about?” Jensen lifts his head heavily. “You don’t have anything to do with it, Jay, I’m the one who should’ve been honest with you.”

“It’s not your fault,” Jared replies.

“Jared is right about that,” Dr. Harris says. “Nesting anxiety is hitting you hard, Jensen. It’s something that tends to happen when a human is pregnant from an oviparous were species. You’ve been given an Ativan, you know what that is, right?”

“Of course I do.”

“I think that maybe it’s time we put you on a small daily dosage of anxiety medication, just to make things a little easier for you.”

“No. No meds,” Jensen says in a firm tone. “I know what you’re going to say, that we should consider the benefits of the drug versus the risks-“

“That are barely worth considering.”

“I know.” Jensen clears his throat. “But I prefer not to.”

Dr. Harris looks like she wants to argue for a second, but instead she nods. “Okay, I understand. Is it only being here that makes you so anxious?”

“No, it’s…” Jensen holds on tighter to Jared. “I haven’t been feeling… I don’t know, safe? Back home. I was fine before we went to spend a couple of days at the Island, but now it’s like everything is worse, and huh… I have trouble getting control over it.”

“You need to, for your sake and the baby’s, if you prefer not to take any drugs. You still have seven weeks to go, Jensen. Your body is sending you a clear signal that the anxiety is taking its toll on you. You're having trouble fighting a common cold. I don’t want to be harsh, I just want you to understand the facts. Consider this too: you will have to come back here to give birth eventually. And when you’ll be in labour, having do deal with acute anxiety might make it harder on you.”

Jensen takes a long, shuddering breath, and Jared can’t help but feel irritated at their doctor. Isn’t she supposed to be the one with the solution?

“What can we do about it anyway?” He asks, his voice harsher than he wants.

“Jared, she’s right,” Jensen says. 

“Have you considered other options?” Dr. Harris adds, biting her lower lip. “I mean, as your doctor, I’d like to be the one helping you through your labour and delivery, but maybe a home birth would be best for you. The facts speak for themselves, Jensen. Nesting parents-to-be most often prefer this option, even in the case of a mammal pregnancy. If you want to get in touch with a midwife agency, now would be the time before you’re too close to term.”

“I… I don’t know, I… “ Jensen yawns. “I’m so freaking tired it’s hard to think.”

Dr. Harris stands up and put Jensen’s file back. “Yes, you should rest. I will come back to see you and release you tomorrow morning, if everything goes well. We’ll talk more about the best course of action then.”

“Okay. Thank you… for everything,” Jensen says, making a small waving gesture toward her. 

Jared remains silent. His brain is working hard right now. He can’t believe they’ve come to a point where a home birth is actually on the table. Tim had told him as much, but Jensen had been so adamant about not going down that road. The decision, Jared realizes, isn’t his to make, even though he’s scared as hell something might go wrong. All he can do, really, is support Jensen any way he can.

“You are freaked out,” Jensen murmurs, looking up at him.

“No,” Jared lies. “Not at all.”

“I’m sorry, Jay. What happened, none of this is your fault.”

“Well, I should have been more understanding.”

“And I should have told you how I felt ever since we left the cottage.”

Jared kisses Jensen’s forehead and let the palm of his hand rest against his swollen stomach. Almost immediately, he feels a series of kicks.

“Well, our son doesn’t seem too affected by the pill,” he laughs. “Jensen, maybe you should consider… I mean, I don’t want you to do it if you feel it’s wrong, but-“

“It feels wrong,” Jensen admits. “I don’t want to start taking drugs when I’ve dealt with this for seven months now. I know the risks are virtually non-existent, but it doesn’t change anything at far as how I feel about it.”

“And what about giving birth at home? How does that feel?”

Jensen is silent for a few seconds. Then, he shrugs and shakes his head softly. “Right. It feels right.”

_Of course it does, Jared thinks._

::: :::

Jared isn’t there yet when Dr. Harris comes to visit Jensen the next morning. He’s feeling better, the IV solution and immune system boost did him some good, and with the Ativan, he slept more soundly than he has in the past few days. When he’d woken up at midnight because he needed the bathroom, he’d found his husband all cramped up in the straight chair near the bed, drooling on the hand his head was resting on. Jensen sent him back home, with some persuasion.

Now it’s almost ten o’clock and Jensen is ready to go home. Dr. Harris scheduled an appointment the next week so that they can discuss their “options”, and she reassures Jensen that he can call her if anything goes wrong. _Anything_ , the woman insists, staring at Jensen with intent.

Jensen waits for the nurse to take out his I.V. drip and his fetal monitor, then gets dressed. He's torn between badly needing to get out of this place and giving Jared a couple more hours of a most deserved sleep. He could take a cab, although he’s sure it would upset his husband.

He’s still pondering his best option when Jared walks into the room, looking way too excited and joyful for Jensen not being suspicious at least a little bit.

“You look better,” Jared smiles brightly, bending down to kiss him.

“I’m ready to go. Saw the doctor and everything.”

“Yeah, the head nurse told me. I bet you can’t wait to get out of here, right?”

“Huh. Yeah.”  
Jared walks back outside and reappears with a wheelchair. When Jensen opens his mouth to protest, Jared already has his hand raised up in the air to stop him. “Hospital policy, you know that. Hop in!”

Jensen rolls his eyes but obeys, keeping his jaw clenched and his eyes lowered for the time of the ride. He won’t let his anxiety rise again. He’s so determined to keep his composure that the light of the sun hitting his face and the air blowing around him come as a surprise, a wonderful surprise. 

“Thank god,” he whispers, lifting his face to expose it to the elements.

_Home, soon you’ll be home, and it’s not ideal but you’ll work it out._

Jared hums in the car, driving slowly out of the parking lot. Jared never hums, unless he’s horny or especially proud of himself. Jensen goes for the second option. 

“Okay, what’s going on?”

“Well, I’ve been doing some thinking,” Jared begins.

“Should I be worried?”

“Ha ha. So. I called my father this morning.”

“O-kay…”

“I kind of remembered this guy from the Collins family that owns part of the Island with my parents and the Corteses.”

“Yeah, and?”

Jensen has no idea where this is going.

“I was right. He’s their second degree nephew or something. He’s a midwife. Well, you know, midman, or… is there even a term for when it’s a man? Does Doula cuts it? Because it kind of sounds stupid-“

“Jay, get to the point.”

“Of course Dad knows him. Sometimes I think there isn’t a single soul in all Massachusetts Dad doesn’t know about. His name is Misha Collins, and he’s a weredragon. Although he’s working principally in Boston suburbs, he’s available for those who prefer to give birth home on all the Islands surrounding the Boston area.”

“Jared, what are you getting at?”

“I’m taking you back to Great Brewster Island, Jen. For good. Well… until the baby’s born.”

“What?” Jensen sounds stupefied.

“I’m serious,” Jared takes a quick look at him, smiling. “You were so relaxed there, and I was having a good time too, and since you don’t want to take drugs for the anxiety –which I get, it’s your choice and I respect it- it’s the best place for you to spend the end of your pregnancy.”

Jensen sighs. He appreciates what Jared is trying to do, he does, but this idea… it doesn’t make sense. It wouldn’t be practical.

“Jay, you have to work,” he starts.

“Of course. I’ll take the ferry in the morning, like every other person living on the island that doesn't work there. Or, even simpler, I could fly to work, ask for a special permit.”

“It’s dangerous.”

“No, it’s safe if you follow the legal ways.”

“But… our house.”

“I’ll stop once in a while to make sure everything is okay, mow the lawn, stuff like that.”

Jensen realizes then that Jared has been readying himself for any objection, and a warm feeling rises from the pit of his stomach. Jared has put up with a lot of bullshit from Jensen’s part since the beginning of the pregnancy. It hadn’t been easy for either of them. 

“I love you, Jared,” he says, putting his hand on his husband’s thigh. “And yes, the answer is yes -I want to do this, if it really is okay with you.”

Jensen doesn’t feel like being reasonable right now. He feels like being safe and bringing his son to his due date without going completely crazy.

“Great!” Jared beats a rhythm on the wheels. “We’ll wait until your cold is better and we’ll pack our stuff. My mom will be hysterical about this. And… As for the homebirth… Let’s meet this Misha guy and see how it works. What do you say?”

“Okay. Also -you’re awesome.”

“F’course I am.” 

Jared starts humming again. Jensen lies back on the seat and closes his eyes. He really does feel better now, better than he has in weeks. Giving birth to their son at the Cottage by the Sea doesn’t scare him, it comforts him.

He’s actually looking forward to it.

Jensen begins to hum in tune with Jared.

_To be continued..._


	7. Chapter 7

Misha Collins is a man in his early forties with bright blue eyes and a confident smile. He comes to meet Jared and Jensen at their house, three days after Jensen was released from Boston General. They all sit in the kitchen. Collins takes out a pad and a pen from the bag he’s carrying, while reciting his long years of experience, the college he graduated from, the hospitals he’s affiliated with, and that Jared and Jensen are welcome to call previous clients and ask about their experience with him.

Jared observes him intently. He doesn’t remember ever seeing him on Great Brewster Island before, but then again, the Collins are a big family.

“Any questions before we start?” Collins asks, clapping his hands together.

“Is it a problem for you to come on out to Great Brewster Island, even on short notice?” Jensen asks.

“No, not at all. As I’ve said, I’m used to working on all the Islands in the area. Great Brewster is a place I know well, as you, Mr. Padalecki, would’ve guessed. I assist hatching, sometimes egg laying, and of course mammal birth.”

“Besides, he only has to fly there, Jen.” Jared feels the need to add.

“Well, no,” Collins says with a smile. “I have my own boat.”

“But aren’t you a Collins from-“

“Yes, both my parents are dragons.” He cuts Jared off. “I myself could never shift. Medical mystery. All I've ever been able to do is this.”

He blinks and his eyes slowly go from blue to white, the black pupil turning yellow and stretching on a vertical line. It doesn’t last long. “Can’t even hold it,” Collins adds.

“Oh. I’m sorry,” Jared mumbles.

Misha Collins’ case isn’t unique. It happens, and it’s considered something to b embarrassed about, even though people unable to shift have nothing they can do about it. It’s not a weakness or a lack of will power, it’s simply a genetic issue. 

Luckily, Collins doesn’t seem to have any problem with it. “It’s okay,” he says in a soothing voice. “Nothing to be sorry for.”

“I didn’t even know that could happen,” Jensen adds.

“Well, it’s as rare as a human and a weredragon being able to conceive,” Collins winks at him. 

Jensen smiles a little. So far, he seems to like the man who’s supposed to help him give birth. It’s a good start.

A few minutes later, they are on a first name basis. Misha has already contacted Dr. Harris, with Jared and Jensen’s permission, to get a copy of his file. They’re going through it quickly, then the man closes it and looks at both of them with his intense gaze.

“You’ll probably build a nest at your place on the Island,” he says. “You’ll want to give birth somewhere where you feel safe and comfortable. My job will be to support you and make sure the delivery progresses normally. If anything goes on that needs serious medical assistance, rest assured that we’ll get you to a hospital as quickly as possible.”

Jensen nods. 

“Midwives are taught to follow the lead of the person in labour, and I believe in the approach. I know how nesting can make one feel the need to be in control during the labour, and I’m used to respecting this need –my interventions are only when medically necessary. You’ll need to know I have an obligation to make the environment where you’ll give birth is as hygienic as possible, and you might dislike the fact that I cover your nest with clean sheets for the time of the delivery. That’s the only modification I’ll do, , but you might already start getting used to the idea.”

Jensen’s expression is open and serene. “You’re really getting it,” he murmurs. “The nesting.”

“I’ve had a lot of experience. I’m ready to go with it, Jensen, so you won’t feel like I’m invading your intimacy –well, not too much, hopefully.”

“I’m…” Jared clears his throat. He doesn’t want to sound disrespectful, but it’s the birth of their son they’re talking about, and he can’t help feeling insecure. What if something happens to Jensen, or the baby? They’ll be stranded on an island. He’s ready to do this, if that is what Jensen needs. He just wants to cover his bases. “What happens if the baby’s stuck, or Jensen… I don’t know, hell, I’m not especially eager to learn everything about labour complications but… I know there is an emergency boat service, but it would still take time before Jensen can get transferred to a hospital and-”

“Whoa, way to reassure your pregnant husband,” Jensen jokes, except he looks a little worried.

“There are a lot of medical acts I’m allowed to perform.” The reassuring smile doesn’t quit Misha’s face, and Jared has to wonder if that’s his default setting. “In fifteen years of practice I’ve never faced a problematic I couldn’t handle until the paramedics arrived. I’m perfectly qualified to deal with emergency situations, and we midwives have a strict code: if there is any doubt in my mind that your delivery could be problematic, Jensen, I’ll refer you back to Boston General so you can be medically assisted.”

“Okay,” Jensen says. “So, it’s settled then.”

“It is?” Jared asks.

“Yeah, I mean… If that’s okay with you,” Jensen adds as an afterthought. 

Jared swallows back his own doubts and smile. “Of course.”

Moving to the Island for a couple of months is way less complicated than Jensen anticipated. They are able to leave the day after they met Misha Collins for the first time. Jensen has never liked to pack things up –it always seems like an insurmountable task to him. Apparently not anymore. While Jared is at work, Jensen packs everything up in neat piles, feeling a strange sense of comfort into getting everything in bags. The best part –and that’s why he kept it for last- is to decide which baby stuff to bring with them. It will surely be a couple of weeks after their son’s birth before they move again, so they need about half of everything that’s already in the nursery, without forgetting the best blankets and cushions from the bedroom. Jensen doesn’t have the slightest idea of what will happens once he goes into labour. He doesn’t know if the cerebral part of his mind, the one that’s a trained nurse, will take over the nesting instinct. He doubts it. Better safe than sorry, he thinks, trying to figure out if all the pillows and blankets will fit in the trunk of Jared’s SUV.

They’ll have to. 

When Jared arrives home from work, everything is packed; their bags are aligned neatly near the entry, and Jensen feels a little sore but still good. He can’t believe he actually spent most of his day on a hormone high provoked by packing stuff, but hey, why question it. 

Jared does. Of course. Since Jensen had to be hospitalized, he’s switched to intense protective mode. Jensen tries his best to deal with it, just like Jared deals with his nesting anxiety since the beginning of the pregnancy. 

“You shouldn’t have packed all this by yourself, you should have rested.”

“I’m fine. I took my time. It was nice.”

“Nice,” Jared lifts an eyebrow but doesn’t add anything. 

“So, we only need to stop at the grocery store, right?”

“If we want to catch the six o’clock ferry, yes. Um, Jensen?”

“What?”

Jared is looking at the pile of blankets and pillows on the floor. “I’m not sure it will all fit in the car.”

“It will.”

“Do you need all of them? I mean, surely my mom will-“

“I need them,” Jensen cuts him out, feeling anxiety rising quick and strong inside of him. 

“Okay, no problem, we’ll manage,” Jared says in a soothing voice.

Jensen wants to roll his eyes and protest at the way Jared is speaking to him, like he’s an unreasonable child, but he kind of is when anxiety builds up. Just the thought of not being able to bring everything had him nervous and close to tears, and to be honest, these days, Jensen is getting on his own nerves.

“Sorry,” he mumbles.

“Nothing to be sorry for. So, let’s do this.”

Jared grabs as many bags as he can and starts packing the car.

When they park in front of the cottage, Jensen gets out of the car and runs as fast as he can, which, given his state, looks a little like he’s riding an invisible horse, to the nearest bush and drops onto his knees to throw up. Jared runs after him, saluting his parents whom are waiting for them on the threshold, looking vaguely out of place.

“Are you okay?” Jared asks, bending down to rub his back.

“I am freaking fantastic,” Jensen grunts, spitting. “And wow, your parents were there to witness it all.”

“It’s okay, let’s get inside so that you can rinse your mouth.”

Jensen has been sick twice on the ferry –luckily, he'd came prepared, he’d told Jared, showing him the doubled plastic bags and smiling pathetically. Jared had gotten out of the car to throw the bags away, and suggested to Jensen that maybe they could step on the deck to take in some fresh air.

They'd tried, but the deck was crowded, and Jensen had taken Jared’s arm, squeezing it until it really hurt, and pleaded to go back in the car.

He had succeeded in keeping control until they’d finally reached the cottage, but apparently, the relief he'd felt had translated into something of a mental exhaustion sickness, or well, Jared can’t guess any better than that. It’s been a long day, the supermarket was as crowded as the boat, and even if Jensen affirms that packing was great –great is a adjective Jared would’ve never attributed to the action of packing, but whatever- he’s almost thirty-three weeks pregnant and doesn't have as much energy as he used to.

They pass in front of Jared’s parents, where Sherry seems to melt when she sees Jensen’s greenish face.

“Come inside with me, Gerald and Jared can unpack things.”

Jensen blushes but nods, giving Jared a quick look to validate that he’s okay with it.

Of course, being the man of action that he is, Gerry is already opening the trunk and grabbing two grocery bags.

“Tough ride?” He asks Jared, smiling at him.

“Tough month,” Jared replies, going for the bags in the backseat.

He hears his father snickers and wonder what’s so funny.

Inside the cottage, Jensen looks already better, sitting at the kitchen table drinking a glass of water while Sherry gives him that look she usually reserves for Jared or Megan when they are sick and miserable. She knows about Jensen’s nesting anxiety, of course, and the reasons Jared has decided to move to the cottage until the baby’s born. She’s been nothing but supportive, and seeing her switching to full-on protective dragon mode is somewhat reassuring. Jared will be away for long hours during the week, and he doesn’t want Jensen to be too isolated, even if that’s what Jensen apparently wants.

Jared takes the bags to their room upstairs while Sherry starts to store away the food Gerry has just brought in, shushing Jensen when he tries to say something, most probably that he can do it himself. 

There is a new pile of blankets and cushions, pillows and sheets, waiting on the bed. Jared smiles and puts the bags away, then goes back downstairs just in time to see his father walk in, his arms so full of blankets and pillows only the top of his head is visible.

“Bedroom, I guess?” He asks, his voice muffled.

“Oh, sorry, it’s for…” Jensen blushes, just like Gerry Padalecki has just come in carrying a box of sex toys. 

“Don’t apologise,” Gerry says quickly, already navigating toward the stairs. “You know, when Sherry laid Jared’s egg, she took my favourite sweater and tore it apart to wrap around it.”

Jensen can’t help but smile. Sherry looks unfazed. She shrugs. “It was ugly, but it was the softest wool ever.”

“Awww, mom, you are adorable,” Jared answers, grabbing his mother in his arms and lifting her from his feet, knowing how much she hates it.

“Let me down or I’ll tell Jensen how you thought parents made babies until you were twelve.”

Jared obeys immediately, even though now he knows Jensen won’t drop the ball until he’s told the story himself. 

“I know,” he says, lifting both hands while Jensen gives him an amused look. “I’ll tell you later.”

Life is good, Jensen thinks, looking at the flames dancing in the fireplace, fighting sleep. It’s close to ten o’clock, but they’ve just finished eating and he wants to wait for Jared to be done with the dishes before going to bed together.

Jensen had occupied his time arranging their bed –their nest, let’s call things for what they are- while Jared was cooking, after his parents had left, and it had felt so satisfying Jensen had forgotten the crappy trip to get here.

Now he is wrapped up in a blanket, tucked in the corner of the couch, feeling the enveloping warmness of the fireplace relaxing him, while his son is apparently learning kickboxing inside his belly.

“Easy now,” he murmurs, rubbing his stomach. “You’re gonna bruise my liver, baby.”

“He’s moving?” Jared asks, suddenly bent over the back of the couch, his long bangs tickling Jensen’s cheek.

“He’s punching and kicking,” Jensen winces at something that might be a foot or a fist hitting his left side hard. “Look at this, you don’t even have to touch.”

Jensen untangles himself and lifts his shirt. His belly is changing form quickly: a stump there on the right, then another, making his navel pop up even more, then a sudden wave that ripples from left to right.

“Holy shit,” Jared whispers in awe.

“I think I can grab his foot,” Jensen says, making a gesture for Jared to come and sit next to him.

It’s a game that Jensen had started playing. When the baby stretches, one of his foot always pushes to the right, and if he’s quick enough, he can grab it, which automatically translate into his son wiggling even more to try and get free. 

“You can do that?”

“Yeah I… Wait, there.” Jensen shows Jared the little bump that’s already slipping between his fingers. 

Jared’s eyes are huge. “Wait, can’t you hurt him?”

“No, I can’t hurt him,” Jensen laughs. “It’s… I don’t know, it’s special, feeling so connected with him.”

Jared sighs, dragging Jensen close to him by wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “Wish I could feel the connection, I mean… Everything, like, you’re carrying him and all those emotions you have and… I don’t know. It’s just hard sometimes.”

“What?” Jensen asks, although he thinks he knows what his husband is talking about. “Feeling you’re left out, right?”

“No, it’s not… Not your fault, Jensen. I suppose every partner of a pregnant person feels the same.”

“I’m sorry, Jay.”

Jared is already shaking his head. “You did nothing wrong.”

“Oh, but I did.”

“Jen-“

“Don’t interrupt me, I need to say this,” Jensen cuts Jared out.

He does. He’s aware of the erratic way he had behaved for the past month or so, even though everyone says he couldn’t help it, maybe he should’ve been more opened about it, at least.

Well, not maybe. He _should_ have, period.

“You put up with a lot of stuff, Jared,” he says slowly. “And sometimes I’m so trapped in my own misery I forget that it’s not easy for you either. And you react by doing everything for me, so that I can be alright, feel safe. No matter how much more work it means for you, you still come through. And it makes me realize once again how lucky I am to have you.”

Jared snorts and shakes his head. “Hey, I was the giant sap before you got pregnant.”

“Wow, I’m like, spilling my guts here and you react by insulting me?” Jensen jokes, turning his head so that he can catch Jared’s mouth and kiss him.

“We’ll be alright, here,” he says afterward, and he believes it. “Let’s try to make the two months that are left the best part of this pregnancy.”

“Alright,” Jared says, stretching his leg to let them rest on the coffee table. “So, maybe we should start by picking up a name.”

Jensen shakes his head vigorously. “Nope. No more fights about a name.”

“No?”

“No. We’ll wait and see what this little guy looks like,” Jensen states, pointing at his belly. “Maybe we won’t feel so much like arguing when we’ll hold him in our arms for the first time.”

“Okay, then,” Jared agrees.

Jensen yawns and tucks himself closer to Jared’s, feeling serene and at peace. Yes, life is good.

Time flies by. By mid-September, Jared and Jensen are already settled in a new routine. Jared takes the ferry every morning –he has weighed the pros and cons of flying to work, and the time he saves isn’t that significant compared to the complications of finding a place to land near his workplace, keeping clothes there, and dealing with the weather. He figures if he needs to get to the cottage quickly, he’ll always have the option, and he made his official request for a flight permit.

Jensen is usually still asleep when Jared leaves. He calls around noon and they chat. Jared takes the four o’clock ferry and is back home before five pm, thanks to Genevieve and the other catering employees always being ready to cut him some slack. 

They eat dinner early, and then go out for a walk. Jensen says he needs the exercise, he hasn’t moved much through the summer and feels rusty. He’s slow and careful, already wearing a hat, a winter coat and gloves. Jared stays near him most of the time, shifting only when the urge is too great, when he sees other weredragons flying up in the autumn sky or when Jensen urges him to do so, stating that he loves seeing Jared’s were form, although Jared suspects it’s only for his own sake his husband does it.

After their walk, Jensen is more often than not already tired enough to go to bed. He sleeps less soundly these days, woken up by his hyperactive bladder, or the baby moving too much or unable to find a comfortable position. It’s normal, small aches and pains are expected to happen toward the end of the pregnancy. Those are Misha’s words, not Jared’s. The midwife has already visited them once it was reassuring for Jared: observing the man taking Jensen’s vitals, measuring his stomach, feeling the baby inside, weighing him. Misha’s suitcase he drags with him is enormous: he calls it his medical cart. Seeing him in action is validating the fact that he’s actually competent. Not that Jared should have doubted it, because his experience, credits, and references speak for themselves, but seeing is believing, right?

Jensen will still have to travel back to Boston at the beginning of October, because Dr. Harris wants to do another sonogram to be sure everything is alright. She doesn’t have any problems working with the midwive, she even said Jensen wouldn’t in better hands, but Misha’s bag, as big as it is, can’t carry a sonogram machine. Jared knows his husband isn’t looking forward to the trip but is reasonable about it. With the way he’s felt since they moved back here, his anxiety almost completely gone, as Jensen says, he can endure a little bit of stress.

What Jensen is doing of his days is pretty simple. He rests a lot, he watches some TV, he reads those huge books about raising children –they were piled up on the coffee table back in their home in Boston without being opened. Jensen says that he now feels in the right mood. He also spends some time with Jared’s mother. She’s teaching him to knit. Jared had the hardest time not bursting out laughing the first time he came back from work and found Jensen sitting on the couch, manipulating two knitting needles clumsily, a ball of wool at his feet, his tongue sticking out in concentration. He didn’t, and gave himself an imaginary medal, because according to Jensen, knitting is the most soothing activity ever and he doesn’t understand why he didn’t pick up on it earlier. That’s good, even though the scarf he’s presently knitting is uneven and has a couple of holes. Who cares? Jensen is so proud of himself. He says that a scarf is only the first step and that he can’t wait to finish it for Jared so that he can start a pair of mittens for their son.

Jared will wear the scarf proudly.

The weekends aren’t that different. Jared does the more physical chores Jensen couldn’t do during the week, he cooks meals that can be heated for the week to come. There are more walks, more cuddling on the couch and watching TV together. Jared loves when Jensen asks him for a back or a foot rub, when he needs help and admits it freely. Not that Jared likes his husband feeling the aches and pains of a pregnancy coming to term, but it makes him feel useful, and it really is a good sensation.

The only time Jared and Jensen get into some kind of a fight is the day before Jensen’s appointment in Boston. Jared should’ve known better: Jensen was in a nervous and impatient mood that morning, stating that he hadn’t slept well.

When Jared comes back from work, he hears him call from the second floor.

“I need help,” Jensen says in a panting voice.

“Coming!”

There is a storm outside, heavy rain, and the ferry has been delayed. Jared is tired and hungry and wet just from walking from the car to the front door, so he might not be in the best mood when he gets to their bedroom.

He doesn’t expect all the blankets, pillows and cushions to be scattered on the floor, the set of drawers pushed in a corner and the bed naked of everything except the mattress.

“What the hell? Jen?”

Jensen stretches his back and points at the bed. “We need to get the mattress on the floor.”

“Why?”

“’cause there,” Jensen crouches near the middle of the room and put his hand flat on the wooden floor. “There, it’s warmer. That’s because of the fireplace downstairs. I want… We should sleep there and then when it’s time to give birth it will be the perfect place.”

“On the floor?”

Jared doesn’t understand. Plus, he’s not exactly looking for sleeping on the floor for the upcoming weeks. 

“Yes, come on, help me,” Jensen says impatiently.

He holds onto the wall to stands up, almost loses his balance and Jared is there in an instant. Jensen bats his hand away. “Take your side, it’s not that heavy.”

“Jensen,” Jared sighs, trying to remain calm. “I’m not sure it’s a good idea.”

Jensen snaps, his already red face turning to a worrying shade of crimson, and downright pushes Jared’s away, pressing both hands on his chest.

“Then I’ll do it myself.”

He grabs the corner of the mattress and starts pulling. Jared stops him by immobilizing his hand. “Jensen, calm down, you don’t make any sense.”

“Let me go,” Jensen snarls, pulling his arm away. 

“We can’t sleep on the floor! It’s too hard, you already have trouble sleeping, and-“

“Shit, Jared, stop it! You’re treating me like a child, again. Like this is some kind of caprice, or tantrum or… What does it matter to you, really? You don’t have to sleep there with me if you don’t wanna, just unfold the damn couch downstairs and you’ll have a perfect bed.”

Jared doesn’t want things to deteriorate, but he’s angry, and he knows it shows when he lifts both hands in the air and yells. “Fine! Get out of the way.”

Jared grabs the damn mattress and throws it on the floor, Jensen backing off just before it hits his feet. 

“Jay,” he murmurs, no traces of anger in his voice anymore.

“I’m going to cook dinner,” Jared cuts him off, storming out of the room.

The house is silent while Jared works. He starts with quick, exasperated gestures, but calms down gradually. By the time the spaghetti is cooking and the Bolognese sauce is simmering, he downright feels miserable. And guilty. 

Damn it.

Jensen hadn’t followed him downstairs. When the table is dressed and it’s time to eat, Jared hesitates before walking to the bottom of the stairs. 

“Dinner’s ready!” He calls, except what he really wants to say is that he’s sorry he lost his temper.

He waits nervously by the table, looking at the clock and growing more and more nervous with each minute that passes.

Four, to be exact. By then, Jared is sure Jensen must have had a panic attack and is passed out on the damn floor. He runs up the stairs, calling his name, his heart beating hard and fast in its own ears.

Jensen is on the floor, but he’s not passed out or in any danger. He’s kneeling next to the mattress, fluffing a pillow. All the blankets and cushions have been placed carefully. Seeing his husband concentrating so hard, trying to work over his huge belly, short of breath, makes Jared feel a hundred times worse. 

“Dinner…” he whispers, unable to get the right words to come out of his mouth. 

Jensen looks up at him. “Yeah, I’m… I’m almost finished.” He smiles a little, scratches the back of his head. “I uh, there are a lot of layers over the mattress, you know, I don’t think it will feel that hard, so maybe…”

Jensen shrugs and sits back on his heels. 

“I’m sorry,” Jared is finally able to get out.

“No, I am. I shouldn’t have yelled, shouldn’t have pushed you,” Jensen says, lowering his eyes. He snorts derisively. “You’re right. It doesn’t make a lot of sense, but when I had the idea, I… could not _not_ do it, you know?”

Jared sighs and goes to sit on the floor next to him. “I was tired and I took it out on you.”

“You have every right to be tired.”

“I don’t have the right to yell at my eight months pregnant husband who’s having all those nesting urges because of me.”

Jensen shakes his head. “Hey, it’s okay, really. We, huh… we can put it back if you really think I’m going nuts.”

“Do you want to put it back?”

Jensen looks at the nest, then back at Jared, biting his bottom lip. “Not really?” He finally says, lifting an eyebrow.

“Then it’s okay. Let’s… just, let’s get downstairs and eat, alright? Start the evening over.”

Jensen nods, then shifts uncomfortably, trying to get his legs in a position that will allow him to get up.

“Okay, no, I need some help,” he pants.

“That’s what I’m here for.”

Yes, that’s what he’s supposed to do, not making Jensen feels even less confident in his nesting urges by calling him out on it, Jared thinks. Helping Jensen up, he realizes how vulnerable and fragile he’s become, how different from the confident, reasonable and logic man he always was. It’s not the first time since the beginning of the pregnancy, but now, as Jensen is so close to term, it twists something visceral in Jared’s guts. Without overthinking it, as soon as he’s helped Jensen up, he wraps his arms around him and presses his husband against himself, as close as he can with his belly in the way.

Jensen freezes for a second, then slowly wraps his arms around Jared’s waist, murmuring in his shoulder. “We’re having a moment, aren’t we?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, then.”

Dr. Harris takes her time during their last appointment. She verifies the baby’s position with the sonogram, even though she can feel that he’s already turned, his head near Jensen’s pelvis in the birthing position. They don’t see much during the sonogram because their son is too big to have a good view, but Dr. Harris takes all the measurements and declares that everything is perfect.

Jensen is doing well, too. He gained a couple of pounds, which has Jared smiling at him like he’s accomplished some kind of exploit. His blood pressure is good as well, and Dr. Harris says he looks way more relaxed and healthy than the last time she saw him. Jensen jokes that she would’ve been way more impressed if he didn’t have to suffer through the ferry ride and the traffic jam to get to the clinic. 

She’s right, though. Jensen does feel better and relaxed. He had no trouble at all controlling his anxiety on the boat, and although the traffic jam in downtown Boston was a little more difficult to deal with, it never got to a point where Jensen felt physically sick.

“So, that’s it, then?” Jared asks while helping Jensen to sit back in front of the doctor’s desk.

“Yes, I’ll contact Mr. Collins to share the information, but yeah, you’re good to go, Jensen. Of course, if there is anything happening that worries you, I’ll be available. And huh…” Dr. Harris smiles and plays with her pen. “I might make an exception and do a home visit once this little wonder is born,” she adds, pointing at Jensen’s stomach. “If you don’t mind.”

It touches Jensen, enough for his throat to swell and his eyes to begin feeling itchy. Maybe it’s the whole meaning of this last visit that gets to him. The birth of his son is approaching, and even though Jensen knows it logically –it’s not like he’s going to carry his belly around forever- it still feels like it’s a revelation. So cliché to think about that, but yes, soon they will be a family of three, and nothing will ever be the same, which fills him with terror and amazement at the same time.

“Thank you, so much, for everything you’ve done,” he says, voice trembling a little and yes, here comes the damn tears, and he can’t do anything to stop them. “Of course we would love to…”

He can’t go on, too busy swallowing back a sob and blinking as quickly as he can. Jared takes his hand and finishes the sentence for him. “We would love for you to visit us and our son.”

Smiling playfully, Dr. Harris pushes the box of Kleenex she has on her desk toward him. He grabs a couple groaning. “I don’t even know why I’m crying,” he explains, hiccupping.

“Hormones,” Dr. Harris says in a stern voice.

“You know, I used to be like you,” Jensen smiles through his tears. “Do you have kids, Dr. Harris?”

“Not yet.”

“We’ll see how you like it when someone talks about your hormones.”

Jared bursts out laughing. Dr. Harris blushes a little and then, seeing that Jensen meant it to be a joke, smiles widely. She gets up from behind her desk and bends awkwardly over Jensen, hugging him. “You are adorable.”

“Doesn’t help your cause.”

“And very brave,” she adds, whispering in his ear.

And all of sudden, that’s how Jensen feels. He hugs her back.

_To be continued_


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am truly sorry for the delay. RL was kicking my ass.  
> <3

Chapter 8

It starts early in the afternoon on October 16. The day has been uneventful so far, as they always are lately, which means that Jensen has dozed on the couch in front of the fireplace most of the morning, because he hadn’t slept much the previous night. He got up six times –he counted- to go to the bathroom, only to barely pee at all, and he tried to eat lunch, but the acid reflux had prevented him from taking more than a couple of bites of his peanut butter sandwich. He had waddled back to the couch and tried to finish the first baby mitten he’s working on, but it was too uncomfortable to remain in a sitting position and he'd bailed. Instead, he'd lain on his side with a book about controlling labour pain with breathing and meditating exercises. 

He feels completely useless these days, like a washed-up whale on shore that can’t do anything but wait. Jensen is plagued by a bone-deep exhaustion and constant drowsiness, and sometimes just getting up in the morning feels like an impossible task.

He’s thirty-eight weeks along, and since he hit the famous thirty-seventh week mark –the point in a pregnancy where they won’t try to stop the contractions if labour begins -he’s been pleading silently for his son to get out already. Ready or not, however the unknown can seem scary (like yesterday evening when Jared suddenly stopped doing the dishes and started pacing with a panicked look on his face. “Oh my god, we’re gonna have a baby, how are we supposed to take care of a baby, Jensen?” To which Jensen had replied sternly that it was a bit too late to send it back.) Jensen wants that baby out, preferably yesterday. 

He doesn’t really know what prompts him suddenly, but he finds himself standing up as quickly as he can and climbing the stairs to his bedroom, standing in the doorway and staring, wondering what is wrong with it.

Nothing has changed. The bed frame, which Jared pulled up against a wall to give them more space, is still in the same place. The mattress is buried under a pile of pillows, cushions, and comforters, meticulously arranged by Jensen –it’s the first thing he does every morning, he hates seeing his nest all messed up after a night of sleep. It’s warm enough, the windows are closed and the curtains drawn, just like it should be.

But still, something is wrong.

“It’s not enough…” Jensen murmurs, and he’s surprised when the words come out loud.

Without even realizing what he’s doing, Jensen is rummaging through the closet, trying to find soft fabric in his and Jared’s clothes. He’s grabbing sweaters and hoodies, even a couple of pair of sleeping pants, carrying them to the nest.

Still not enough.

Going back downstairs, Jensen takes his cell phone and calls Jared’s parents. He’s sweating heavily, droplets falling from his forehead to his eyelashes, making his shirt cling to his body.

Sherry Padalecki answers on the second ring. Jensen tries to speak but can’t, he’s breathing too fast. What the hell is going on? He can’t even think straight anymore, all that comes to mind is his nest, the need to prepare it correctly.

“Jensen, honey, what’s the matter?” Sherry asks.

“I huh…” Jensen tries to control his breathing. “Would you have some more blankets and pillows you could lend me?”

“Are you okay?”

Jensen sits on the couch. No, he’s not. His legs are shaking. He sees tiny dots crossing his vision like shooting stars. He wipes the sweat away from his face.

“I don’t know, my nest, it’s not… It’s not done, it’s not enough. I thought it would be but-“

“Jensen? Listen to me.”

Jensen obeys, breathing heavily through his nose. 

“It’s a sign.”

“Whu-what?”

“That you’re about to go into labour.”

“I haven't had any contractions,” Jensen protests weakly.

“When a weredragon feels like it’s time to lay its egg, she sometimes goes into a nest-building frenzy. It’s a sign the body gives that it’s-“

“But I’m not about to lay an egg,” Jensen counters in a doubtful voice.

The frank burst of laughter at the other end of the line somehow reassures him. Sherry has been a constant source of comfort and understanding since Jared and he had moved to the Island.

“Of course not, honey. What about I come to pay you a little visit? Would you mind?”

“No, of course.”

Jensen’s breathing evens out. Still, he feels the need to add one thing. “Would you still lend me a couple of blankets?”

“I’m already in front of the linen closet.”

“Thank you. So much.”

::: :::

It’s three in the afternoon, and Jared is checking the delivery list with Genevieve one last time. It’s been a quiet day. Jared has learned to appreciate them, even though it means less money for the business. Mondays are always slow. It’s an opportunity to get ahead until the always crazy-busy Fridays.

His cell phone rings loudly, interrupting Genevieve mid-sentence. It’s the ringtone Jared reserves for Jensen, plain but high and annoying. He doesn’t want to miss a call because he didn't hear it.

As it has since the beginning of October, Jared’s heartbeat skips a notch when he answers.

“Jensen, are you-“

“I’m fine,” comes his husband’s voice. “Jay, listen to me and please don’t panic.”

Jared feels his blood draining from his face, literally. “Oh my god.”

“Your mother thinks I might be in the early stage of labour.”

“Oh my god, I’m coming, I’m-“

“Jay?”

“I’ll be there-“

“Jay, listen to me. It might be nothing. I don’t even have contractions yet.”

Jared stops walking. He finds himself in the middle of the kitchen and doesn’t have any idea how he got there. He can see Genevieve looking at him curiously by the open door of their office, where she’s still seated.

“But then why?”

“It’s probably nothing, just a little nesting anxiety and… you know.” Jensen laughs nervously. “Sherry wanted me to call you and Misha just in case, but you can finish your day and-“

“Jensen. I have no idea what’s going on.” Jared tries real hard to think calmly.

“Okay, well.” Jensen sighs loudly at the other end of the line. “I took half of our clothes to rearrange the nest, and I still thought I needed more so I called your mom. She says it’s a sign, like my body is getting ready for the birth and also well… It’s hot.”

“You’re hot?”

“Not me: my belly. The skin is red and feels really hot to the touch, and your mom said…”

Jared misses the end of the sentence, too busy panicking about leaving work, making huge signs to Genevieve. If his mother, the calmest person he knows, has told Jensen to call him and Misha, it must be because something is happening, or will soon. Jensen seems a little embarrassed about the whole thing, but the nervousness that’s lying below the hesitation and uncertain tone is unmistakable. 

An idea suddenly pops in his mind. “So, what did Misha say?”

“…Were you listening to me? He said he’d come.”

“I’ll be there as soon as possible.”

“Jared, just don’t go all crazy over this.”

“Of course not.”

Five minutes later, Jared is on the roof of the building, ready to shift.

::: :::

Jensen is standing at the window looking outside at the wind blowing almost violently, lifting the leaves from the ground and tearing off some that are still attached to branches. He absent-mindedly rubs his hand over his belly and is surprised to find it as hot as it was earlier. He can’t identify how he feels right now. Doesn’t know how he’s supposed to feel. 

“How are you doing, Jensen?” Sherry asks, shoving a cup of tea in his hands.

“I… I don’t know. It seems like we’re making a fuss over nothing,” he admits, relishing the warmth of the cup he’s holding.

“Trust me, I wouldn’t have told you to call Jared and your midwife if I wasn’t certain.”

“But I feel fine, just… I don’t know. Keep wanting to go back upstairs to make sure my nest is okay.”

“That right there is-“

Sherry's sentence is interrupted by a loud noise suddenly breaking through the howling wind outside. Jared’s dark dragon form is landing right in front of them, covered in water droplets, its large wings flapping. As soon as the paws touch the ground, Jared crouches and shifts. It’s a matter of seconds before his wet, naked, human body is replacing his dragon’s form.

“Oh, lord,” Sherry, murmurs, turning away from the window.

“He flew here in this weather,” Jensen grunts. “Of course.”

“I’m going to grab a couple of towels from the bathroom,” Sherry announces, still looking away, which would be funny if Jensen wasn’t so exasperated by his husband’s behaviour. This is no weather for flying. Jensen isn’t an expert and even he knows this.

“The towels aren’t in the bathroom anymore,” he suddenly remembers, speaking out loud enough for Sherry to hear him.

“Can I grab one from your nest?” She asks without even questioning why there aren't any towels in the bathroom anymore, for which Jensen is glad, and even though his instincts are rebelling against someone touching his nest, he shuts them up.

“Yes, of course.”

He hears Sherry climbing upstairs at the same time as the entry door opens. Taking a deep breath to try and keep his emotions under control, he goes to find Jared who’s dripping on the entry’s carpet and looking a tad crazy. 

“What the hell were you thinking?” Jensen snaps, shoving an angry finger into Jared’s chest, and yes, there goes his control. “You could have hurt yourself, you moron, I told you it wasn’t urgent!”

“How are you feeling?” Jared asks, short of breath, ignoring what Jensen just said.

“I’m fine!” Jensen lifts his arms in exasperation. “I told you I was. Jesus.”

“Well, sorry for worrying about you,” Jared snaps back, crossing his arms. “My husband might be in labour and I’m supposed to patiently wait for the four o’clock ferry?”

“Exactly!” Jensen is close to screaming now. “What good would it have done me if something had happened to you? The freaking storm of the century is coming up!”

“Yes, and you know as well as I do that the ferry could have been delayed, and by the way, I am the weredragon here and I know how to fly without endangering myself.” 

“Oh, that’s just-“

Jensen stops. He’s just felt something. Something definitely weird.

“Jen?”

There it comes again. It’s like something is giving way inside of him, and then a strange sensation like a soft snap, or a balloon popping.

And then a warm liquid is suddenly seeping from his body, wetting his crotch and his thighs. Surprised, shocked even, Jensen holds on to the wall with one arm, looking down at the large dark patch growing rapidly on his paternity jeans.

“Oh, shit.”

“Did you…” Jared takes a step closer. “Your water broke.”

“I think so,” Jensen murmurs. “I… it’s still flowing. It’s so…”

“Oh my god,” Jared whispers. 

Jensen tries to breathe calmly. He hears his mother-in-law’s footsteps behind him, then Jared saying in a panicked voice. “Mom, his water just broke.”

“For God's sake, Jared, cover yourself,” Sherry replies, throwing a towel at her son.

They keep on talking, but Jensen doesn’t hear them. He’s too busy wondering what is the burning sensation at the small of his back, and why his belly is tensing until it's as hard as a rock.

::: :::

Jared knows the next contraction is coming when Jensen grabs his pillow harder. Sitting back on the mattress, he starts massaging Jensen’s lower back, asking him in a low, calm voice if he’s alright. Jensen nods, keeping his eyes closed shut, and lets out a small moan. Jared looks at his watch. The contractions are still ten minutes apart.

When Jared feels Jensen’s body relaxing again, he kisses his cheek. “There, it’s over,” he says in the same soothing tone. 

It’s ten o’clock in the evening, and for the past couple of hours, Jensen has been dozing on and off between his contractions. Before he’d decided to get some rest, Misha had checked him for the second time. He was four centimetres dilated. The contractions don’t seem to have grown in intensity since then. They hurt, Jensen says, like he has a band of fire compressing him from his belly to his lower back. He still looks like he's managing it well. He’s breathing through the contractions, doing the meditation exercises he’s practiced with Misha, and says it’s not that bad. Jared is impressed by his husband’s calm. Impressed, and a little scared; of not being able to back him up properly, of still feeling left out of this, even of his son’s own birth.

This isn’t something he resents Jensen for. Jensen is… well, being downright fantastic. Incredible. For everything he’s been through and has dealt with since he got pregnant, now that he’s actually so close to birth, he seems so serene and in control that it's throwing Jared off a little, making him question his own abilities. 

“I'm going downstairs for a couple of minutes,” he whispers into Jensen’s ear. “I’ll be back before the next one.”

Jensen smiles, his eyes still closed. “S’okay, baby, I’m fine.”

He’s tired enough to let a light sleep take him between the contractions. He’s settled on his left side in the middle of his nest of pillows and blankets, almost on his belly really, with his right leg propped up on two pillows. Misha helped him into this position, saying that it would probably be the most comfortable, and he was right. Jensen had asked Jared to cover him with a thick blanket and has barely moved in the last two hours.

Jared finds Misha sitting in the kitchen, reading a book he brought with him. Sherry had decided to leave around six o’clock to give them some intimacy and since then, the house has been very quiet.

“So?” Misha asks, lifting his eyes from his book.

“He’s… He’s okay. I guess.” Jared drags a chair over to sit, but just can’t go through with it and starts pacing instead. There's an energy building up in him that makes him wanna shift, like an itch running under his skin.

“Shouldn’t you check him? It’s been two hours,” he asks Misha.

“No, it’s preferable to let the early stage of labour run its course without intervening too much. He’s still resting between the contractions?”

“Yes.”

Misha had told Jared to come and get him if the contractions were getting closer or more intense, neither of which had happened yet.

“It’s good, he needs his strength for later.”

“But why does it take so long, what if the dilation of the cervix is complete and he just doesn’t know it or feel it?”

Misha tries hard to repress a smile. 

“Am I saying stupid stuff?” Jared feels abashed.

“No, no you’re not, I’m sorry,” Misha says, standing up. “Just… Jared, you can be certain Jensen will feel it when it’s time to push. Hey, you’re nervous, it’s okay.”

Jared nods. “I just… I don’t know what to do, I’m… It’s…”

Misha’s gaze is both piercing and soft at the same time, like he can stare directly into your soul. After a few seconds, Jared already feels calmer.

“You are doing great. All you can do is support him, and so far, that’s what you’ve done. Now, we all have to let Jensen’s body work on its own terms and wait it out. He’s doing well.”

“Okay, okay. I’ll go back to him.”

“You do that. And trust me, when it's time for the labour to pick up pace, you’ll know it.”

::: :::

“Holy shit that one hurt. Fuck, fuck, Jared, I can’t breathe I can’t-“

Jensen lets out a growl and shoves his head into the crook of his arms. Being on his hands and knees seems to relieve some of the pressure on his back, but the contractions still hurt a lot, enough to make him shed tears of pain. All the meditation exercises don’t do anything anymore. According to Misha, who checked him right before this contraction started, he’s eight centimetres dilated. And the contractions keep getting closer and longer. There is barely five minutes between each.

It’s a half an hour past midnight. Jared feels so damn useless that it makes him want to cry too, seeing Jensen suffering so much. All he can do is stay with him on the mattress and massage his back, speak to him to try to calm him down, and let him crush Jared's hand as hard as he wants.

Misha is getting everything ready for the arrival of the baby on a small table he’s brought with him. He’s the only one that’s calm right now; patient, confident, and quiet. Jared kinds of want to punch the unperturbed expression off his face, as irrational as it seems. How can everything be alright if Jensen is in so much pain? How can the midwife be sure the baby isn’t in distress, or stuck? 

“Almost over now,” he tells Jensen in a voice that’s trembling despite his best efforts.

Misha kneels next to them, pressing a cold towel on Jensen’s neck. “That’s it, you’re doing great,” he affirms. 

“I’m not doing great, this hurt like hell,” Jensen mumbles in a tired voice before falling back on his side, taking a long shuddering breath.

“I know,” Misha says, wiping the sweat away from his face. It’s red and glistening, with darker spots on his cheeks. Jensen’s lips are all swollen because he's biting them so much. Jared hates to see the look of pain his husband gives him with blood-shot eyes.

“I have Fentanyl with me, you remember, right?” Misha tells Jensen. “If you want a shot, it could relieve some of the pain.”

“No, no drugs,” Jensen answers stubbornly.

“Jen, Misha said it’s okay, it won’t hurt the baby.” Jared tries not to sound frustrated. Why in hell would Jensen refuse something that could help him get through this?

“Can cause… drowsiness, respiratory depression and nausea… for the baby… so close to his birth,” Jensen explains between pants.

“The side-effects are rare, I’ve explained it to you, right?” Misha insists softly.

“I don’t want it!” Jensen protests in anger. “Stop trying to convince me!”

Jared opens his mouth to say something, but one look from Misha makes him keep quiet. 

This is hell, Jared thinks. The dragon in him roars, all protective instincts ramped up into high gear. He wants to burn something, just for the pleasure of releasing his frustration in some way. He almost jumps when Jensen asks for some water, eager to do something, anything.

And it’s not over yet.

::: :::

Somewhere along the line, Jensen feels like he’s lost himself. As the contractions got stronger and closer together, the pressure between his legs almost unbearable, he’s progressively felt like he was drifting off. Now there is this strange feeling that nothing exists past his little nest of pain, like the universe itself has dissolved, leaving him suffering in the burning cocoon of his labour. When Jared isn't touching him, it’s like he just ceases to exist, and it’s scary. Jensen doesn’t want to let go of whatever is left of his control, and holding on to Jared helps. When a contraction comes and he shifts position, trying to get on all fours to relieve some pressure, Jared’s hands massaging his back aren’t enough anymore. Jensen has to reach out to grab him, let it be a leg or a foot, just to feel the connection.

He’s aware that he’s moaning and crying through the pain. Sometimes Misha’s voice pierces the burning walls around him, telling him to breath, to concentrate on the exercises they practiced together, how to reach that place in his mind where the pain doesn’t have any power over him, but it doesn’t work anymore. Jensen is nothing but pain, and by the time he calms down when one contraction is over, the next one is already building up, and he falls again.

“I can’t do this anymore,” he croaks after an especially painful one. He falls back on his side and lets out a dry sob. Jared is there, hovering, running fingers through his hair, rubbing his back, telling him to hold on, that it will be over soon. 

Jensen reaches to grab his hand and presses it, hard. He’s cold and hot at the same time, shivering all over, even his teeth are chattering. When the next contraction comes, he’s shaking so much Jared has to help him get back in position, and even then, Jensen can’t keep it. His extended arms collapse and his shoulders give up. He presses his face on the pillow and growls.

The contraction reaches its peak, and Jensen waits for the pain to finally subside, except this time it’s different -the pressure in his belly doesn’t go away but gets lower and lower, concentrating between his legs. There is a gush of warm liquid dripping along his thighs. Jensen tries to catch his breath, enough to say that something is different, when something pushes down there, hard.

“I think you’re completely dilated,” Misha tells him. “Can I examine you, Jensen?” 

Jensen nods, unable to say more. Then it’s like the cocoon he’s been trapped into suddenly evaporates despite the pain. He can feel everything, every nerve in his body, can see the colors of the room, Jared’s eyes looking back at him, he can hear Misha, and the noise of latex gloves being put on. 

“He’s ready,” he says, and Jensen’s not scared anymore. 

“I know,” he agrees. “It’s time to push.” 

::: :::

The look on Jensen’s face as Misha checks him is impressive. He’s gone from completely lost in the last centimetres of dilatation to determined and calm. Jared peeks between his legs, careful not to block the light from Misha.

“I know I’m completely dilated,” Jensen repeats.

“Yes, you are,” Misha answers, his fingers still inside.

Jared doesn’t see anything different, except that there is blood and secretions, some more amniotic liquid slipping out, and everything seems more swollen. 

“Plus, the cervix has softened, and I can feel the baby’s head. You won’t be pushing for long,” Misha adds, taking his fingers out just in time for Jensen to wince and turn on his side.

“Don’t want to push like that,” he pants as Jared resumes his position massaging his back.

“Okay, alright, what do you want to try?” Misha asks. 

During Misha’s last visit, he'd showed them an array of different positions to use during the contractions, to help push the baby out more efficiently. Jared doesn’t remember everything they’ve practiced, he’s too caught up in the surreal feeling of the moment, like his brain can’t process the fact that this pregnancy is finally coming to an end -that soon his husband is going to give birth to their son.

“Knees, on my knees,” Jensen is saying, lifting himself up. “Shit, shit, I need to push real bad.”

He looks wild, his grey tee-shirt clinging to his chest, naked from the waist down, his hair plastered against his head, drenched in sweat. Misha is quickly arranging a long thick sheet underneath him, and Jared, well, Jared just stays where he is, sitting on the floor near the mattress, looking at both of them, unable to move.

“Jay, fuck, come on!” Jensen urges.

“What? What am I…?”

“It’s okay, we’ve done this, remember?” Misha tells him, “Get up on your knees, stay on the floor so Jensen will have more leverage.”

The midwife is practically manhandling Jared around. As soon as he’s settled, Jensen gets closer and wraps his arms around his neck, shoving his face there. “Come on,” he whispers in a desperate, strained voice. “You gotta hold me, need you, Jay.”

Jared blinks. The heat of Jensen’s body against his, so alive, shaking and shivering, his belly so hard and hot resting against Jared’s stomach, is what finally gets him out of his stupor. He remembers he’s supposed to hold Jensen up while he’s pushing and slides his arms under his husband’s armpits and around his upper back. “I got you, Jen,” he says, trying to sound confident. “I got you, you can do this.”

Misha is sitting behind Jensen, and the hell if Jared knows how he’s supposed to see the baby coming, hell if he cares, because right then Jensen parts his legs and pushes, his grip tightening around Jared’s neck, a low moan escaping his mouth, vibrating against Jared’s chest.

“Good, Jensen, you’re doing good,” Misha says in a quiet voice. 

Jensen’s body relaxes suddenly and he lets his weight drop forward, trusting Jared to hold him up. “I can feel him getting lower,” he croaks, looking up at Jared. 

“Wow, you’re… wow,” is the only coherent thing Jared can voice right now. 

Misha gets off the mattress and uses what looks like a freaking mirror to get a good view of Jensen’s birth canal, twisting himself until he’s almost lying on his stomach.

“Is it… Shouldn’t you have better access?” Jared worries.

“I’m not moving,” Jensen warns, still resting against Jared.

“The position works for you?” Misha asks.

“Yeah.”

“Good, that’s what’s important. Jared, don’t worry, I’m used to follow my patient’s lead,” Misha murmurs, using a fresh vinyl glove and checking somehow between Jensen’s legs. 

“You’re very flexible,” Jared has to admit. 

“Well, five years of yo-“

“Misha, I need to push again,” Jensen warns, bracing himself.

“Do it, your baby’s close, Jensen, it won’t be long.”

“I know.”

Jensen pushes stronger and longer this time. He does it in silence; his strength, which Jared can feel through the grip his husband has on him, is impressive considering he’s been in labour for close to ten hours. When he finally breathes out, all that Jared can hear is a very soft moan. “Okay, babe, it’s okay,” he murmurs, slowly rubbing Jensen’s back.

“Won’t be long,” Jensen says, lifting his head to look at Jared. “I think I can touch its head.”

“Jen, you should let Misha do-“

“It’s my baby, I know what to do,” Jensen replies, sliding a hand between their pressed bodies. Jared looks at Misha, waiting for him to intervene, to help Jensen or downright tell him that he doesn’t have to do a doctor’s or midwife’s job. All Jared gets is a silent nod from the other man, who still looks relaxed and in control, trusting Jensen.

“I… “ Jensen frowns. “It’s… I can almost… Maybe with the next push.”

Jensen pushes again but this time the silence is broken by a sudden cry. He lifts his head once more, looking at Jared with huge, wild eyes. “God, Jay, I… His head, it’s… Can you… Wanna feel it?”

“Jensen, I’m not-“

“Here,” Misha says, guiding Jared’s hand. 

Jared doesn’t realize he’s crying until he feels the wetness on his cheeks. Because he can feel it, with his shaking fingers -the soft and damp skin of his son’s head. When Jensen’s hand joins his, the intensity of his emotions is almost too much. Jared’s gone, sobbing loudly when Jensen pushes so hard his whole body is shaking with tension, a groan caught in his throat, because the baby’s head is sliding out, and Jared can feel all of it. Misha’s hands join theirs, he says something about everything being fine, no cord wrapped around the neck, and that Jensen can let his body work naturally.

“He’s coming out,” Jensen warns in a shaky voice.

He rests his head and shoulders against Jared’s chest, both of his hands now reaching and trying to get a grip on his son. Misha had told them that Jensen’s nesting instincts could make him want to keep control over the delivery, but Jared never imagined what it really meant; how strong and determined Jensen would be to help their baby into the world, despite the pain and the exhaustion, as if he could have done it all by himself.

“Help me, he’s slippery,” Jensen groans into Jared’s chest between two pushes.

“Oh my god,” Jared murmurs, reaching down and intertwining his hands with Jensen’s over their baby’s head and shoulders.

“Almost there, Jensen, go at your own rhythm, everything is fine,” Misha instructs him.

“It’s… okay… I… Jay, come on, I think…” Jensen gives one last push and the weight of the tiny, warm body of the baby shifts, resting completely in his hands.

He’s holding his son. 

Jared’s holding his son. Jensen cries too, and everything happens quickly. He falls to his side on the mattress and Jared follows, not letting go of the baby, finally able to look down at him, at the small but already wiggling body between them, the umbilical cord the only thing keeping him linked to Jensen’s body still.

The baby’s face is stuck into a surprised grimace, his tiny legs jerking, his chest heaving. He’s there, whole, perfect, even bloodied and still silent, his skin more bluish than pink. 

“Give… Give him to me,” Jensen reaches out and grabs the baby, pulling him up against his chest. Jared keeps holding him, unable to let go, and when finally, finally, the baby starts wailing, helped by Jensen rubbing his face clean with the corner of a sheet, Jared feels the whole world tilt on its axis. It’s like an out-of-body experience, like he can see from outside himself; Jensen resting on his side, the baby pressed possessively against him, looking up at Jared with awe and completion in his eyes, while Jared is half sitting, half lying over the both of them, still sobbing dryly, his arms wrapped around his husband and their son protectively.

“That’s it, alright,” Misha says out of the blue, and Jared looks up at him, momentarily surprised to see him there, holding a clean towel and a small pumping bulb. “Jensen, can I?” He asks.

“Yeah, yeah just… be careful,” Jensen says, his voice full of doubt.

Jared holds back a growl when the midwife inserts himself in the cocoon of their new bonded family. His animal spirit wants to come to life and stretch its long, powerful wings over his husband and son, keeping them out of harm’s way. It takes all Jared’s control not to shift right then and get Misha away from Jensen, from the baby.

“Hey, I’m here to help,” Misha tells him in a comforting, non-threatening voice.

Jared nods at him, a silent agreement established between them. Misha might not be able to shift, but he truly has the spirit of a weredragon.

::: :::

Never underestimate the power of endorphins.

Jensen has seen the look of bliss on patient’s faces before, the high that’s provoked by the sudden absence of pain after having suffered through great amounts of it. He always thought those patients were like happy drunks, and now that he’s experiencing it himself, that’s exactly how it feels.

His son is resting securely in the crook of his arms, his little red mouth attached to his left nipple, drinking with all the energy a newborn is capable of. He’s perfect, his skin pink and soft, his head perfectly round, covered with a soft pale down. Wrapped in a blanket, surrounded by pillows, the baby is content and warm; Jensen knows this, the same way he’s known how to build a nest. It’s a wonderful feeling.

The baby weighs seven pounds two ounces and has scored a nine out of ten on his Apgar test. The physical exam Misha did revealed nothing out of the ordinary. Jensen even had the chance to witness a reflex that’s present for a few hours following a weredragon’s birth, or hatch. When a light was pointed at the baby’s murky blue eyes, they shifted for a few seconds, revealing a golden iris and vertical pupil. It will disappear, just like the walking reflex, and come back when his son will be ready to shift for the first time. 

Jensen tries to settle more comfortably. Misha’s been busy cleaning him up, and Jensen can’t wait to put on something and bury himself under the covers. He gave birth less than an hour ago and already, it feels like the events of the night were a very vivid hallucination. Jensen remembers every second of it, but the brain is a wonderful machine, and it’s already working on making him forget how bad the pain had been. Without this, Jensen doubts anybody would ever want to have more than one kid.

“Can you lift your hips for me, Jensen?” Misha asks.

Jensen nods and bends his legs, helped by Jared. He’s sore, to the point where he can’t do any physical effort without his muscles shaking. The price is small to pay to finally have his son in his arms. Jensen would have paid any price, really. The love he feels for his baby is intense and infinite, almost scary. He knows Jared feels it as well. Despite his best efforts, Jared couldn’t really control the shifting of his eyes, had almost sprouted wings when Misha had asked if he could take the baby to examine him. It reassures Jensen, somewhere deep inside himself, to witness Jared’s surge of protectiveness toward the baby and him.

Jensen is finally cleaned and covered in fresh sheets. Jared helps him drink some cold water while Misha takes his vital signs. The midwife congratulates him once more and tells him everything is under control. 

“You did great, Jensen.”

“It’s not like I had the choice,” Jensen jokes with a voice that comes out weaker than he thought. “This little guy wanted out.”

“Don’t try to minimize what you just did,” Jared says seriously. “You were amazing.”

Jensen can feel himself blush. He doesn’t even know why. Hell, he just pushed a seven pound baby out of him. He’s kind of amazed at himself. 

“I’m going to start writing my report and leave you guys some well deserved intimacy,” Misha winks at Jensen and gets out of the bedroom, his arms full of soiled material.

Jensen sighs, sinks deeper in his nest. The baby is almost done, although he’s not ready to let go of his nipple just yet. He’s almost asleep, waking up every other minute to suck a couple of seconds before giving way to exhaustion once more. It’s adorable.

A camera flash takes Jensen’s gaze away from his son. Jared is standing at the foot of the nest, holding his phone. Jensen grimaces. “Come on, warn a guy, I must look like roadkill.”

“You really don’t,” Jared states with the same serious tone he’s used since their son has been born. “Do you want to call your parents?”

“I don’t know, what time is it?”

“A quarter past two, but I’m sure your mom won’t mind,” Jared smiles.

Jensen knows this, but he’s not ready just yet to break the bubble he’s been in since the labour started. He pats the mattress. “Come on, come lie down with us. The rest can wait.”

Jared doesn’t need to be told twice. In two large steps, he’s in the nest, settling near Jensen cautiously and wrapping an arm around him. Jensen hums in contentment. Life can’t possibly get better than this.

“I love you, so damn much,” Jared whispers, kissing the top of his head. “Jensen, what you did tonight… Wow. I can’t even put words on what I feel right now. Fuck, you were amazing. Scary, but amazing.”

“Scary?”

Jared caresses the bridge of the baby’s nose with a finger. Their son makes a soft, snuffling sound. 

“If Misha hadn't been there, it wouldn’t have made any difference,” Jared goes on. “I mean, I’m not saying he wasn’t useful, but you did it on your own, Jen. You grabbed our kid while giving birth to him, you knew what to do.”

“Well, couldn’t have done it without you.”

“I think you would have. I think you’re strong, I never realized how much you were. Thank you.”

Jensen lifts his head to look at his husband. His eyes are bright, he’s smiling. He’s beautiful.

“Thank you for what?”

“For giving me a son. For going through everything you’ve been through.”

The moment is a little too intense and after the events of the night, Jensen suddenly needs to see Jared’s dimples, the way his eyes close when he laughs. He needs to get back in touch with reality again. “Well, thank you for pounding my ass and getting me pregnant in the first place,” he says as seriously as Jared.

Jared does laugh, and blushes, and kisses Jensen sloppily. “Too much shared feelings, I guess,” he says after taking a long, uneven breath.

“I have my limits,” Jensen admits. He looks down at his son, who's stopped sucking and now sleeps soundly, his tiny mouth slack. 

It’s incredible to try and process the fact that he’s here, finally, with them.

“So? What does he look like? A Thomas? Or maybe a Logan, an Oliver?”

“To be honest,” Jared says slowly. “He totally looks like a Henry.”

Jensen doesn’t try to hide his surprise. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah. More specifically, he looks like a Henry Ackles-Padalecki.” 

“Listen, Jay, I appreciate it, I do, but I don’t want you to hate the name of our son,” Jensen tries.

“Okay, let’s make this clear: after what you’ve done tonight, you’d want to name him Augustus and I would totally let you,” Jared explains, a small smile quirking up his lips. “But since Henry is the only name we’ve ever discussed, I kind of called him that in my head for the past couple of months and it’s hard to imagine him being named otherwise.”

Jensen feels close to tears all over again, and he doesn’t have it in him to fight them off. 

“Okay, then.”

“Besides, I get to pick his second name,” Jared adds, looking evil all of sudden.

“Oh my god, were you serious about Augustus?” Jensen asks, horrified, letting Jared getting away with wiping his tears away.

“Naw. I was more going for something like my grandfather’s name. Garrisson.”

Jensen tries not to winces, unsure if Jared is serious or not. “We’ll… have to discuss this.”

“I figured,” Jared is all dimples and playful smile now. 

Henry sighs and tries to bury his head farther into Jensen’s chest. For a moment, all Jensen can do is look at him, feel him, smell him. The high of loving someone so much is incredible. He would do it all over again. 

The chances of them conceiving another child are almost nonexistent: having done it once is in no way a guarantee they could do it again, according to the studies. Jensen has been an only child and it’s been lonely, he’s always wished he’d have a sibling. Thinking that Henry will be in the same situation kind of breaks his heart, which is ridiculous, given that he’s just been born.

Jensen is tired to the bone. He should stop thinking all together and let sleep take him, leave it to Jared to call their parents and watch over Henry. 

Jared seems to feel him drifting off and tucks himself closer around the Jensen and the baby. Now that the thought of sleeping has made its way into Jensen’s mind, the urge is impossible to fight. He hears Jared telling him to let go, that he’s watching over them, and it’s enough. 

“I’m happy,” Jensen whispers, trying to open his eyes one last time. It seems important to let Jared know.

“I’m fucking ecstatic,” Jared answers softly, kissing the top of his head.

Jensen smiles and let go.

To be continued


	9. Epilogue

_Twenty months later._

Jared looks at Genevieve and Matt’s faces intently while they chew slowly. This new recipe has been something he’s worked on for the past two weeks, an apple and pear pie with a spicy touch of ginger and cardamom. The tricky part was to balance the spices to get just a taste of them while keeping the sweetness in the foreground.

It takes two seconds watching his colleagues before he knows he succeeded. Genevieve smiles and pats him on the shoulder.

“Wow, I’m impressed.” 

“I know, right?” Jared grins, wiping his sticky hands on his apron.

“It’s nice,” Matt adds. “Did you think about adding a touch of cinnamon?”

“I tried but it unbalanced the-“

Jared feels his cell phone vibrate in his pocket. He sees his home number on the screen and answers immediately, leaving Gen and Matt to the pie tasting. 

“Hey baby,” he says, smiling as he imagines Jensen’s eye roll.

“I’ll let that one go,” Jensen answers sternly, “because I want you to come home right now.”

“Something wrong?”

“No, but something has happened and you need to see it.” Jensen seems to be trying hard to hide the excitement in his voice but Jared sees right through him.

“Jen?”

“Awww, come on, don’t ask questions, it’s a surprise. Can you come or not?”

“I’ll be there in half an hour,” Jared agrees, shooting an apologetic look at Genevieve who dismisses it like it’s nothing, as always.

He plants two loud kisses on each of her cheeks before leaving.

It’s the middle of the afternoon, a Tuesday, but of course Jared gets stuck in traffic. He texts Jensen, annoyed, and tries to be patient. 

He lowers the sun visor to look at the picture of Henry he keeps there. It had been taken a couple of months back. His son is holding himself up between Jensen’s legs, smiling so wide his eyes are reduced to slits, his chin glistening with saliva. His blond hair is sticking up in a funny tuft at the top of his head. He wears a onesie they’d thrown away maybe a week later –it’s visible in the picture, the way the red cotton is stretched a little too tight on Henry’s chubby body. He’s growing up so fast.

Even if the only thing visible of Jensen are his legs, the feel of the picture reminds Jared of home and his husband, always so attentive and patient with Henry. When Jared isn't at work, he tries to spend as much time as possible with his son, but he can’t deny there is a special bond between Jensen and Henry. It’s only normal, after all. Jensen is the parent who spends each and every day with Henry. When they had talked about him going back to work, around Henry’s first birthday, Jensen had admitted that he wasn’t looking forward to it, that he didn’t care about losing his job at the Whispering Willows and that it was more important for him to take care of Henry. They’d look at their finances and realized that it was possible, as long as they didn’t make any extravagant purchases. Jared and Gen’s catering service had started to offer ready-to-eat meals in some grocery stores in the Boston area, expanding their market in the months following Henry’s birth. They'd had a lot of success, more than they’d even dreamed of. So, the extra money Jared was earning balanced the absence of a second salary. He’d been clear with Jensen: it wasn’t Jared’s money but the family’s. Jensen had laughed. “I know that. I’m raising our son.”

Which, given how important Jensen’s career had been for him before, had surprised Jared. Priorities tend to change drastically when you become parents.

Lost in his thoughts, Jared doesn’t realize the cars are moving again until he hears a loud honk. “Yeah, alright, calm down,” he states in a loud voice, concentrating on the road again.

He arrives home less than ten minutes later. It’s March and the temperature is still cold, but they’ve had a couple of warmer days during which they took Henry outside. He loves playing outside, running in his tiny rain boots and pointing at everything he sees. Jensen says he has Jared’s personality, Jared feels ridiculously proud about it.

“Finally, you’re here!” Jensen opens the door as Jared is about to grab the handle. He looks overly excited, eyes shining bright and cheeks red. 

“Where’s Henry?”

“In the living room, playing with his blocks. Come on,” Jensen urges Jared who’s taking off his coat and boots. As soon as he’s done, his husband takes his hand and drags him through the house to the living room, where Henry, wearing only a diaper, is trying to balance one cube on top of another.

“So?” Jensen asks expectantly. 

“I… what am I supposed to...?” Jared is confused.

At this moment, Henry realizes he’s not alone anymore and smiles at Jared, saying “Dad-dee” in delight and then trying to stand up without falling. Jared catches the glimpse of something dark on his back, but then Henry is running toward him clumsily and all Jared can do is crouch and open his arms.

“Hey, buddy, I missed you,” he murmurs.

Henry plants a wet, open-mouthed kiss on Jared’s cheek and shoves his head in the crook of his neck. Jared closes his arms around him to lift him up and that’s when he finally feels it, the two flesh-like bumps on his back. His mouth opens wide and he lifts his head toward Jensen who’s looking down at him, his arms crossed over his chest.

“Sometimes you can be very thick.”

“Oh my god, Henry, you…“ Jared lifts his son and brings him to eye level. “Your first shift, baby!”

“Dad-dee mik, meek pwease dad-dee.”

“Yes he’s hungry. And he doesn’t care about the wings.” 

“When did this happens?”

“After lunch, he was acting strange, like he was huh… concentrating really hard on something.”

“Like-“

“Yes, like he was about to poop,” Jensen admits. “That’s totally what I thought. I took him out of his high chair because you know how uncomfortable he gets when he’s sitting on his… you know…”

Leave it to Jensen to get embarrassed about bodily functions when that’s about half of what having a baby is about in the first two years.

“Took him into my arms and then he coughed. He coughed smoke, Jay.”

“Really?”

Jared feels something growing in his chest. Dragon’s pride. He tries not to show it too much, but Jensen is smirking at him. 

“And then I put him down and he got on all fours and he made the most adorable groaning sound, then his wings kind of appeared out of nowhere. I don’t think he even realizes they’re there.”

Henry is twisting between Jared’s arms, tired of being held. Jared puts him down and takes the opportunity to have a better look at the wings. They’re folded neatly, probably because his son isn’t aware he can move them yet. The fine membrane is thin but solid, dark, not the black color of Jared’s own wings, but a deep shade of red. Megan, Jared’s sister, is the same color in her dragon form, with speckles of gold all over her body. 

“Aren’t they supposed to… I don’t know, pop back in?” Jensen asks, a crease of worry between his eyes.

“They will. Give him time. He doesn’t have any idea what’s going on.”

Jared remembers when his sister was very young and she would find herself between her dragon and human form. Their mother would shift next to her to show her what was actually going on. Henry is still a baby, though, and Jared wonders if that tactic would work with him.

Why the hell not try. It won’t be the first time his son has seen him in his animal form. Jared has shifted regularly in his presence since Henry was born, so that he could get used to the idea that his father was sometimes a dragon, and not be scared by it.

The living room is large enough if he only shifts for a short period of time. Outside would be better, but it’s still cold, and anyway, it’s not like Henry will fly any time soon. Jared was almost nine the first time he actually succeeded in leaving the ground.

He begins to undress.

“What are you doing?” Jensen asks.

“Showing him.”

“Jay, are you sure…?”

“Yeah.”

Jensen nods, but he’s licking his upper lip, a sign that he is nervous. Henry, completely oblivious to them, is trotting back to his blocks.

“Hey, buddy, look at dad,” Jared calls.

As soon as Henry turns his head toward him, Jared shifts. As usual, his son gets all excited to see his daddy in dragon form and starts walking toward him, trying to clap his hands at the same time.

Jared lifts his wings and stretches them carefully.

“Careful,” Jensen warns.

Jared huffs and takes a step closer to Henry who stops all of sudden, his wide green eyes taking on a thoughtful expression

“Dwaa-gon dad-dee,” he says, looking at Jensen.

“Yes, baby, look, you have wings, just like daddy,” Jensen explains, crouching next to him and touching the little folded wings.

Jared tries to communicate with his son. Communication between dragons can be tricky: it’s all in the head position and the way they growl. Since weres spend most of their life in their human form, the way they communicate with each other in their animal form has always remained rudimentary.

 _Look,_ Jared tries to say. _It’s in you too. You can do it too._

Henry tilts his head in a funny way, then opens his mouth and lets out a tiny growl that has Jared smiling on the inside. 

“Wanna be a dragon? ‘Cause you can, Henry,” Jensen whispers.

Henry smiles at him, showing his dimples, then his tiny body is shaken by a violent shiver and he falls flat on his ass. Jensen is already stretching his arms to pick him up but Jared stops him with a soft push of his muzzle. Something is about to happen, he can tell.

“Da-da,” Henry cries, shaking his head from left to right.

Then he becomes completely still and it happens. Slowly. Jared can actually hear the bones snap as they rearrange and the skin makes this oh so familiar noise of scales clicking against each other. It takes longer than a few seconds, but not much. Once the process is really started it’s actually hard to stop.

“Is he in pain?” Jensen keeps asking, visibly restraining himself from touching Henry, taking the wrecked diaper on the floor and pushing it out of the way.

Jared shakes his head and lifts his right front paw, putting it very softly on Jensen’s bended leg. 

“Oh. My god, oh god, baby, you…” Jensen whispers, staring with wide eyes at the tiny dragon now facing them.

Henry seems to be even smaller than in his human form, which isn’t true, Jared knows. It's a question of the body cells reorganizing. Very little weight can be gained or lost in the transformation process. 

His son will make a beautiful dragon. For now, his muzzle is still short and thick, his scales look tender and his tail and wings are immobile because he hasn't yet learned how to control them. He needs first to realize this duality in himself, to be completely conscious of the dragon inside him.

But right now, all Jared can think about is how much they look alike. Henry’s scales are of a deep red shade circled in black. He has a few golden scales on his muzzle that remind Jared of Jensen’s freckles. His tail is long, his wings, clumsily flapping, are almost crimson. He’s going to be a powerful and elegant dragon, Jared can tell. 

Henry tries to walk into Jensen’s outstretched arms on his short paws, but soon falls over onto his side. Jared helps him up with his muzzle, licks a strip on his neck to signify his affection and support. Henry looks at him quizzically, then opens his mouth very slowly, like he’s testing it, and an adorable pink pointy tongue peaks out. Henry lifts his head to reach Jared, who complies immediately by lowering his. He feels it, the touch of his son’s tongue just below his chin, and the sensation is intense.

It feels like Henry is being born all over again.

Jared looks up at Jensen who seems frozen in place, sitting back on his heels, his arms open, ready to catch Henry. His eyes are shining and his lower lip is shaking a little.

Good, Jared thinks, he’s not the only one. Although, in his dragon form, his overflow of emotions is expressed by a soft, low growl.

Jensen joins Jared in bed, letting himself drop onto the mattress and sighing loudly. He looks more tired than usual these days, but having an overactive toddler can do that to a person. Jared has no doubt the whole shifting-for-the-first-time thing that happened today is responsible for a part of his exhaustion. A young weredragon is twice as much work as a human, because now that Henry has shifted once, he’ll want to try it again. There is no telling when, or where. It could happen while he and Jensen are grocery shopping. It could even happen when he is sleeping. He won’t produce any flames before he reaches his teenage years, thank god for small miracles, but yes, their life has just become more complicated.

“You okay?” Jared asks, observing Jensen who’s lying on his back, hands crossed under his head, looking at the ceiling. He hasn't turned the bedside light off.

“I don’t know,” Jensen says after a minute. “To be honest, I don’t know how I’ll manage.”

“The shifting? We'll get used to it, and I can spend a little more time at home, to help, plus, maybe it won’t happen again for months and-“

“Jay,” Jensen cuts him off, smirking. “Don’t panic, it’s not like it’s your fault.”

“Well,” Jared smiles. “It kind of is.”

Jensen opens his mouth, then closes it. “True. But that’s not what I meant when I said I don’t know how I’ll manage. Truth is…” He casts Jared a quick look and goes back to staring at the ceiling. He’s blushing, Jared can see the color rise from his neck to his cheeks and ears. 

“Truth is, your son stole my thunder today. Little brat must have known.”

“Know what? What thunder?” Jared is confused, and maybe a little worried.

“I had planned to take you to the restaurant, to Pierre’s, your favorite, for like… a romantic dinner. I even called the baby-sitter.”

“We should have still gone. Why did you cancel?” 

“Nah, felt like going overboard after seeing Henry shift into a dragon like his dad for the first time. Anyway…”

Jensen turns on his side to grab something from the table, then gives it to Jared.

It hasn't been so long that Jared doesn’t recognize a pregnancy test, but he keeps staring at it, like his brain doesn’t know how to process the little “plus” sign. The first thought that comes to his mind is to wonder why Jensen is showing him Henry’s positive test.

Then there is this explosion of wonder in his heart. 

“Seriously?” He asks, looking at Jensen who’s staring at him intently.

“Yep. I’m probably early, though, maybe five weeks, but huh… yeah.”

“Jensen, what are the odds?”

“Close to a miracle,” Jensen says, “at least that’s what Dr. Harris told me on the phone today. And also that I must definitely have some were genes and not like, fourth or fifth generation.”

The way Jensen explains all this, so matter-of-factly, puts Jared into action. He gets on his knees on the bed and pulls his husband until he has no choice but to sit up. Then he hugs him, fiercely, for a long time.

“Careful, carrying precious merchandise here,” Jensen mumbles into his shoulder.

Jared lets go, but just for the time it takes to cradle his husband’s face between his hands. “You’ll manage. You know you will.”

“I know,” Jensen nods. “I just wanted to complain and get your attention a little.”

“Oh, but you did,” Jared kisses him noisily on the mouth. “You’re allowed to complain all you want. Seriously, Jen, you’re so calm, you… You’re not even a little worried, I mean, the last pregnancy wasn’t exactly easy on you.”

“That is a polite way to say I was a drama queen.”

“No!” Jared denies with vigor, “Not at all.”

Jensen gets a more serious, but still soft expression. “I’m not worried. This time I know I’m going to get crazy for a while. I can deal. Giving Henry a little brother or sister, it's important to me, and the only other way would have been adoption if I didn’t find myself pregnant so… I’m actually looking forward to it.”

“You know how fantastic you are?”

“Of course I do.”

Jared kisses Jensen again and finds out, in the process, that he’s not worried either. He’s simply happy.

FIN


End file.
